When can you 'nudge' for an RSVP?

A lot of people wait until really close to the deadline to send them back. It's my understanding that you don't send a reminder because it would come across as pushy. Instead, the day after the deadline, you can start calling guests with outstanding RSVPs to ask if they are coming because you did not receive their RSVP. This is why it's recommended the RSVP deadline be a week before your final headcount is due for your caterer.

Many will wait until the last minute. Did you leave any wiggle room between your deadline and the date the caterer will need to know the #s for? If so, I'd just plan to make calls once the deadline passes. You're still good! No need to call yet. Personally, if I forgot to mail mine back until say the day before the deadline, I would call the bride/groom and tell them whether or not I could attend and still mail back the card knowing it would be late, but at least they would get a response by the deadline.

I'm not close enough to mail my invites, but I'm sure I'll be anxiously waiting for my RSVPs too! Just wanting to confirm everything and know people are coming is huge pressure!

I found that we got an influx of rsvps right when we sent the invites out, but then it dropped off. We received another chunk back in the days right after our rsvp date. So I agree that people like to wait right until the end to send them in.

Yeah, I have wiggle room after the RSVP date, I suppose I'm just impatient! To be honest, I've always been the type to send mine close to the deadline, but never again!! SO many of these people didn't RSVP for my shower, my MIL had to contact them after and some STILL didn't get back to her!!

Yeah, its soo annoying haha. That's good you have room. I made calls the day after our date past. I wanted to know those numbers, yes or no!

I think if you need to know, just call them! It's your wedding. Do what you want.

We used online responses, through our wedding website, and heard from all but 2, of 250 invited guests, 10 days before the due date. I think a miracle occurred.

My sister is still waiting to hear from some of her invited guests, 1.5 years later, including uncles and 1st cousins, on her husbands side ...

I feel your pain! Our deadline is next Saturday and we're still waiting to hear from a good amount of people... I decided to wait until the day after our deadline.

But not for family. I haven't been nudging people for their RSVPs, but my mom and my aunt have been nudging my cousins and other family members who are probably coming but don't feel any urgent need to send the RSVP for some reason. :/

My dad and stepmom asked my aunt, just because they are nosy and wanted to know. Besides that I'm trying to wait until after the deadline (4/21). I still have half of my RSVP's outstanding. I'm trying to make a rough draft of tables so I don't feel rushed once the next two weeks go by.

I suggest waiting a few days after the RSVP deadline before you contact them in case they put the RSVP in the mail ON the day it was due. A few days after will give the postal service time to get it to you.

We're in the same predicament. FH is annoyed and wants to give people a nudge now. I told him to calm down because that's why I set our deadline 4 weeks before the wedding. To give us time to track folks down after the deadline. If you don't actually need to give the caterer numbers by your deadline, you have time.

When it's time to hunt down RSVPs, split up the calls. You and your FH can call/text your respective friends. Your parents can call the family members that haven't responded.

ETA: Our deadline is 4/23. Giving guests that live in our area until 4/26 to have responses in before we call and OOT guests until 4/28. We need all replies by 5/6.

I agree with E&M, wait a day or two after the RSVP deadline. My friend nudged me once and it was before her deadline date and I found it a tad annoying. I probably shouldn't have waited till last minute but her event was at the same time as my family traditionally hosted Easter dinner so I was waiting on them to see if that could be moved that year so I could attend both.

This may not be appropriate but FH nudged his friends with like a week and a half left, to remember to put it in the mail. Every single one of them: "Oh thanks man, totally forgot!"

We still only got about half back, and had to call the others anyway. Know your audience!