When to ask your bridal party when you're having a long engagement?

I would ask about a year prior as asking too soon individuals may change their mind or circumstances.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

Congratulations on your engagement Nicole! We were also engaged for almost 2 years. I’d say 8 months to a year should be more than enough time to ask them. Are you going to do the bridesmaids boxes?

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! Yes, I am! I almost think that putting them together is what I’m most excited about haha

View Quoted Comment Lol - yessss!! Do you already have some ideas?

I asked my sister to be my MOH soon after I got engaged, 3 years in advance. I don't regret it at all. I'm over a year out and have started wedding party proposals. I'm still happy with my choices.

I'm having a long engagement of about 2 years. I think anywhere from 6-12 months is a good time frame. I'll be asking in the next couple of months which is about 10-11 months in advance.

View Quoted Comment Lol! I have some ideas but I’m still trying to find more inspiration since I know I have so much time haha. I’d be happy to see some ideas if you (or anyone else) want to share!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I think I might do the same thing. I want to ask my sister to be my MOH right away, and my two cousins who live outside of the country since they’d be the two most likely to have commitment restraints. Maybe I’ll do that and then wait a year for the rest of the bridal party.


Thanks again!

View Quoted Comment I love cups/mugs/glasses/ water bottles. Here are some that I found.

View Quoted Comment So cute! That’s just like what I had in mind 🥰

View Quoted Comment Yayyy! Happy planning Nicole!

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Thank you, Imani! Happy planning to you too

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My sister was really excited that I didn't wait to ask her. It meant a lot to her. It also gives her and the others plenty of time to save and plan for travel and attire. As for proposal boxes I'm giving each person: a bottle of wine, a book I think the person would like, a succulent, a candle, and cookies that say "will you be my bridesmaid/man".

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!

If you do a search for this topic on the forum, there are many horror stories from brides who asked 12-24 months before the wedding and they want to keep the friendship but lose the bridesmaid, it doesn’t work that way because the wrong people are asked too early. No one should be asked out of obligation to anyone. Only your current closest innermost supportive social circle should be asked to participate. It is not a role for fillers, siblings/in laws/former friends you have no relationship with.


There is nothing they need to do before 6 months before the wedding. Especially since dresses are available ready to ship online now, which is their only responsibility besides showing up on the wedding day to support you. Plus friendships change over time. Ask them in person or over the phone, without any gifts to put them on the spot to say yes, no earlier or later than 6-9 months before the wedding.

I would wait until 8 months or so before the wedding. I asked my bridesmaids right away for an 18 month engagement, and I regret it with one person in particular. As much as you want to believe that your friendships will be the same, you never know how someone might start acting when you get engaged or if you'll get closer to someone else. It's super exciting when you get engaged, and you want to celebrate with your closest friends so it's hard to hold off, but try!

I would wait at least 6 months. A lot of my friendships evolved after each stage of school for me.

It's ok to finish up your studies and then plan your wedding and 2yrs to be engaged is just fine. I have been engaged for 2 yrs as well and we are getting married this year. And yes bouncing jobs and our regular day life with our family life the time has ran quickly. And then you can start all of the wedding planning and party festivities with your wedding party when you choose them. Congratulations to you both

I got engaged 1/1/21, set the wedding for 10/7/23, asked my two friends mid February.


I have one best friend of 15 years which she can't say no I would tie her to me and make her be there. And my other friend of 12 years who I met through my fiancé. I wasnt concerned about our friendships falling out, because why would they?
On the other side I think a few posts down there's a post about unasking a bridesmaid so 🤷‍♀️