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Lotisle
Just Said Yes February 2021

Whether or Not Groom's Brother Should be Invited

Lotisle, on June 23, 2019 at 10:57 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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My husband's younger brother got married today. We were not sent so much as an announcement let alone an invitation. My husband is trying to hide it, but it is quite obvious he is hurt. We will be renewing our wedding vows in 2 years. We are currently compiling our guest list for the renewal. I'm not sure as to whether or not we should invite my brother in law and my now sister in law. Part of me wants to be the bigger person, while the other part of me doesn't want to invite them. They didn't care enough to invite us, so why should we care to invite them. I'm torn......any suggestions on how to handle this?

9 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on June 24, 2019 at 11:35 AM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I would put them on. It will be awhile before you need to send invites out. Hopefully you'll be able to mend fences. And, if not, you can just take them off before you send anything out.
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  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    Id hold off on deciding anything qhile feelings are raw. Theta a possibility there was a reason for the secret/rushed wedding. Heck not to be rude but they might not even be together in 2 years
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I agree with PP in that you do have some time to decide if you want to or not.
    You could always put them down as a tentative or maybe
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  • Lotisle
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Lotisle ·
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    Good point! Thanks for the suggestions. I guess for now they will be on the maybe list. I'm still on the fence. My mom raised me to be kind no matter the situation, but I see the hurt in my husband's face and they make me angry over their rudeness.
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  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
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    Two years is a long time- things may definitely change between now and then. Also, I feel this is ultimately his decision, not yours. When it comes time to finalize the guest list, ask your husband.
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  • C
    Super January 2020
    Cassie ·
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    I would invite them. Just think of it this way, if his brother hadn’t just got married and left you guys off the invite list this would not inviting him even be a consideration? Probably not, so be the bigger person put your hurt feelings aside and invite them.
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  • Shannon
    Expert June 2021
    Shannon ·
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    I’d lean toward what you would do if this incident didn’t happen and do that. My brother will not be invited. I haven’t spoken to him for for than 10 minutes in 10 years. I’m okay not inviting family, but I’d be careful in your situation.
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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    I am so sorry. The bigger issue to me is WHY was DH not invited. This is best resolved, in my humble opinion, with DH calling his bro and saying lets have coffee and talk

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I wouldn't even make this decision until MUCH closer to the wedding, things can change a lot in 2 years.

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