When to Send Thank Yous?

We have been receiving gifts for the past month (since our invites went out) and I just had my bridal shower. So I'm sending thank you cards this weekend for the shower & all the gifts we have received so far. I don't want to wait until after the wedding since that will be 2+ months from when they sent it.

You can absolutely start sending them as soon as you receive any gifts. It makes it way easier than writing and sending them all after the wedding, too.

I believe etiquette is to send them now rather than wait until after the wedding!

Thank you everyone! So if I send a Thank You now for the gift they gave us, would we also send a Thank You to them after the wedding- to thank them for coming?

View Quoted Comment You would only send another after the wedding if they brought another gift to the wedding. You don’t need to send a thank you for people that just attend.

View Quoted Comment I’m sending them as I get them and I’m not sending them to people for coming. I don’t think it’s necessary but I also don’t know if I’ll be able to tell for sure who all was definitely at my wedding so I wouldn’t want to leave anyone out!

I think it's definitely their choice if they send a gift this many months in advance. I received a few registry items 3 months before and decided not to send a thank-you just yet. I did however start a spreadsheet (we're using theknot.com for our website and they have a gift tracker on there) listing who sent the gift, when they sent it, and what I received. I think guests send gifts this early mostly because they think they'd otherwise forget to send one. If you feel inclined to thank them right away then it's fine to send them a message or even mail a personalized note but I don't think they will be expecting you to be writing cards in the middle of the craziness that is wedding planning.

Proper etiquette is to send a thank you give as soon as the gift is received. Early gifts, early. There are times when gifts are not delivered, though company says they are, but they were sent elsewhere by error. And many times there is a limited time to get money back for poor quality goods, or damage in delivery. So your immediate thank you tells the sender it arrived, and you checked it's condition, as well as that you are pleased by the gift. . . . It is expected that you send no notes for gifts received the week before the wedding, or during the honeymoon. But thank you notes for all items received earlier than one week before the wedding, should be written before the wedding.

We are also getting married in the end of September and I'm thinking about waiting until December to send out the thank yous with our Christmas cards. This way FH and I have time to enjoy our honeymoon right after the wedding and settle in to married life without having to rush right into the thanks yous. We usually send our Christmas cards the beginning of December so that will be about 2 months after the wedding.

However, the gifts I receive at my bridal shower (August 10th) those thank yous will be sent out immediately after.

I've heard the general rule of thumb is to send out a thank-you within a week or two, for each time you receive a gift. If you get a pre-wedding or shower gift, get the thank you send within that two-week time frame. If you get another gift from the same person at your wedding, send them another with the rest of your wedding thank yous.

Bonus of sending quickly after receiving? It's one less thing to have to think about later!

View Quoted Comment Most of your gift givers will think this is very bad manners. In any etiquette, not just weddings, even for a dinner, a birthday or Christmas or other gift, thank you notes should be written no more than 2 weeks after the gift is received. In weddings, that applies to any gift given up to a week before the wedding. Then the clock is stopped until after the end of the honeymoon, if taken right after the wedding. Then no more than 2 weeks for gifts received the week before and at the wedding. For gifts after the wedding ( perfectly okay for gifts to be given or delivered them,) send notes immediately after received, within 2 weeks. To send none from a September wedding until December with Christmas cards is terribly late. If I did not receive a thank you for 2 to 3 months for a gift before, at, or immediately after a wedding, there would be no holiday gifts, and no holiday party or dinner invitations for someone so impolite they had not sent any thank you in October. If someone cannot be bothered to say, in a note , thank you for a gift I spent $50-$300 on, I figure they are not the kind of people I want to spend time or money on again. Please reconsider. Take 5 minutes per gift, and both of you sit down and write notes immediately after received. Do not use or spend any gift until the thank you is in the mail. Think of how irritated most brides feel when a person cannot be bothered to fill out an Rsvp and mail it. Please do mot be equally rude with not sending timely thank you notes. It really does annoy people. After working hard to create a wonderful wedding and party, start off your marriage by sending the message you are a polite couple with good social manners.