Where should my parents sit at the wedding?

I think you did something wrong: the fact of showing it to mom and discussing this with her!

I do think that couples shouldn't show it to anyone exactly because there will always be someone who will complain. Your mom is a good proof. Tge only exception is the wedding party to let them know if you're doing a head or sweerheart. Because we are not having a WP, we know we will not tell anything to anyone about our seating chart. If people ask what we're planning to do :"You'll find out on the day of" .

As for where your parents should sit, the answer is simple: if they're not at the head table, they should be on a 'regular' table, those that are the closest to the HT, and to appease mom, let her pick who she wants to be with, tell her "this is a table of 8,10 or whatever the number is and let her pick who will sit at her table.

I totally understand why mom doesn't want to spend time with your in-laws. Movies and tv shows make us believe that both sets of parents want to get to know each other, want to spend as much time as possible together and have 1 billion questions for each other... which is totally false for the majority of people . Parents usually spend time with their own family and that's it. The in-laws are important to you and your guy, not to your parents nor your fiancé's .

First of all, she should not have freaked out…just give her a table near yours with her people & she should be fine…I have never seen parents seated at the head table & think it would be awkward if they were. Parents of bride & groom should be welcoming their guests & enjoying themselves while wedding party is introduced & father of bride should be getting his speech ready!

I've never seen parents at a head table but I've also never seen all the parents together at one table. At every wedding I've attended each set of parents was sat with their own family members. I'd ask your mom who she'd like at her table and do it that way.

I've also never seen parents at a head table before. I get your mom wanting to sit with her own family rather than your in-laws and the priests, but it sounds like she could have handled it better. I'd just plan to have one table with your parents/ siblings/ whoever and a separate table with your fiancé's parents/ siblings/ whoever. Like Lucy said, I wouldn't show your mom the seating chart so she doesn't have any ammo to argue over. If she asks, just say you're still working on it and change the subject. Hopefully she can be an adult the day of the wedding and not cause a scene over seating.

So, mine kind of ended up being half what we planned for and half not. We originally planned for both my parents and his parents to sit at the ends of our horseshoe head table in order to honor them. But, we also thought this would be best because if they were to sit at regular guest tables with family, we didn’t want each side of their families to think they were being partial to the other. Both my dad’s side and mom’s sides of my extended family were coming, so this was important to both me and to my parents (who I guess I’m lucky they approved of my idea) in order to avoid conflict. However on his side, most of the extended family is in Canada, and only his dad’s side ended up RSVP’ing yes (in fact, only one uncle & aunt and their adult children), so they requested that we remove them and my now-husband’s sister and her husband (they were part of our wedding party) and seat them with FIL’s brother and wife so that they could represent the family as one. With how I was about organization, details, and planning of our wedding, just for a split second, I almost got angry, but just as quickly as that thought came, I realized it didn’t really matter if they sat with guests while my parents were still at the head table. And while yes, I agree with the others about not showing your seating plan to others, I believe if your parents make a specific request, it’s not going to derail your wedding to honor it (especially if they are helping pay for things). My now-husband and I had a great time at our reception, and our parents seating choices didn’t affect that.

**Should also note, I never showed my parents-in-law the seating chart. They came to us directly unprompted and made that request to us as we were getting ready to start working on it.

I agree that I've never seen parents at a head table before - just the wedding party + the couple. I'd ask each set of parents who they'd want to sit with and work from there. I made our seating chart without my parents' input - I knew my siblings and cousins would love to sit at a table together, so I put them at one and my parents and uncles + aunts at another (all my dad's side) and my mom was annoyed to be seated with them *again* instead of guests from her side of the family (who were at a 3rd table). So I'd definitely ask for their input, but it's ultimately up to you guys where everyone sits!

They should be at a table with your in laws and there wife or husband. Then his other siblings and nephews and nieces will be sitting at another. Your mom should know this already that the parents dont sit at the head table with the wedding party. Mines nor his will be either and we will have our own table and have a head table for our wedding party

My parents would not have wanted to sit with my IL's at my wedding, that seems weird to me. I put them with their family that they're closest to - my grandma and my mom's siblings/spouses. IL's sat with similar people from their side. I would force your parents to socialize with your IL's (even if they get along, they're likely not besties and all parents would probably rather sit with their respective families)

I don't think I've ever seen parents seated at the head table (unless they were part of the wedding party). In the weddings I've been a guest at, it's much more common to seat the bride's and groom's parents at separate tables with their own families. She will be over the moon that day and want to visit and socialize with her own loved ones, rather than have forced socialization with his parents.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the feedback! Your points are fair, just for overall clarification (I’m mot targeting you but I do love how informational your comment is) my mom is helping me plan my wedding so showing her the tentative seating chart as it was a necessary evil in regards to some other planning that was being discussed.


I’ll keep everything in mind and chat with my fiancé. Thank you!

Yeah I’ve never seen parents sat at the head table. We’re doing a sweetheart table so our wedding party members can sit with their partners and their partners don’t have to sit alone. And our parents are sitting with their own family members. They wouldn’t want to sit together

I think each group should sit with their own family members - they can mingle after! Good luck - I am still struggling with seating chart

I have never seen parents sitting at a head table so I'm confused as to why she's freaking out. I can see where she might want to sit with other family members she knows and friends as opposed to his family who she might not know as well. Either way, its not her wedding and she needs to get over it. You theoretically only sit at a wedding for an hour or two anyway for dinner and speeches