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Laura
Beginner April 2022

When To Ask Bridesmaids ...

Laura, on June 17, 2020 at 5:32 PM Posted in Planning 0 20
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...to be a bridesmaid? Do you have to have a wedding date selected before you ask? Because of coronavirus, I am likely going to plan my wedding for a couple years out - 2022. How many months in advance do you typically invite bridesmaids to be your bridesmaids? Will when you ask them change if you are having a longer engagement due to coronavirus?

20 Comments

  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica Online ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn't ask more than 12 months in advance. Your relationshios could change. There have been a lot of posts about bridal party regrets. I can tell you from experience I regret picking some of the people I did and not including my one friend.
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  • Jeanette
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeanette ·
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    We started with a 2 year engagement. I'm only asking my bridesmaids this summer, (about a year before), because I wanted to better confirm the guest list with my FH first and who he wanted for his groomsmen. And it's true, relationships can change. If my family and friends and I all lived in the same state (or even country Smiley xd ) I'd probably ask even a little bit later, but I know my closest friends want to know ASAP so they can start getting excited. Smiley star

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  • Laura
    Beginner April 2022
    Laura ·
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    Interesting! Thanks for this advice. I forgot about how much can change in a couple years. I might not even be friends with someone yet who will end up being my bridesmaid!

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  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I asked 18 months out. Relationships can certainly change, but mine didn’t change until 3-6 months before the wedding, which I definitely couldn’t predict. They needed time to make travel plans, get dresses/tuxes and asking later wouldn’t have changed any outcomes for me.
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  • Laura
    Beginner April 2022
    Laura ·
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    Yeah - if anything, I would be "adding" a new bridesmaid if I got close to someone over the next two years - the three others I am already planning on asking are future sister in laws so they likely aren't going anywhere. I guess it makes sense to wait just a little bit so it doesn't seem like I am "tacking" someone on should a close relationship form over the next 1.5 years or so.

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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I would ask closer to a year out too

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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    I would wait a few months until you have set a budget and have a date, if you don't think the relationship would change, I don't see anything wrong with asking early just make sure you have a venue/location and date set first so that way you have those details already ready to provide for them! It'll give them time purchase things if you do ask early so that's a plus!
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  • Suzie
    Super October 2020
    Suzie ·
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    Yep, exactly this!

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  • Emily
    Devoted September 2020
    Emily ·
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    I echo previous posters - the SIL I'm sure are fine, but I kind of wish I'd thought about friends who you want to plan an event with vs friends you want to stand with.


    I do love my bridesmaids, but I think I'd have been just as happy with them as guests. Another friend is being so supportive and interested in the planning, and it would've made a lot more sense for her to be in the wedding at this point. Ahh well.
    Good luck with planning!
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  • L
    Devoted July 2020
    Lindsay ·
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    I think this is your call on how close you are with the people you are asking I had no doubts about the 5 girls I asked they are my solid best friends and some I have been friends with my entire life since I was a baby so I asked them right away and we were two years out also but to me I thought it was easier that way to allow people to be aware and to take some time to plan and save but I think it depends on your relationships with the people that your asking. If you want to wait til you have a date too that can help as well!
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  • Kelli
    Savvy May 2021
    Kelli ·
    • Flag
    Agree with others relationships do change. I’m now asking my bridesmaids 11 months out because that was the biggest advice I got from MOH was to wait. Relationships do change and you want those solid friends standing next to you on that day.
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  • Nefetera
    Rockstar March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    I would want till after the engagement party and a date is picked
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I think standard from what I've seen on these forums is 6-10 months out. I asked my 9 bridesmaids 19 months out. I was too excited and couldn't handle waiting haha! I think the general consensus is the closer to the wedding you ask the person, the less likely you'll experience a change in the friendship or drama. I didn't personally any drama for the 19 month engagement but I know a lot of brides do. If I did it over again, I'd ask anywhere from 12-19 months out. When I've been a bridesmaids, I've appreciated 10+ months notice because we plan trips very far out and have a ton of friends getting married every year.

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  • Martha
    Devoted October 2022
    Martha ·
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    I agree to wait until 12 months or so before the big day, unless you know for sure ones like your sister, niece or so on, the people you know have you no matter what. I will be asking my sister to be my MOH even tho we are a long ways before I want her to be able to make the choice, research her role and see if she is up for the challenge.

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  • Chelsea
    Devoted July 2021
    Chelsea ·
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    I have a 2 year engagement and didnt ask till a year out. Friendships change and orginally I had 8 on each side and now that I finally asked we cut down to 7 on each side.. happy with my decision that i didnt put my cousin who lives in another state in it. We dont talk much but still family.. happy with my choice....

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  • Dedicated June 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    I still haven’t asked and I’m 12 months out. I have the proposal boxes and I’m just preparing them. I plan to ask them next month. I’ve had my venue and date since February. But I definitely think it’s best to wait until you have a date and venue so they know how much time they have to save or plan. Also, relationships and views of them certainly do change. When I first got engaged I had it planned to have 7 now I have 4 which are only family with the exception of a good friend of 15 years. So it’s best to wait because things change. I didn’t think they would but then it happened to me.
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  • Adrianna
    Dedicated June 2020
    Adrianna ·
    • Flag

    You should definitely wait until no more than 18 months out. There may be girls you want to ask now, but maybe later on, you don't want them to be your BM anymore lol. Trust me, I know this!

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  • Rhiamae
    Devoted February 2021
    Rhiamae ·
    • Flag

    LOL I asked my bridesmaids and groomsmen to be part of my wedding party, around 18 months before the wedding.

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  • Brittany
    Beginner October 2021
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    I asked my sister and step-sister probably two-three months after we got engaged. I asked my best friend and friend shortly after that. I am planning on asking my future sister-in-laws ASAP even though we aren't getting married until October of next year. I figure with the pandemic that it's better to do it sooner rather than later because I have a feeling there will be a lot of weddings that were rescheduled from this year and even though they are family and will most likely be there no matter what I figure it's better to be safe than sorry.

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  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    No sooner than 12 months out is my opinion. Thanks to Covid we are now having an 18 month time period for Bridal Party and it's been frustrating. They are over wedding anything and sadly, most of the bridal party is ready to have it all over and done with, or that's how it feels at least.

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