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Just Said Yes May 2018

Where oh Where is My Wedding Video?!

Elisabeth, on July 11, 2019 at 1:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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I got married 5/25/18. We were trying to do a bunch of stuff on the cheap, so I asked a work friend in film school if she would feel comfortable doing a wedding. She said yes and offered me a quote, but we ultimately decided it wasn’t in our budget. My boss got wind of this and hired her as a wedding gift to me.

She didn’t show to our rehearsal, and hadn’t had time the week before to meet with me, so she had a lot of questions for me the day of the wedding. That was fine.

But after the wedding, I heard nothing. We didn’t have a contract in place, and I wasn’t sure how long wedding video normally takes, so I waited patiently. 3 months later, I inquired about whether or not it might be ready for out dating-anniversary (9/20/18). She said she could have the ceremony ready by then, and I accepted. The ceremony video looks beautiful! She said she could get me the rest soon, and that the hold up was a computer crash. The original footage was fine, but the work in progress was deleted. Fine.

I asked her in December if it would be ready by Christmas and was ignored. I asked again in January, and this is when I was told that there were some quality issues with the reception footage - she wasn’t aware they were going to dim the lights for our first dance, and she didn’t know my sister was going to be singing for it. I asked her what the next steps were, and she assured me that she was working on it.

I asked again in March, nothing. In May I reminded her about my one year anniversary. Nothing. End of June I had enough and I sent her a firm message saying I needed answers, and if it was a quality issue maybe we could work it out together. She said I would have the raw footage by Wednesday (I assumed 7/3, but waited until 7/10 just in case). At this point it’s been almost 14 months since my wedding. I wanted edited video from her, not raw footage, but she didn’t even send me that. In the meantime, she’s producing a weekly podcast with another friend (a for fun thing, not a paid thing) when I feel like she should be working on my video.

She’s my friend. There was no contract. I wasn’t the one who hired or paid her.

How do I proceed? Is it acceptable to ask her to refund someone else? Is there a way to handle this without damaging our friendship? Please help. At this point, any advice is welcome.

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10 Comments

Latest activity by D, on July 11, 2019 at 8:03 PM

Master August 2019
Allie · on July 11, 2019 at 1:30 PM
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It sounds like she lost the footage to me. I don't think you can ask her to refund someone else since it was a gift. I would keep pushing to try to get the raw footage and have someone else edit. That is way too long.
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Super July 2019
Rachel · on July 11, 2019 at 1:41 PM
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This is ridiculous and unprofessional! She was paid by someone to do a job and she hasn’t done anything in over a year?! At this point she needs to refund the person who paid her.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on July 11, 2019 at 1:41 PM
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I agree with PP, if the boss wants a refund, they should ask for it. I would keep pushing for the raw footage as well. It sounds kind of fishy that she keeps making excuses.
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Just Said Yes May 2018
Elisabeth · on July 11, 2019 at 1:47 PM
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I should probably add... she wasn’t paid $100 or $200, she was paid $600 even though she hadn’t done a wedding before. This isn’t a small amount of money.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 11, 2019 at 1:49 PM
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I'd ask the boss if she had a contract of any sort and if the boss wants a refund because you're clearly uncomfortable with the way this has been handled.
Overall this is way too long. Id stop speaking the girl as a friend until until she provides an answer.
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Just Said Yes May 2018
Elisabeth · on July 11, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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I asked my former boss to get involved, since she’s the one who paid. She feels terrible about the situation, which makes me feel terrible and all around, it’s just terrible. There was no contract made, unfortunately. I told her she should ask for her money back, but she’s more concerned with me getting the video than anything else. Which I greatly appreciate. I haven’t seen this friend socially in a few months. Ideally I’d like our personal relationship to be separate from this mess, but I can’t help expressing how hurt I feel by it.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on July 11, 2019 at 2:12 PM
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You wanted edited footage, but is that what was discussed and what she was paid for? I can understand your frustration but I think the tricky part in here is that she was paid without a contract stipulating what she was being paid for and you’ve received at least some edited video. I know $600 isn’t cheap, but in some parts of the country you can’t even get a student for that amount. I would reach out again just telling her that you want the raw footage. I wouldn’t ask for a refund on behalf of your old boss. That should be between them since you weren’t involved in that transaction.
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Expert June 2019
MrsJohansson · on July 11, 2019 at 2:15 PM
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Since your boss paid, has she also asked about the status? I agree with another poster that she probably lost footage or produced something really embarrassing and is being egotistical/a coward. I am sorry this has happened but I would move on. I don't think you are going to get anything and she clearly doesn't care enough about you, the friendship or the product to communicate properly. The moment you used this person as a "professional" was the moment where if it went bad, there would be no friendship. I don't think you two have a friendship anymore.. friends and professionals don't hide when something goes wrong. They work it out. Really sorry!
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Just Said Yes May 2018
Elisabeth · on July 11, 2019 at 2:28 PM
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Yes, there was no contract, but it was absolutely understood that I would be receiving edited footage. She has indicated several times that she is working on editing it, or lost her work in progress and had to start editing over. I did ask for just the raw footage as well, and have still been ignored. It really hurts to think that I’ll never see the rest of the footage.
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Super July 2020
D · on July 11, 2019 at 8:03 PM
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Ask her straight up if she has the raw footage. If not she needs to give a partial payment back to your boss. Through documented email there is a case for small claims if your former boss chooses to peruse it. She was paid in full and only produced a portion of the service. Even without a formal contract she acknowledges what is missing in the emails. That's enough evidence.
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