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Devoted July 2019

Where do you put the head table's dates?

Lexi, on February 6, 2018 at 10:52 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 19

We are doing a head table with our wedding party but not sure where to put there dates? I've been told have the dates sit next to them at the head table but the table only seats 10 people and we have 10 people in our wedding party. Where should we put them? A separate table for all the wedding party's +1 or?? What are you doing for this?

19 Comments

Latest activity by Sasha, on February 11, 2018 at 4:42 PM
  • Teresa
    Super September 2018
    Teresa ·
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    We are letting our wedding party sit with their dates. We have a sweetheart table and then closest to that will be 2 "head tables" with the WP and families.
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  • Maria
    Dedicated October 2018
    Maria ·
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    My plan is to put the dates of our wedding party at the same table. There are only three of them so I will add my ushers (who are my brother and cousin) and my remaining cousins at the table. They will meet the ushers the day before at the rehersal dinner, so it should make it more comfortable for them.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    You should let your WP sit with their dates. Do two tables of WP so that everyone can sit with the person they brought.

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  • L
    Devoted July 2019
    Lexi ·
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    That may be hard to have the wedding party sit with there dates because we only have one long table that seats up to 10. We have exactly 10 in our wedding party. All the other tables we have are round tables that seat up to 8 people.

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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    No one wants to sit alone. Sit them with their dates. And if that doesn't work for your current set up, then you need to revisit where you and your spouse will be sitting. It is not fun for the 'date' to be apart, been there, done that. I would decline doing it again!

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  • E&M
    Master July 2016
    E&M ·
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    I like LB's idea. Groomsmen with their dates at one table and bridesmaids with their dates at another table.

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  • Steph N.
    Super October 2018
    Steph N. ·
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    I like this idea too. I think splitting your WP from their dates is kind of crappy.


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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    You should do a sweetheart table with just you and your spouse, and then let your wedding party members sit at another table with their SO's. If you have a large party, you can do one for bridesmaids and their SO's/dates, and another table for groomsmen and their SO's/dates.

    That's what we did and it worked very nicely. I've never been to a wedding with a head table, and most people don't do them these days, they choose sweetheart tables. It's also very rude to separate your wedding party from their SO's for dinner, especially if the SO doesn't know anyone else at the wedding.

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  • Amanda
    Super May 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Agree with PP's. I was in a wedding last year where the head table only included the bridal party while my fiance sat at the back of the room and knew no one. I ended up moving and sitting with him after we ate because I felt bad that he was uncomfortable.

    For this reason, we are doing a sweetheart table and sitting the BM's with their dates at one table and GM and their dates at another. If you want to do a head table, than you'll need to find a way accommodate your BP's SO's as well and if it's too small, than a sweetheart table would be a better solution.

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Dates should sit with their dates. Lots of good options in the post— a larger table for everyone, dividing the WP into 2 tables with dates, doing a sweetheart table with just the 2 of you and the WP at other tables with their dates.

    Head tables are awkward and discouraged for this reason. It is terrible to be the plus one of a WP member who has to sit somewhere by themselves. I had this happen to me once and I will say it was one of the most memorably awkward moments of my last 5 years. I knew exactly : the bride, her parents, and my date in the WP. I traveled to get to the wedding and when I walked in I basically didn’t have a seat. There was a head table with WP, that had KIND OF worked out bc most of the WP were couples with each other. Except me. The moment I walked into the reception area was like a middle school lunchroom flashback. It was....not fun, to say the least. It ended up kind of working out eventually because one of the BMs kind of peaced out to go sit with her fam/friends once the formalities were over so I kinda of smuggled my way into her seat. But I still feel anxious honking about it.
    ...it was in like 2015 😐
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  • caitlin
    Super May 2017
    caitlin ·
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    Agree with PPs that you shouldn't split up the WP and their dates. i've been separated from my partner because of this at weddings and it sucks. i like the idea of 2 "head" tables near each other. (personally, we did unassigned seating at our wedding, but i know that's an unpopular opinion here and for sure a personal choice!)

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  • Morgan
    Devoted June 2018
    Morgan ·
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    I'm organizing my seating chart by people who know each other, so the whole bridal party will be sitting with the group they know. For example, one of my bridesmaids is a friend from college, so she will be at the table with my college friends. Another bridesmaid is a high school friend so she will be with my high school friends. I'm all about the guest experience.

    That being said if you already have everything set up and you must split up the dates, I recommend seating them with people they know (if possible).

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  • Cassie
    Super April 2018
    Cassie ·
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    I went to one wedding where my FW was part of the bridal party. They did a head table. No SO's. Luckily this was with a group that I was friends with a lot of people so the couple sat me with all my friends. I was ok not sitting next to my FW since I was good friends with everyone at my table, though it still would have been nice to sit next to her. It sucked not being able to chat with her during dinner, etc. However, if that was a wedding where I hardly knew anyone, I would have felt EXTREMELY awkward sitting at a table with strangers.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    Head tables are still seen here.

    Another alternative would be to include your MOH, her SO, Best Man and SO, and the two of you, equalling 6. There would be room to add your parents.

    The rest of the wedding party could be seated elsewhere.

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  • ET
    Devoted March 2018
    ET ·
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    Since you have seats for 10 at your head table, maybe a good compromise would be to just ask your MOH and Best Man and their dates to sit with you, along with your two sets of parents/dates. Then the rest of the BP could sit with their dates and be separated into two of those 8-top tables. It really sucks being the excluded date, especially in situations where the person being excluded doesn't know anyone else at the reception. We are doing a sweetheart table for this exact reason. We want everyone to have a good time, not just us.

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  • BB-H
    VIP September 2018
    BB-H ·
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    PPs mentioned lots of great ways to make sure your WP is seated with their dates. I know that it can be difficult and not everyone likes a sweetheart table, but these are people that are standing with you at your wedding, they should be allowed to sit with their dates.

    We're doing a sweetheart table partially for this reason. When a friend of mine got married and I was in the BP, and while my FH (BF at the time) was invited too, he had to sit with my parents (whom he barely knew at the time) and didn't know anyone else. So I was constantly up and down checking on him and them from the head table. It worked out because him and my parents got along, but I felt so bad.

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  • FinallyMrsFlax
    Super August 2017
    FinallyMrsFlax ·
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    We did a sweetheart table and then sat our wedding party and their dates at tables near ours. I ended up loving just sitting with my husband at dinner. It was like a private dinner just for the two of us.
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  • BrandiWeds18
    VIP May 2019
    BrandiWeds18 ·
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    They can give you more long tables? Its a good rule of thumb to have them sit with their guest. From a few weddings ive gone to they have all been head tables with their significant others/dates sitting at separate tables with people they know. Generally i've never heard it be an issue as nobody was sitting at the head table after dinner anyway, everyone moved around to the dance floor or popped a chair at another table. But the best option is definitely to sit them together at the long tables and you can do a sweetheart table. Or get longer tables or add chairs to the other side of the table so everyone can sit. I don't have this problem because only 2 of my bridal party members are in relationships so i dont have as many people to need to accommodate

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  • S
    Savvy August 2019
    Sasha ·
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    These are helpful tips
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