When to Give Away the Bride?

Ask him. That sounds more like the I do as in when the officiant asks who presents this woman to marry this man, your dad says "I do" or "her mother and I do", then he sits down.

ETA but I am in no way religious and am just guessing here lol so definitely ask the guy! or hopefully other people here can help better than I can.

He wrote it all out so it's definitely our I Dos before the giving away of the bride. In my search for the answer, I found Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding program and it was outlined the same. That's what made me think it might be something super traditional and formal.

I just saw this on an episode of Four Weddings. I don't recall if it was a Baptist ceremony or not, but it was out of order from what I'm used to (catholic).

When I do a 'statement of support by the parents"" (we don't give brides away......) that comes before the 'statement of intent" by the couple, but honestly, I don't think it matters.

The 'declaration of consent' is not the 'i do's' ; those would be the vows and they come later.

That is 100% correct. The declaration of consent outlines why you are gathered. You and FH legally consent to being married during the ceremony and are coming to be married without being forced into it. Then, the minister should do the "who gives/presents this woman to be united in holy matrimony" part. Then you leave your dad and go up the altar with your FH and the minister. You will actually state your vows later in the ceremony (or you can redo the I do part if you don't want to actually say your vows) before you exchange rings.

Movies are the only place where people say "I do" one time in the church and they're magically married! The consent part at the beginning is really, really important. Sometimes the consent part is done without microphones since it's just the minister that needs to hear it, so some guests may not realize it's happening. I've never been to a wedding in any mainline Protestant church that started differently

So this is correct, but I don't love the order either Talk to your pastor and see if they are comfortable moving it earlier! They might be willing to change up the order a little bit, or not - but it doesn't hurt to ask

My father walked me down the aisle, handed me off and sat down. Then when the officiant asked "who presents this bride" my father said from the pew "her mother and I do".

I think the FOB normally sits when everyone else does after the processional and then stands up for the presentation (It's "who presents this woman/these persons to be married?" to get away from the whole "A woman is a thing to be transferred between men" idea .

In the Episcopalian wedding liturgy, you have the introduction, then the funny bit you see in movies about "speak now or else for ever hold your peace", then the declaration of consent which where you say the "I do's" (but in our liturgy it's "I will") then the (optional) presentation of the bride\ couple.

After that is readings, then the vows (which is only the I do part in movies), the exchanging of rings, and then the prayers.

ETA: I guess it UO, but I honestly LOVE that the presentation goes after the declaration of consent, because it makes the decision being made by the couple primary to the support/preference of the parents. A father, in this structure, could not "give" his daughter to be married without her already committing to do so herself.

ETA: Yeah, royal family= Church of England, they use the liturgy I outlined here. The Baptist church does not have any particular set ceremony they use for almost anything, so it will vary from pastor to pastor. OP your pastor is using the Anglican/Episcopalian format, which I am a huge fan of (for the obvious incredibly biased reason), but if you really don't like it, there is no reason other than your pastor's preference you couldn't ask about switching it up to something you like more. The worst thing that could happen is he says no because he is most comfortable with the way he's been doing things.

In my family/social circle the bride is escorted by both her parents, or someone who is very close to her. It's not an honor only given to a father or a male relative (sexist).

No one "gives the bride away, " either (archaic) or offers consent. If you're adult enough to get married, you don't need anyone's consent.

Our officiant said no one asks guests if anyone dissents to the marriage anymore, either.

I guess, from what I'm reading we really lucked-out, on the officiant we booked (non-denominational Protestant). I wouldn't have done most of the stuff- if required of me - I've read, on this thread.

BTW, we helped write our ceremony.

@Dreamer, most churches don't, and never did, ask about the "dissent" but it is alive and well in the Church of England and Episcopal Church., which is the form used in most movie/TV marriages. It is always included and mandatory; even in the new liturgies available for same sex marriages.

It exists, not so a romcom ex-boyfriend can declare his love for you, but because everyone comes together in support of the marriage. The only valid reasons are if one of the parties are still married or in other relationships. It retains its symbolic value in coming will all things laid out and committed entirely, with no reservations in bride or groom, or in the congregation which is the church family and basis of support for most couples who want a wedding in the Episcopal church.

The presentation on the other hand is entirely optional and has egalitarian variations.

http://www.auburn.edu/~allenkc/ulcm/wed04.html

https://www.churchpublishing.org/contentassets/104caa0c8b8741819c171f642de395a3/the_celebration_and_blessing_of_a_marriage_2.pdf

@Dreamer, actually the consent is given by the couple only and is THE most important part. It's not given by parents or anyone else, so how is it archaic? If the couple doesn't freely give their consent, the marriage isn't valid. The presentation is a choice, but hating on the statement of consent is ridiculous.

We added a statement of support from the families too, but that was given by both sides immediately after the presentation of the bride. We also wrote our ceremony based on United Methodist liturgy. My dad walked me down the aisle, but then my mom joined us at the end to flip my blusher after the presentation of the bride. Nothing sexist about it

In NJ, there is nothing I have to say, as a minister not connected to a denomination.

Mrs Ski, where are you finding your information?