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J
Just Said Yes July 2022

Which is a better idea for a wedding no food or potluck reception?

Jenny, on September 24, 2021 at 11:25 AM Posted in Planning 0 39

Hi! I'm excitedly planning my wedding for next year! To have my perfect day I'm making cuts whenever possible. We will be having a cash bar to save money. We've already set up a GoFundMe so guests can contribute to the wedding. I know people will be excited to contributed. Another good idea I'm having is to have a tiered reception with different guests invited to different events, which I think would work for us. I'm just not sure what to do about food. We can't afford to feed everyone. Some of my friends say to skip the food- no one eats at weddings anyway and people will just want to drink and mingle and can get food before or afterward. But one of my aunts was saying she'd want food and I should have a "potluck" reception where guests bring different items- she thinks guests would be honored to be included and be excited to help out! I'm already having my friends and family do most of the labor for my wedding so I'm sure everyone would love to help out more. But maybe food just isn't necessary. What do you guys think?

39 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on September 27, 2021 at 11:34 AM
  • I_Do_Too
    Devoted September 2020
    I_Do_Too ·
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    Thats great your excited but this is all sorts of no. If you are hosting a wedding, you need to host one and not put the responsibility on others, no matter their relation to you or how enthusiastic they are about it. Instead of a GoFundMe (which is used for charity—and a wedding is certainly not) It’d be better to do a honeymoon fund or registry. At the least you should provide refreshments/small bites. I would say cut the guest list considerably instead of the shortcuts above.
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    I'm gonna be honest with you, not many people on here will like these ideas. I'm assuming you know your crowd well so if you think they are okay with cash bars, GoFund me, tiered reception, and potlucks, then go for it. But I definitely wouldn't ask guests to contribute to the wedding financially and ALSO ask them to bring food AND pay for their drinks on top of that. That's a bit much for my liking.

    Again, maybe your crowd is different than most, but many people on this forum will not like this.

    ETA: Also, definitely steer away from a tiered reception. If your guests are providing essentially everything then what is the point of ranking them from most to least important?

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    "no one eats at weddings anyway"?? That is certainly not my experience.

    I'm sorry, is this a joke post? It seems like a joke because you mention GoFundMe (which is for charities and emergencies), tiered reception, cash bar, making family provide free labor, skipping food entirely, AND a potluck. I have literally never seen so many inadvisable ideas together in one post. This feels like you have gone through the WW archives to pull out all of the ways to mistreat your "guests."

    Hosting people requires actually providing them with some type of refreshment (it doesn't need to be fancy or expensive). It doesn't sound like you are planning to host anything at all (no food or beverages). If you truly cannot afford to host an event then plan a wedding with very limited guests or even no guests at all. I had a very small wedding so that I could afford to feed the guests I did invite (immediate family only) lunch after the courthouse ceremony.

    Oh, and to answer your title question: neither of those choices is better.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2023
    Cece ·
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    This has to be a troll post. It’s like you took every single “no no” and shoved it all into one post.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    Ya'll, PLEASE don't fall for this post. Smiley xd

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  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2023
    Cece ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Right?! TROLL!!tenor.gif

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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    tenor.gif
    Seriously I call troll
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  • J
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Jenny ·
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    Well thank you ladies for the feedback. I have to respectfully disagree. All my cost-savings ideas are great and beautiful and I was just looking for some helpful tips on food. But I still appreciate the feedback. It's much appreciated. The only thing that bothered me is being called a troll. What does that even mean? Is it some sort of racial reference? I'm a little saddened

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  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
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    This isn’t even a good troll post. It’s way too obvious.
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  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
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    You need to feed people. If you can afford to feed 10, you invite only 10 people. You don't expect people to show up and not be fed with a budget for 10 and a guest list of 100.

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  • Krystina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Krystina ·
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    Thanks, haven't laughed that hard in a while.

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  • Nisha
    Expert May 2022
    Nisha ·
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    The best idea is to elope. If you can't afford to feed your guests, you can't afford a wedding.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree. To be honest, it sounds like all the “must have or your day will be a disaster” Reddit wedding “advice” rolled into one
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  • Ariel
    Devoted October 2021
    Ariel ·
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    I echo what everyone said. If you afford to host the party cut the guest list. Some low cost food options are cake & punch, sandwiches, or tacos. I’d recommend cake and punch. You can get affordable cakes at your local grocery store.


    Best of luck and I hope this isn’t a troll, but you asking what a troll is and if it’s racist definitely made me lol.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    All of your plans are rude as heck. Go back to the drawing board.

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  • Janet
    Devoted October 2018
    Janet ·
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    Based on the title alone. Have a cake and punch reception and save all your money.


    Based on everything else in the post. Just no, it’s super rude from start to finish


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  • Mrs_Cs
    Just Said Yes August 2021
    Mrs_Cs ·
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    Hi from the FB shaming group 👋
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  • S
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Sylvia ·
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    If you’re not a troll…. You want people to get drunk on empty stomachs and pray for those drinks. Then you want them to give you money for your dress and flowers, the things they don’t care about. And on top of that you want them to set everything up? Why would anyone want to go to such a lame “party”?



    You sound like a rude and entitled person who wants everything for free and who can’t be bothered with actually being a good host. Don’t worry, by expecting everyone to open their wallets and do the work they won’t come and save you tons but not having guests.
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  • S
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Sylvia ·
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    Have you ever been to a wedding or even a simple party before?
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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    To be honest, all of your ideas are horrible lol. A tiered reception is a terrible idea. You should never ask your loved ones yo pay for your wedding and then bring your own food. This is so bad I don’t even wanna spend more time replying to it. It’d be better to invite no one, honestly, and just elope, if you can’t manage to host properly by feeding your guests at least.
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