Who do i get ready with- Mom,stepmom or Both? Help! Sorry it's so long!

I would invite them both to get ready with you. Your mother can act like an adult for your wedding day, and if she can't, she can get ready on her own.

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I was thinking the same thing. She's just the type to make little comments and be SUPER sensitive and I can literally see her saying "Oh you're talking to her more than me" and rolling her eyes. She gives me alottttt of anxiety.

Tbh i would only invite step mom bio mom isnt even trying... im only inviting my fmil to get ready with me n we're not having a bridal party

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I think recognizing this behavior is the first step in helping you deal with it. You know that this is how your mom is and that you're not truly doing anything wrong. You can't do anything to change her behavior, but you can change the way that you react. I would simply ignore her if she makes those comments on your wedding day. I know it's easier said than done, but hopefully not feeding into it will help it subside.

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I just know this would cause more drama than its worth and I truly want my wedding day to be about my FH and me.

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Yes for sure! I've gotten much better at letting it roll of but it is very difficult. She's definitely one of the only people that can set me off.

Im in your exact situation. I only invited my mom at first. Yes it’s easy to say they can be an adult for one day but sometimes they can’t. My mom surprisingly told me she was ok with my stepmom joining us, so I invited my stepmom and she declined.

That’s a tough one.


Invite them both. Your mom can rise to the occasion and act like an adult or she won’t. I’m sorry it has to be that way.

I wouldn't invite either of them. Dressing for a big occasion is hard enough without a soap opera potentially going on in the room.

I would invite both. If one does not want to attend because they other is there, then that's your choice. I would hope they could put aside their feelings for a few hours while everyone is getting ready.

I would say invite them both. Howeverrrrrr. Talk to your mom and tell her how important they both are to you and that it’s important to you to have both of them there with you getting ready and that if she can’t act like an adult for you on your wedding day then she is more than welcome to get ready on her own. And then tell your stepmom essentially the same thing minus the put up or shut up as you know she’s likely not going to be the one to make things difficult but if your mom makes any snide comment at her to try to keep her cool about it. If there’s someone who tends to be a diffuser when it comes to the two of them, keep them nearby or on speed dial so they can come in, grab both of them Out of the room and set them straight. That way you don’t have to deal with trying to make it work and being stressed about it.

I would invite them both and maybe you FMIL too, make it into a group activity with more people so they have some space to separate.

I totally understand this as this will be the same dilemma I will have the day of my wedding. At this point I am just going to go with the flow. You can sit there and over analyze everything little thing and scenario that MAY happen but at the end of the day if they simply cant act right then maybe simply say "Would y'all mind if i finish getting ready by myself? I am in need of some quiet time" or maybe have them go check on some items that need finalizing for you just to get some piece to yourself. At the end of the day remember this day is all about you and your FH! Enjoy and congrats!