When should i start and what should i start with?

First off, congratulations! My first bit of advice is to figure out your budget. If you and your fiance are paying, figure out how much money you can set aside each month after you've paid your bills and put into your savings. Then, multiply that by the amount of months in your engagement. For example, if you two can save $1000 each month x the 21 months in your engagement, you'd have a budget of $21000. If you have family helping to pay for the wedding (as in, they've told you they want to pay for it), you need to have a very frank conversation about what they're willing to contribute. This money also shouldn't be counted on until it's in hand as there have been many times when people have offered to pay but have ultimately fallen through.

Once you have your budget, you'll be able to determine a rough guest list. The amount of guests you have will be the #1 way to stay within or go over budget. The few guests you have, the further your budget will go. When you have those two things under control, then start looking for a venue. My FH and I are having a long engagement as well (2 years by the time we get married) and were able to save quite a bit of money by booking our venue, caterer, and photographer in 2018 when we got engaged. We're now locked into their 2018 pricing instead of having to pay their higher 2019 or even 2020 prices. I'm a huge fan of long engagements for this reason especially. Let me know if you have any other questions, and congratulations again!

View Quoted Comment This is great advice! Thank you so much for every bit of it. That’s a great point about locked in pricing for venues as they seem to increase every year, sometimes more than once a year.

Congratulations! My FH and I are also having a long engagement, just about 2 years by the time of the wedding. We (mostly me haha) started planning this fall for our April 2021 wedding and got engaged May of this year. I would say think about your date and location you want your wedding FIRST. Then decide on a reasonable budget, weddings are very expensive and the little details ADD UP. But that’s where long engagements come in handy because you have more time to plan and save! Another positive about long engagements is that you can do DIY projects since you have the time (not my thing because I’m not artsy but some people love it!)
Another piece of advice is do not tell that many people about all your plans or wedding stuff because 1) your mind will likely change on one aspect or another 2) friendships change (so don’t ask your bridesmaids just yet) 3) it’s very stressful if your loved ones have differing opinions and views than you and your FH. All in all, I have thoroughly loved planning so far and it hasn’t been stressful for us since we have so much time to research, save, and envision how we want our day to be! Happy planning 😊😊

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the advice.