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Haley
Expert October 2020

When to stop adding to the guest list....

Haley, on July 9, 2019 at 12:53 PM Posted in Planning 0 13

I'm still over a year away from the wedding but I want to send out my STD in Jan. (again, I realize this is 5 months away)

When did you stop adding to the guest list?

If you recently made new friends you feel like you should invite, but they aren't in your original guest count estimation, did you add them?

Or did you leave some wiggle room in your guest list for last minute entries?


We are at 115 right now and I really don't want to go over that by too much, like i'd be ok inviting 120 because I'm sure some people will RSVP no.


In case you're curious, FH has recently taken our friends 18 y/o brother under his wing at work and now I feel like he's probably going to want to invite him but he's not on our original guest list. Also I feel like I'd have to give him a plus 1 because he's over 18. I'm not the biggest fan of him mostly because I think he's a little awkward and weird and like "little brother" annoying but nothings actually wrong with him. (And I don't mean that to sound rude, he had a weird upbringing and he's just very shy and socially awkward)

13 Comments

Latest activity by 2d Bride, on July 9, 2019 at 3:58 PM
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    We had a hard limit on how many guests we could invite because the venue capacity is 95. We invited 100 knowing that a few were definitely not going to make it because of health reasons. FH added about 5 extra people after even save the dates were sent out. His justification is always that most of his family won't be able to come. So, its annoying but it happens.

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  • Katie
    Devoted August 2019
    Katie ·
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    FH and I are getting married next month and we added the last two people to our guest list about 2 months ago. We sent out STDs in January to about 120 guests, and our final list was 151 guests. Not everyone who was invited received a Save the Date and that is okay. I wouldn't bet on too many people saying no though. Try to stick to your guns around a rough number (if you have the wiggle room at the venue and in your budget).
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  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    That makes me feel better. 1 person shouldn't really be an issue if we decide to add them after the fact. But you're right, definitely need to try to stick with the guest list.

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  • Katie
    Devoted August 2019
    Katie ·
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    Yes! With the Save the Dates, it helped me to remember that they're most helpful for people who are out of town or work in a field that is difficult to take time off from. Because of that, they're more a courtesy than a necessity!
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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    If there are people you are questioning too, they don't have to get a save the date.. you could just send them an invite and skip the std.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If I made a new friend right now, we wouldn’t be close enough for me to consider inviting them to my wedding.
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  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
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    We started with a definitive cut off - without any wiggle room for RSVP 'no's. We also included a plus one for any guest who wasn't already a couple. That way there were no surprises that had to be finagled later on.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    Daughter specifically ONLY sent STDs to family, OOT guests, and VIPs -- probably only about 65% of the guest list. She and SIL are part of a huge, local "friend group"; in that group, she only sent STDs to those in the wedding party. That gave her some wiggle room as it got closer to when the invitations needed to go out. She ended up dropping some non-STD people they hadn't seen much in the prior 4-5 months (the time since the STDs were sent) and adding co-workers & her boss who she'd grown very close to (and had been incredibly supportive/generous about time off, etc., related to the wedding). I'd strongly encourage leaving yourself wiggle room -- STDs are not required, and they are certainly not required for every guest.

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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    We didn't decide what friends to invite until close to the wedding. Before we booked our venue we wrote a guest list of family that we knew we'd definitely invite and left space in the guest list for friends. We sent save the dates to family and the bridal party 11 months in advance since we were having a Friday wedding. We waited until under 6 months away to decide on what non bridal party friends to invite.

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  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    Good advice! Thank you!

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  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    This is a good plan!

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  • Michelle
    Super August 2019
    Michelle ·
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    We have a limit of 160 for our venue so we needed to invite 130 people or less to make sure our wedding party and there SO fit. We ended up with 123 invited. There were 2 people that we had originally not put on the list then felt bad because they are really good friends so we sent them one. We've received 3 nos back (6 people) so it worked out. Like PP said, stick to a number as best you can. Adding 1 or 2 people won't make much difference especially if you aren't at your max yet but I wouldn't add anyone else.
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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I would not send STDs to anyone you're not absolutely sure you want there. You can send an invitation to someone to whom you did not send an STD. But you can't decide not to invite anyone to whom you already sent an STD.

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