When do we have an engagement party?

I read somewhere on pinterest that you have anywhere from 2 to 4 months after you have been engaged. But do it whenever it feels right.

We are having ours within 3 months of the engagement.

My best friend threw ours 2.5 months after we got engaged. It ended up being the 1 year mark until our wedding date too.

I would have it sooner rather than later.

Whats the difference between an Engagement Party, Bridal Shower, Lingerie Shower... Would it be rude to have all three? Should I ask this on my own thread? lol I am just new to all of it!

We did a very small dinner the day we got engaged with friends we had plan to see that day anyways for my birthday. They just invited more people and paid for the dinner once they heard about the engagement. We then had a different group throw us a dinner 3 months later and 3.5 months later for a different group. The 2nd and 3rd ones were purely due to schedule conflicts and people not being able to make the first one. I think anything after 4 months is odd but that's purely my opinion and I don't think that's anything on the official etiquette.

@Maive we had an engagement party but only because our engagement was two years long. Once it starts to run into other pre-wedding events its too close to the wedding.

@Maive, I don't think it's rude to have all three (space it out) but it's definitely not cool to host any of these things yourselves. The bridal party (or family/friends) can host it if they choose but that's upto them. Hosting it yourself seems very gift grabby.

Engagement parties are typically within a few months of getting engaged.

Maive - engagement parties are to celebrate a recent engagement, often for the two sides of the family to meet if they haven't already. They're usually more casual, just drinks and snacks and mingling. Most people don't even have them.

Bridal showers are to "shower" the bride to be with presents for their home, typically closer to the wedding. Lingerie showers are similar but for the point of giving her lingerie, robes, sexy things instead of household goods. It's sometimes combined with all the bachelorette party.

Rules for pre-wedding events in general:

Don't host your own since they're parties in honor of you, and don't ask someone to host it. If someone offers, great, if not, no big deal. Nobody is entitled to a shower or party. If a friend or family member offers, you can help them come up with a guest list but then they would do the planning and hosting.

Nobody should be invited to a pre-wedding event if they're not going to be invited to the wedding. That tells someone that they're good enough to drink with or bring you a present but not good enough to witness your vows. Not cool.

I've known some people to have engagement party, bridal shower and lingerie shower/bachelorette party but it's a lot. Most people will say to keep it to 1 or 2 parties.

Engagement Party: Celebrates couples engagement. Usually 2-6 months from engagement. But you don't want it to close to wedding. Usually no gifts, but some people will bring a small token like wine.

Bridal Shower: Tradition was started to "shower" the bride with what she will need in her new life with her husband (because couples didn't used to live together). Now some people do it and some don't. DH and I lived together 1 year before our shower but we still had one because all we had was old college cookware and plastic plates. BRIDE doesn't host or doesn't ask anyone to host. Bridal party or family members or friends can volunteer to host. Only those invited to wedding may be invited to shower (typically women close to Bride)

Lingerie Shower: I've often seen this in conjunction with Bacherlorette party... throw by the bridal party if they choose with bride and close friends.

Thanks, all!

Ours was about 3 months after we got engaged, we chose the date based on when we were able to fly DH and his family to my hometown so that they could meet my family. My mom organized it.

Our engagement party was one week after he proposed, but was only close family and a couple friends. I live hours away from all my family and only see them a few times a year, so they were just so excited to have me come home and celebrate! I feel like you can have the engagement party anytime best for your situation within the first few months, just not too close to the wedding date.

When someone offers to throw one for you.

Ours was 4 months after we got engaged and was thrown by FHs grandmother. We were not expecting people to bring gifts, but they did. The biggest thing to remember is that everyone you invite has to be invited to the wedding.

@Maive, we had an engagement party and I will be having a shower. They are happening over a year apart as an engagement party typically happens close to when you get engaged (2-4 months after) and the shower is usually closer to the wedding (1-4 months before). All pre wedding events (engagement parties, showers, bachlorette parities, lingerie parties) should not be hosted by you. Someone needs to offer to host the event.