when a friend wants to throw you the engagement party, how to handle?

Do you have different friends/family in each of the towns? If someone's offering to host you a party you should accept... or if you feel uncomfortable you could always just say that's so sweet of you but you don't need all the attention and ask if they'd like to celebrate with drinks instead?

And yes everyone invited needs to be invited to the wedding, however if it was a celebratory dinner type thing you don't necessarily have to have them at your wedding, but do offer to pay for your own food.

We had friends offer to host an engagement party for us. We declined and explained that it would cost a considerable amount of money considering they would have to invite our entire guest list. However, we asked them to be apart of the bridal party. They understood and happily accepted to be in the BP.

You girls are so nice to reply - thank you. hmmm - you both have me thinking. I guess the 2 issues are this...the expense and who is invited.

my fiance and i have not come down from our high yet let alone made any decisions on the wedding.

not to mention what town we are going to get married - his city or mine.

i certainly don't want to offend anyone....i.e., if they are invited to an engagement party and then not the wedding. I would like to celebrate with out friends though...and with each set of friends in the diff cities.

Thank you again - any other thoughts, let me know.

If you do not want the party, decline graciously.

^I agree with above. A friend threw us an engagement party and it was a surprise. It was lovely and not unwanted and we had a blast. The only problem was, people were invited to it that we were not planning on inviting to the wedding so we had to deal with that