Super May 2020

When should you have your engagement party?

edecker, on November 7, 2017 at 4:26 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
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How many months after you're engaged should you wait before the party? Should save the dates be sent before or after the engagement party? Who gets invited to your engagement party? do you announce your bridesmaids and groomsmen before the party? SO MANY QUESTIONS!


  • Katie
    Devoted November 2017
    Katie ·

    The engagement party is separate from wedding planning. It doesn't impact the STDs, invitations, etc. You don't have to announce your wedding party. You should probably wait until the end of 2018 before you ask them in case stuff changes (because it easily will). I don't think you're supposed to throw your own engagement party - you don't even need to have one. We didn't.

  • Anne
    Master April 2017
    Anne ·

    You don't have one unless someone offers to throw you one. It's rude to throw one for yourself.

    Nobody in my circle has them.

  • Julie
    Dedicated February 2020
    Julie ·

    It really just depends. FH and I have a really long engagement so we will do one in a few months whenever my Aunt (who offered) wants to. When you do the engagement party keep in mind you only invite those you are definitely going to invite to the wedding. Because our party is so early in the length of the engagement, we won't announce/pick BP.

    I threw one this summer for my girlfriend and her FH about 7 months after the engagement, no BP had been picked and no STD had been sent out. Don't worry too much about the actual wedding and just celebrate your engagement.

  • SSJKarigan
    VIP August 2017
    SSJKarigan ·

    They're optional and I think someone else is supposed to toss one for you (since it's a party in your honor). My in-laws had an engagement party about 2 months after DH and I got engaged. We invited close friends and family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins).

  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·

    How many months after you're engaged should you wait before the party?

    - Whenever someone decides to host one for you. Typically, I've seen them done 3-4 months after the couple has gotten engaged.

    Should save the dates be sent before or after the engagement party?

    - This will depend on when your wedding is. STDs are sent 4-6 months before a local wedding, 6-10 months for a destination wedding (DW). Do you have a contract with your venue? Is the date locked and loaded?

    Who gets invited to your engagement party?

    - Whoever you want, but it should only be those invited to your wedding.

    Do you announce your bridesmaids and groomsmen before the party?

    - You don't need to "announce" anything. Pick your wedding party (ask them) about 9-11 months before the wedding.

    I opted out of having an engagement party because I didn't want one - the wedding was enough (and the shower and bach party my MOH hosted). Also, having an engagement party would have locked me into a guest list. H and I kept changing the guest list way too many times. We could have just had a party with VIPs, but again, we weren't hosting our own engagement party, and if someone offered to throw us one anyway, we would have declined.

    eta: grammar

  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·

    We got engaged March 30th and had our party August 5th, so about 4 months. There's no real set time for it but most people will say a few months after the engagement before you really delve into wedding planning. Since we aren't getting married until 2019 we did not announce wedding party (since our party was family only, many of them were not even at the e party!)

  • charms88
    Savvy August 2018
    charms88 ·

    We didn't have a party for our engagement (we've been engaged for like 3 years now), it never occurred to us that we were supposed to have one put together for us.

  • Kourtney
    Beginner December 2017
    Kourtney ·

    Enjoy your engagement and the start of the planning process. And don't throw a party for yourself. If someone offers to host one, let them sort out the details

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