What’s your favorite part of a ceremony?

There are so many great parts of the ceremony! Too many favorite parts to choose... The bride walking down the aisle, the vows, exchanging rings, being officially pronounced as a married couple, the first kiss, and walking down the aisle as a married couple. I think if I *had* to pick, my favorite part as a guest watching the ceremony is if the couple incorporates anything unique to them into the ceremony. Such as, if the couple has a song that's meaningful to their relationship, and they play the song somewhere in the ceremony. Or, if the couple has a passion for whiskey, and they do a whiskey blending unity ceremony. Or, if the couple has a child and they do a set of family vows to include the child in the ceremony. I also love hearing couples write their own vows.

Things I'm not a fan of is if the ceremony runs way long (more than an hour), or if it's difficult to hear (poor sound quality).

Overall, focus on what's most important to you and your fiance for the ceremony! Don't do something just because it's what guests want to see. Do something because it's important to your relationship. By doing that, it will naturally make the ceremony unique and enjoyable for guests.

My favorite part of a ceremony is when it’s genuine. You’re committing the rest of your life to someone. Worry more about what’s important to the two of you and less about what’s entertaining for guests. That’s what the reception is for.

The vows are usually super sweet.


My friend did a tree planting as their Unity part of the ceremony. They had a sapling in a big pot and had dirt from their new home and some place else they each poured one In. It was sweet and different. I really enjoyed that.

I agree that it's the personalized songs, readings, etc. that really make the wedding memorable and unique for that couple. I watched a Zoom wedding where the bride and groom each (independently) chose a quote to read to each other during their vows. Little did they know they had chosen the exact same quote! Everyone there was smiling and I'm sure all the Zoom attendees were too. I went to another wedding where the bride makes "1 second every day" videos where she records a clip of each day of the year -- so of course her video was of them at the altar, all the guests cheering behind them. Or if a couple has a dog or baby, they might have them stand in the ceremony as well. As a guest, those are the kinds of things I remember most and sets your wedding apart from others'.


Kinda unrelated, but all the weddings I go to are Jewish, so stomping on the glass is also super memorable.

View Quoted Comment So, my fiancé does painting and I love art so for our unity, we are doing a pour paint on canvas together. I’m think this will be the most unique and most personal for us.

View Quoted Comment I think that's super sweet, definitely personal and meaningful to your relationship! And it can be a one-of-a-kind piece of art that you could display in your home.

My favorite part of the ceremony is when you can really see that the couple is in love and truly in the moment. I love ceremonies that are tailored to the couple. When people try to force things you can really tell (example: writing their own vows even though they don’t feel comfortable public speaking, just because everyone else does). The Officiant can definitely change the vibe of the ceremony too. Dry Officiants=boring ceremonies. Ceremonies with fun, lighthearted Officiants have been my favorites!

You all have been really helpful!! Thank you!!

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Agree with this. Stay true to who you are.

Sweet & short. Long ceremonies or vows get awkward.

My absolute favorite thing: Seeing the groom's face as his bride walks down the aisle and he sees her for the first time. Of course, that's not something a guest actually gets to experience if you're doing a first look.

My least favorite thing: Having someone not appropriate for the position appointed to perform a reading during the ceremony. Examples: young children who can't really read yet, those asked to do a reading in a language they are not fully comfortable with (like the friend who only speaks English being asked to read something in French), a friend or family member who either had way too much to drink before the ceremony or will be crying so hard they can't really be understood.

Most memorable: A friend of mine had her cockatiel as the ring bearer! A friend walked out with the cage and then opened it for the bird to fly down the aisle. It landed on the officiant's shoulder and stayed there during the ceremony. So that was pretty cool.

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This.

More than 20 minutes and I'm ready to get the heck out of there. Honestly. I had calculus classes that were shorter than some ceremonies I've been to.

Things I do not like: long ceremonies, and "vows" that are 5 minutes of "I love how you sing in the shower, I love the face you make when I mention your favorite fast food place, I love how..." followed by a single line of "I promise to love you forever." Those are not vows, friends. And if you're taking out a two-page dissertation for your vows, cut them. Vows should be no more than a calmly-paced 2 minutes long, preferably more like 90 seconds (each).

I also loathe preachy sermon ceremonies. I have witnessed so many "JESUS WAS MARRIED TO THE CHURCH AND HE SO DEEPLY LOVED YOU HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOU" ceremonies. Not only do I find them very uncomfortable, but I don't find them at all appropriate. Are you saying the couple should love each other so deeply they are willing to be crucified for each other? Is that the analogy? I have left many ceremonies confused as to what message about marriage they were trying to convey, and it's especially confusing because I know there is plenty in the Bible about marriage, so why are we talking about the crucifixion?

Things I love:

Music playing while people wait. I am always among the early guests. Not saying you need music an hour before your ceremony, but some light background music starting around 15 minutes before is nice.

Drinks being passed out before the ceremony. I would lean toward sparkling cider or something like lemonade (because alcohol if it's hot out is a fast way to make guests sick, and you might have some expectant mothers in the crowd) but I just love this. I definitely will be doing this.

One wedding, instead of a reading, the couple had a very talented friend sing La Vie en Rose before the vows. It was lovely, and a refreshing break from listening to people talk.

Just generally being aware of the comfort of your guests. I know the ceremony is "about the couple," but you shouldn't forget that you have an audience. This isn't a concert for a rockstar that people have paid for the privilege to sit in the mud just to hear them, these are your loved ones, your nearest and dearest, the people who are paying witness to your love and the beginning of your lives.

The best moment for us were our vows - my husband said them in Polish for me... even our photographer was crying ;-)