When to ask for (unpaid) time off at a new job?

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Thanks for your insight. My only concern with asking right now is that I've only been here for about 6 weeks so I haven't really formed any sort of relationship with anyone and I feel strange just bringing it up and already asking for time off. Would it be beneficial at all to wait a few more weeks and form more of a "presence" here before asking or does it really not matter? Like I said, I work for a large university. My department and my boss seem to be pretty laid back so I don't expect it to be an issue, I think I'm just worried about the overall university policies. It specifically states that you are "eligible to use or be paid for vacation after 6 months of employment." So I take the "be paid for" part as it not being a problem to ask for it unpaid but I'm really not sure. This is a really great job and very hard to get in my area so I don't want to mess it up!

I don't recommend ever discussing planned time off during interviews. It should, however, be brought up when the offer is made. I'm not going to lie, as a hiring manager I'd be annoyed if I hired someone who was asking for time off a few weeks after their start date that they knew about for many months (or longer) and did not mention previously. I wouldn't say no of course, but it would certainly impact my opinion of them going forward for some time.

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I think this makes a lot of sense, thank you! I gave a years notice right when I started my current job.

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I think that waiting until a few weeks out is more likely to rub them the wrong way than asking ASAP. I don't think the few extra weeks of building up a presence will change anything. I would send an email now to your immediate supervisors and state something like this:

Hello so and so,

As you may or may not know, I am getting married this summer on _____. As we are taking a delayed honeymoon after my six month probationary period is up, I did not mention it at the time of the offer. As the wedding is approaching, I have realized that it will extremely beneficial if I take 2-3 days off surrounding the wedding on ______. I realize that per university policy these must be unpaid, and I completely understand. I appreciate your understanding during this special experience in my life. Please let me know if this time off is accepted and if I need to formally submit the request through ______. (let them tell you on this one because if it's paid off they may not have your submit through the normal process, depends on payroll.)

Thank you in advance for your understanding.

Best,

_________

Also, let them know of your honeymoon dates ASAP. You don't want them to think that waiting until the last minute is going to be your norm for multiple days off.

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Exactly this. That's why waiting even longer isn't going to help your case here... because it'll be even more bothersome that you knew about this in advance and waited until the last minute. That's why the wording in my post above tries to play it off like you weren't planning on time off around the wedding due to your delayed honeymoon, but that you're starting to realize it's best that you take a little time to focus on the wedding.

I would ask in a little bit (the end of this month or next month?) but still sooner rather than later. When I got this job I needed time off earlier for something stupid like a concert lmao. I told them that and they allowed me to take the PTO earlier than my 6 months but no vacation early. So it just depends. Maybe they'll let you have PTO early but I really don't see why any company/boss would be pissed off they don't have to pay you, unless they're more concerned about the work getting done in your absence.

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I agree. My work would definitely still get done. I have a lot of downtime at this job and get my work done very ahead of schedule. There is also more than just me who do the same job and we work on the same things and step in when the other hasn't gotten to something so I really don't see the big deal. The person who was been training me just left to go on a vacation for two full weeks and left me to handle the whole job by myself. I've only been here for about 6 weeks and still have a ton of downtime on top of doing the job we both normally do.

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That doesn't sound bad. They should be fine with it then! Yeah I have a lot of downtime at my job too. I thought at the end of last year (long downtime from like November through January - ugh so boring) I'd try to find a new job but it didn't end up happening. Now I would run into the problem of time off just like you but I actually have a family vacation to Italy as well in June. I wanted a job that pays more but now I just don't have the energy to look/it doesn't seem wise when I get enough time off/vacation here. After the wedding I'll be looking for a new job though and I'll be able to focus on that!

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Yes it's tough because that's basically what happened to me. I got engaged in December 2017 and the job I was at I had plenty of vacation for the wedding. Then I ended up getting this job in March of this year so I knew I wasn't going to have any time for the wedding. I feel bad because I guess I should have mentioned something when they offered me the job but I honestly didn't even think of it because I knew we weren't taking a honeymoon right away anyway. Now it's hit me I'm getting married on a Sunday so I at the very least need Monday off lol

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Definitely! It happens. And I feel if the employer doesn't explicitly ask you just kind of don't mention it/slips your mind. I knew I had the concert to go to I just didn't mention it til later cuz it wasn't so close to the date I got hired it was only like a month before I was allowed all my PTO. So whatevs. Everyone is pretty laid back here too. I wouldn't worry! Your job sounds like they'll be just fine with it!

Is your date June 23? I would ask today.

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Yes it is. I was planning on asking at the end of the day today now I'm worried if I should wait until I've been here a few more weeks first. I'm so conflicted haha I just want to get it over with so I don't have to worry about it anymore and so they're aware but I also don't want to come across the wrong way. Part of me feels like a few weeks won't make that much of a difference anyway so I should just do it

View Quoted Comment I totally get that feeling of dread. But you’ll feel so much better than constantly thinking about it!

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I'm not sure why you're worried about forming a presence before asking. You're not asking a friend for a favor, you're asking your manager for time off. They're going to follow university policy as to whether allow it, or not. I suggest asking asap.

I'm also interpreting "eligible to use or be paid for vacation after 6 months of employment" differently than you. To me, that reads you are unable to use vacation time, paid or otherwise, until you have been there for 6 months. I hope I'm wrong on that, but that's what similar wording meant in jobs that I have had.

Also, many employers consider 3 unpaid days off to be short term disability, and require you to get a doctors note and fill out the STD forms to return to work. Not sure about universities, though. This was true for my husband, who's in manufacturing, and my mom, who is at a county run hospital. So, be prepared in case that is an issue.

As I said, I'd ask asap in case this isn't a slam dunk. Then you can consider what you'll do if they say no.

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Thanks for the insight. I can see the policy being interpreted that way too for sure. Also as you said, I have been worried about the fact that no matter how lenient and laid back my specific department and managers are, it is probably out of their hands and they will have to follow the overall university policy. As I said in another post, this is a really great job and one many people try to get in my area so I'm not willing to take any risks to mess anything up. I also have heard similar now that you mention it regarding 3 unpaid days being short term disability. It sounds like it may be a lot more work than what it's worth honestly. I'm thinking I may be better off just sucking it up and waiting until we take our actual honeymoon in the fall when I can use vacation time. Luckily, FH got those days off so he can handle pre and post wedding things for me.

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Well, after all my gloom and doom, I could be completely wrong about it. As long as you don't go into it with any expectations, it doesn't hurt to ask! Just remember, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you phrase it as an "I was just wondering if this is possible..." and of course say that you're getting married (Congratulations, btw!), you never know.

Good luck!

I would probably casually mention you are getting married and then put your time off request in after the 90 days. That way its not a total surprise but it also gives you time to build a relationship and prove your value. Most places offer some flexibility with life changing events... like if you found out you were prego a month after starting... Your wedding is a once in a lifetime event, whatever you choose to do I wouldn't expect it to be an issue at a major university, maybe more so if you were at the trash place my FH is at lol

I think you need to ask now to show the seriousness of your intentions to work here.