C
Just Said Yes July 2023

Where to have the wedding? He's from India, i am from Norway.

Caroline, on June 20, 2021 at 11:17 AM Posted in Planning 0 6
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This is gonna be a long one. First, a little background information.. I am Norwegian, he is half Norwegian (mother) and half Indian (father). Me and my fiancé lives in Norway. So does my family, his parents, and his maternal family, which is quite small. His paternal family lives in India - it is big, but they don't have a lot of money. We have not set a wedding date yet, and we don't feel any necessity to rush the process either.

So the question is, how are we going to arrange this? Have one wedding? If so, in India or Norway? Or have two weddings?

My fiancé wants to have a traditional Indian wedding, but wouldn't be too mad if we only can have a traditional Western one. He'd prefer that if he could choose, but he understands that it might not work. I have the same mindset but with opposite cultures: I'd prefer a traditional Western one, but wouldn't be mad if we'd have an Indian. We could afford to have two weddings, but then both would've been mediocre instead of having one extravagant. Flying his Indian family to Norway is not an option since no one can afford it. Flying my Norwegian family to India could've worked better, but again not everyone could've afforded it, but more than the opposite way round. But we also have the practical aspect of it. Me and my fiancé lives in Norway, and obviously it would be so much harder to plan a wedding on the opposite side of the world than where we live. And even though my family can better afford to travel, it isn't that practical to schedule and fly a whole family across the world anyways. Norway to India is a long way.

So what advice can you guys give me? Thanks in advance from a lost couple.

6 Comments

Latest activity by SHY, on June 23, 2021 at 11:49 AM
  • Piper
    Dedicated April 2022
    Piper ·
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    Hi Caro!

    In this situation, I would tell my fiancé: " let's have 2 weddings" . If it means no extravagant,lavish, fairytale-like wedding, so be it.

    Don't forget that a marriage is more important than a wedding.

    Having 2 'simple' weddings in front of all family members is better, in my humble opinion, than 1 extravagant but some family can't be there.

    Especially since you and your fiancé can afford 2 simple weddings and not all family members can afford a destination wedding in India or in Norway.

    In fact, to be honest: I'm not the type of girl who wants a dream, fancy wedding and who has been dreaming of it since I was born so my opinion is biased... My fiance and I even considered the idea of eloping.

    If you couldn't afford 2 weddings it would have been another story, though.

    Good luck!

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  • C
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Caroline ·
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    Thank you so much for advice! It really helps to put things in perspective. I've always wanted a lavish wedding, but I think including all family is the most important thing. It is a celebration of family and therefore all family should be included. I don't think neither me or my fiancé would be able to make such a choice to only have one wedding and where/who. Again, thank you!

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  • Natalie
    Expert November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    It sounds like you and 3/4 of family are in Norway, so it seems most logical to have the wedding there. I would plan your wedding with a combination of western and Indian traditions. If you are unable to find a way to get his other family members to Norway, set it up so they can watch virtually!
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  • C
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Caroline ·
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    Technically 3/4 of our family lives in Norway, but realistically when thought in quantity, thats more than half of our family since his Indian family is so big and our Norwegian ones so small. Having a virtual wedding might be difficult because of the time zones - but it could work. Also, I think it'd make more sense to have a combined Western/Indian wedding if more Indians were present than just his father. The traditions and cultures are very different also, so it's going to be a challenge combining them. But we will think about this and discuss it further. Thank you so much for your inputs nonetheless! We appreciate it.

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  • Natalie
    Expert November 2020
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    Hmmm... you mention that you cannot afford to fly his entire Indian family to Norway. Would you be able to help fly the ones he is closest to to Norway, such as his grandparents? Since a live virtual wedding would be difficult because of time zones, it could be recorded and shown at a time more convenient for those in India. Another option would be traveling to India for your honeymoon or for an anniversary trip to either do a vow renewal or celebration there, too!
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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
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    If you can afford to have two, then I'd do that!

    I'm not big on having things being super grand and extravagant, so that's a reason why I would suggest having 2 more toned down weddings. That way both sides of the family will be able to attend and celebrate you both, plus you get the western wedding AND the Indian wedding that you both want!

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