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Summer
Dedicated April 2019

When to send elopement announcements?

Summer, on December 29, 2018 at 12:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21
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We are eloping on April 1, 2019. Do we send the announcements before or after we have officially been married? I was thinking of sending them out mid April but I'm afraid friends and family will think they are an afterthought by us not letting them know in advance.

Is there proper etiquette for elopement announcements since elopement is out of the norm? What about the wording on the announcements? I've attached a rough draft of the announcement we plan on using.

Thank you! Smiley heart

When to send elopement announcements? 1

21 Comments

Latest activity by Summer, on December 29, 2018 at 7:43 PM
  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
    • Flag
    So are you planning on throwing a celebration afterwards?
    • Reply
  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    At this moment, I do not plan on having a post-marriage celebration. Family is scattered across the state and country quite a bit. Plus, to be honest, there really is not many family members that I actively see, so I nor my FH have the desire to have such a celebration.
    • Reply
  • Sunshine
    Expert January 2019
    Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    If you’re sending an elopement announcement you’d send it afterwards to let people know you got married. And it’s just basically say that you eloped, the date and maybe where you got married. Yours makes it sound like they might be invited to something because you’re saying “share the marriage.” I dont think you need to talk about sharing the day with only each other because the word “elope” conveys that.
    • Reply
  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Exactly this.
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  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    Maybe change share to "We are pleased to announce" instead?

    I put in the lower part saying that we appreciate them because (1) we are not actually saying the word elope anywhere on the announcement and (2) we want them to know that it was just the two of us, not that other people were invited and they were not. To make sure they understand we just wanted it to be between the two of us and that we appreciate them and weren't trying to hurt their feelings in anyway.
    • Reply
  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    I would look up text for marriage announcements and stick with that verbiage. The stuff below your names is unneccessary and a bit awkward because you basically apologizing for why you eloped and did not invite anyone and trying to explain away your decision. You have made the decision, it is what you want, own it and announce your marriage. You do not owe anyone an explanation.

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  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    The explanation was actually pulled from elopement announcements that I found on Etsy.

    Would it sound better if it just said that we appreciate their love and support over the years or should I not say anything like that at all?

    If I don't use anything else, all that will be on the announcement is the date we got married and where, which if that's all it is going to say, I feel like it's a waste of time and money to even send them out.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    Agree with going with a more traditional announcement wording -- the draft you've included here is awkward. You can have the announcements all prepared and then either drop them in the mail yourselves or have someone do it for you immediately following the ceremony.

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  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    Well I am glad to know the wording is awkward before I ordered these lol.

    I just feel like something is missing in a normal announcement style since there will be no mention of a date and time for a celebration, ya know? Otherwise, the announcement just sounds incomplete to me, so I don't know how to fix it.
    • Reply
  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    This better? Alignment is off but you get the idea. It just seems like there isn't enough information on the announcement, like it is missing something, I just don't know what lol.
    • Reply
  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    It would help if I actually attached the image.

    When to send elopement announcements? 2
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  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    That is better, if you want to personalize it a little more you could say "We would like to share the announcement of our marriage"

    I think that adding, "Thank you for your love and support" at the bottom is fine. Plus it may make it feel more personal which I feel like is what you are worried is missing.

    • Reply
  • Sunshine
    Expert January 2019
    Sunshine ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I totally agree with this, I couldn’t find the right words to say it, but this is how it made me feel as well. And as for the second one, are most of your friends and family not on social media and that’s why you’re sending them?
    • Reply
  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    I'm not on social media so that's why I would send them. But honestly, I kind of feel like the only reason I am sending them is because I think the announcement itself is pretty lol. We are eloping because we always wanted it to just be between the two of us and we dont care to invite and pay for people we dont see that much and aren't very close too.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    If you're not really close to the people you'll be sending them to, and aren't on social media, you may just want to skip them entirely. There is a perception that announcements are kind of "fishing for a gift" from people who weren't invited to the wedding. Especially if you don't have a close relationship with the people you're considering sending them too, it might come off as odd and, possibly, self-serving. Sending them out primarily because you think they are pretty is an interesting motivation. You can always just order a very small quantity and send them to your truly close friends and family, rather than casting a wider net.

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    This looks good! Though, I think it may actually be nice to send it either as a photo card with a picture from your wedding, or to at least include a photo in there!
    • Reply
  • Mrs.strickland
    Dedicated March 2019
    Mrs.strickland ·
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    I like the original better but change it to announce instead of share like you already mentioned. everything else sounds fine to me.
    dont overthink too much cause it will drive you crazy. lol
    • Reply
  • Keary
    Expert May 2019
    Keary ·
    • Flag
    We're eloping too. I like the idea of sending an announcement instead of just posting on social media. We're going to take a pic with a banner that says "Mr and Mrs" and use that to make cards. My family likes to have something to frame/ put on the fridge so this works for us. I like the revised wording on yours!
    • Reply
  • Summer
    Dedicated April 2019
    Summer ·
    • Flag
    I have the option of adding a photo to the back of the announcement. I may do that but idk, I'm not huge on pictures lol.

    The reason I thought I should send announcements to everyone is that, although our family doesn't get together a lot, if there's a big event, we always send out cards. That's why I sent out announcements for my undergrad and Master degree graduations to everyone. I think we have an understanding that we aren't fishing for funds or gifts, just trying to keep everyone in the loop.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Just follow standard wedding announcement format. No need to refer to the fact you eloped, or anything about the wedding at all. And these are always sent shortly after the actual marriage, never before.
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