When Addressing Invite Envelopes

Technically, adult children should each get their own invitation. For people with different last names, we would write "Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith. Even if they had the same last name, I would do Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith. However, we were having a more formal wedding. For those who are gender neutral, I believe the honorific is Mx. instead of Mr., Mrs., or Ms.

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Hmmm I was hoping to avoid sending 5 invites ( I think we have one with 7 as well) to the same address for some of the adult children households. But maybe that's improper. I guess we can rethink that. Thanks for the advice! Very helpful.

If you are having a formal wedding, the formal prefixes are appropriate. PP is correct that you do Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith if they are married but use different last names. You should also use whatever prefixes your guests prefer.
Adult children should receive their own invitations even if at the same address.
Younger can be included on the inside envelope or on the second line on the outside envelope.

We wanted to address each of our guests as individuals so we did “Mr. [First] [Last] and Mrs [First] [Last]” regardless of if they are married with/without the same last name. The order of the names depended on who we were closer with, not the gender, but that is very minor. We originally considered dropping the prefixes, but that conveys a lower level of formality that we didn’t want to convey.
The other thing to note is that we don’t have any older or more proper guests coming who would take offense to this slightly less conventional method. If we had, I think I would have addressed theirs per the norm instead.

We did "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith" for married couples with the same last name. We had a very formal wedding but we're also progressive people and I'm sick of the tradition of the woman's name being left out. It's 2021--time for women to have their own name when being addressed on invitations!

All single adults 18+ get their own invites. If you are having a formal wedding, keep the prefixes as "Mr and Mrs Daniel Jones"

I like your method and think it's totally fine! Putting Mr and Mrs John Smith feels very antiquated to me. What about the wife?! What about LGBT couples?! Go with your preference! I'm doing the exact same! As for a household with multiple adult children too, we sent some separate StDs and Invites depending on the household. I don't see anything wrong with including them all on one envelope!

We did not use prefixes and just did “John & Jane Smith.” And for families with children, we addressed the invite to “The Smith Family.” Agree with others that adult children get their own invitation, even if they still live at home.

I'm not planning on using prefixes and instead will simply address people by their names.

We mostly didn’t use prefixes- except that my SIL and sister both have earned their doctorates so we wanted to recognize that. And then I was being silly with my MOH so she got her whole full name written out on the invite. We also sent adults who live at home their own invites- and little kids too. So my aunt and uncle got one (addressed to Uncle Ryan and ZsaZsa bc that’s her nickname) and the three kids got their own invite. They LOVED that

We're addressing everything by "Mr. and Mrs. (couple's last name)". OR we're just putting "Jack and Jill Jones". Our addressing varies depending on how formal we know the guest is.

Are you not wanting small children there? If that's not an issue, then I'd just address families by the family name: "The Jones Family".

Prefixes really aren't necessary unless you want your wedding to have a very formal vibe.

I left prefixes out of the invitations. I don't think it's necessary and I HATE when it's "Mr & Mrs John Smith" for the same reasons you listed above. My husband's step mother gave us a short list of people she wanted to invite (some who I don't know) and she listed them under the man's name and it really irritated me. I'm expected to invite these people (which I don't have a problem with at all) but I should know their names! For families, I did "Jane Smith & Family", starting with the person we're closest with. Adult children should get their own invitation to make it clear on who's invited.
I see a lot of people are talking about the formality of your wedding. I personally don't think you need to do the prefixes even if your wedding is more formal. Listing them by first and last names should be enough. People can typically tell the formality by the invitations alone and wedding website if you have one.

So I think this is a "know your crowd" thing. I dont' care how fancy your wedding is, i HATE being addressed as Mrs. Husband Name. I get extra annoyed when close friends know that and still address me that way because something is "formal". For our wedding I didn't address all my invites the same way.

For friends (married or not) I did most of them as Jane Doe & John Smith or John and Jane Doe.

For family that was more traditional I did Mr. John and Mrs Jane Smith (used both first names instead of only man's).

All "kids" out of high school I sent separate invites (I didn't go strictly by age 18, because there were a couple 18 yo's that were still in high school, living at home obviously and were not getting plus ones).

High school kids and younger I addressed on parents invites but on a separate line like:

Mr. John and Mrs Jane Smith

Toby, James & Sarah

Address etc.

Agreed with Lady, this is a crowd thing.

I certainly won't be writing "Mr. & Mrs." on any invitations. Prefixes do not suit a single person in my crowd - they're awkwardly formal and no matter how formal my event is, it doesn't fit anyone in my crowd. I even have a Ph.D. friend who loathes to be addressed as Dr. [Name], so dropping the prefixes altogether is a safer bet.

This is one of those times that I simply don't agree with etiquette. Prefixes are complex and cannot be summed up with just Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Miss. Ms., in particular, is a misunderstood and debated prefix. Then you add in Mx., you add in people using Mrs. but keeping their own last name, people using Ms. but taking their husband's last name, etc. It turns into a muddled mess that you're going to sit slaving and stressing over... for an envelope people are going to rip open and throw away. (Even when you try to use this to indicate who is invited, such as "Mr. & Mrs." and not including children, you almost inevitably have to explain to someone that it was addressed to only them because their kids aren't invited, so what difference does it make?)

I think just names is perfectly fine. It's 2021. This is an etiquette rule that needs to die.

We left off the Mr. and Mrs. It's just not my style.

We're including prefixes (like Mr., Mrs. Miss, Dr., etc.) because we're having a black tie wedding, but all guests will be addressed by their first names. It's 2021. Women have their own names. We're no longer the property of our husbands. And yes, we're having an uber-formal black tie wedding. Addressing women by their husbands' names is one of those antiquated traditions rooted in sexist principles that needs to die. Feminist rant over.

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Wow, Thank you everyone! I love seeing how diverse of a community is here! So very helpful!

We also ditched the prefixes - definitely not our style and most of our guests feel weird about being referred to by them. For couples that share a last name I included it as "John and Jane Smith". For couples who don't share a last name we either addressed them as "John Smith and Jane Doe" or just "John and Jane". We are having a child-free reception, so we didn't have to figure out phrasing/addressing for families. One of my bridesmaids lives with her parents who are also invited. The parents got an invitation and the bridesmaid got her own invitation.

I agree it’s a know your crowd thing. My mom, for example, prefers Mrs John Smith, because Mrs Jane Smith implies she’s divorced. I, and most of my friends, would be deeply uncomfortable being addressed that way, even if it’s technically ‘correct’. If your crowd won’t find lack of prefixes too informal, then go for it.

For children under 18, on the inner envelope, I’d write “Jane & John Smith, Jenny, Jim-Bob & Jolene”. On the outer envelope I’d put Jane & John Smith and Family ( or if you only know one of them well, just that person ‘& Family’)

Yes, I'm all for it, and what you are doing sounds perfect.

We did not use salutations (or pre-fixes) for any part of our wedding invites or decor. No "Mr & Mrs" anything. Couples were "HisFirst HisLast & HerFirst HerLast" or "HisFirst & HerFirst TheirLast". I think its totally fine and totally modern.