Who do you tip??

Following! Our venue includes gratuity for the bartenders, but am wondering about the DJ.

We're tipping:

-Limo Driver

-2nd photog (doesn't one the company. the first photog does)

-Photo booth attendant

-DJ

-Wait Staff (maybe. Depends on the total of our auto grat)

We're tipping:

-DJs ($50)

-Photographer ($50)

-Officiant ($50)

-Cake delivery person ($20)

My parents are tipping the bartender ($50) and the serving staff as well ($25 each).

ETA: We're tipping the photographer because she will be traveling to multiple locations and the officiant because he's coming from 50 minutes away. It essentially works out to cover their gas money, because I feel bad about that.

Waitstaff, bartenders...everyone else owns their companies.

Thanks for the advice everyone

I had a family member who decorated cookies and gave them to the waitstaff so she could tip less, the rationalization being that if those waiters bought her cookies they would cost about $5 each so that is $10 off the tip money. I commend you for realizing their tips should be budgeted from the get go haha. I am doing the same thing!

-I will send my Officiant a Thank You note and a review....which should be an awesome review!

-Caterer has included the gratuity in the cost. GOOD!

-The venue will have two ppl who will be with us in the historic home. Probably $50 visa's, so they can use it anyway they want. I will also include them in the luncheon guest count. Also the historic coordinator who has helped with booking the village. Is she is not one of the two I will stop by and give her a little something.

-Photography: I'll determine that after I see the pics.

I have a follow up question (or really several):

1) Our venue is already charging us a "service" charge of 20% - am I correct in assuming that then we don't have to tip our waitstaff/bartenders/etc? It's a hotel (don't know if that matters)

2) If our wedding coordinator/florist (same person), DJ, Photographer and cake-baker are all owners of their respective businesses, does this mean we don't have to tip them either? Can I instead send a gift card and thank you note after the fact if we're really happy with their services?

3) For the photographer - our package includes two photographers and two videographers. The owner is one of the photographers. Do we tip the other three people? If so, how much?

4) Similarly, the day-of coordinator is actually also bringing an assistant - do I tip her? I actually had to pay an extra $200 for the package that had the owner in it instead of two other staff members... does that change anything?

5) We're getting married in a Catholic Church so we're already making a "donation" of $500 plus "donations"/payments to each of the church coordinator and musician - does that mean we don't have to tip these people either (or is it still customary to make an additional donation or something on top?)

Lol sorry for all the questions but this topic really confuses me - I've seen a number of posts on here about this but it seems like each situation is slightly different TBH. And there just seems like there are so many people involved!

@Lara - are you not supposed to tip people who own their own companies? My photographer runs her own business out of her house, so would etiquette dictate that I don't have to tip her? She has already insisted on no vendor meal, and she is such a sweetheart.

@FutureMrs.Pej - I'm right there with you. My venue is pretty all inclusive, they provide the food and alcohol, waitstaff and bartender, even day of coordinator. There was already gratuity included in our price, so I assumed that we don't have to tip the venue's staff?

ETA: Is there a standard tip for DJs? Or a standard percent? We are pretty good about tipping 20% or more when we go out, but our DJ cost 1K, and I just can't see tipping $200.

MrsPej - you will still have to tip waitstaff and bartenders, but everything else sounds right.

Sooo... Question...

Gratuity is NOT included in my catering package, but the budget lists how much I'm paying for each, and it's pretty up there.

Servers: $240

Event Coordinator: $300

I'm hiring bartenders on my own for $100 and my people tip very well, so I'm not concerned that they're going to be well taken care of.

I was planning on tipping each of the staff $50 on top of their rate.... but $240 for 6 hours is $40 an hour... I tip to show gratitude, but more so because I know people survive off of it... $40 an hour is a lot.

Thoughts?

@trisa that does sound like a lot? I totally agree with you - if someone does an above and beyond job making sure all goes well, we like to take care of them too. I know people have made comments about not tipping your bartenders/coat check staff because they're going to be getting tips all night from other guests, but I still thinking throwing in an extra $20/each is okay.

I know our contract for our venue includes gratuity of 12%, but I want to see who exactly that gratuity is going to. We have to ask during our first venue meeting in July. Our venue provides the catering, alcohol, bartenders, wait staff, maitre'd, and the wedding coordinator who helps us plan everything beforehand, so I want to know who our money is going to or for what services. Our DJ is a friend of ours so we're tipping a little more than usual. As for the other vendors, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how everything goes the day of? It's hard to make a decision at this point I think..