When guests choose to not attend the ceremony?

Oh wow, I haven't encountered this problem. I get why you feel offended that they want to come to the "party" but not to watch you and your husband get married. I think that's weird honestly.

Nope not at all. I personally don't understand people getting offended by this, but may be it's just how my social group or where I was raised. I know a few times we didn't make it to the ceremony and showed up for the reception instead. I also know a few who will only be attending my reception. I'm not bothered one bit by it. I know people have life's outside of my wedding and my wedding isn't going to be as important to others as it is to me and I'm good with that.

I think that's so weird....do you think it might be the fact that they practice a different religion?

My mom's Catholic and raised me Catholic (now not practicing), but my dad's an atheist. He didn't attend church with us and wanted nothing to do with it because he felt uncomfortable and judged by the church. Not saying that your church and congregation does that, but from their point of view it might be uncomfortable for them to be there?

I personally don't hate it because to me, weddings aren't fun. Ceremonies especially can be boring and if they're driving from that far away I can understand why they may not want to find something to do during the gap between the ceremony and reception.

I think it's okay that you don't love that they don't want to come to the ceremony, but I wouldn't take it personally. I'm sure they're not declining to come to that portion because they don't value you.

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree with this. If I was invited to a wedding that was a far drive, and there was a gap between the ceremony and reception I'd definitely be skipping the ceremony as well.

I've been to Catholic weddings but thankfully never one with a gap. Gaps always sounds terribly inconvenient/boring/uncomfortable for guests who have nothing to do and no where to go for hours in the middle of the day, all while dressed up an in an unfamiliar town. It seems like this is simply the price you pay for deciding to have a non-hosted gap in the middle of your event.

I think it’s so offensive. The day is not about the party, it’s about the nuptials and union. People need to get out of their head that this day is about drinking and party, that’s a plus, but not the reason to gather all of your loved ones.

View Quoted Comment The ceremony time was chosen by the Church in between services. The 1.5-2 hour gap time works for road travel (actual 20-40 min). They have a retro hotel to check out while waiting and guests can check out the plane they converted into a bar. It's not like they are abandoned, standing on grass.

View Quoted Comment I don't enjoy weddings either.

Thanks all for the responses. I'm trying to not feel the hours spent planning is not wasted on people who don't care. They may or may not, but I can choose if this negates the day.

View Quoted Comment My cousin had a wedding that had a gap between the ceremony and reception. And it was a far drive for most. So a couple of people including me and my fiance didn't go to the ceremony. She said she thought it would be a big deal to her for people to miss the ceremony, she said but when it's your wedding day the happiest day of your life you are just so excited and also busy with everything going on that you don't have time nor care to fixated on who didn't show up for what.

In my culture most people actually skip the ceremony part so i guess i was used to it? but i DO see how it's kind of weird to if it's back to back

Hello ! That's a little bit sad as I don't really think that someone's wedding in one religion or confession can be offending to anyone... Guests should be there for the couple, just because they are atheist, muslims or jewish, it doesn't mean that they are not welcome...

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I'm so glad you realize that you can choose to let this ruin your day or not. I sincerely hope you choose to enjoy your day. Even though you do say you don't like weddings, I hope you at least will like yours.

Yeah, sorry, but no. A wedding invitation isn't an a la carte affair. Unless you have a legitimate excuse, like you can't get off work for the ceremony, or your flight was rescheduled, you attend the ceremony, or you aren't welcome at the reception. 'Oh, sorry, I don't want to attend the part that isn't "fun," but sure I'll show up to party and get a free dinner and drinks' isn't acceptable. If I'm not important enough to them for them to share such a meaningful experience with me, then I really don't want them there at all. And I don't care if they don't speak to me again because of it.

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I didn't mean to offend you, you asked if we would be personally offended if someone skipped and I included why I wouldn't be, because I myself don't enjoy them much so I don't blame others for feeling the same.

I hope your day goes wonderfully and you're able to enjoy yourself without worrying about those who aren't there.

Yeah I can understand the disappointment, the ceremony is truly the important part of the day. I've seen many times here that when there's a big gap, that's the risk you take. Sucks.

View Quoted Comment I certainly hope it was not that they felt unwelcome in a different faith. I was working on ceremony programs to include all guests (not needed now). This involved choosing 14 sections/prayers & 3 songs. Silly me, I thought the Church was scripted verbatim.

If they aren’t the same faith it could be that they aren’t comfortable attending a Catholic Church ceremony. I know people who have skipped the service for this reason.

I would be bummed out too. I would try not to let it ruin my day bit would feel hurt. It’s ok to feel hurt about things.