What's the Cringy-est Piece of Advice Your Mother Gave You About Being Married?!

Thankfully I haven’t gotten any unsolicited advice from family (although an older coworker told me I need to wear make up everyday so I can be beautiful, and to marry him right away so he can’t escape, so I guess there’s that). But I just want to say Ooph! Your mom seems like an interesting character.

3. "You have to lose weight. And you must learn to do fancy hair styles and your makeup. If he sees someone more attractive than you, he will leave you. You must prevent that."

^ i relate to this one. not how it pertains to my husband but overall my mom has always been on my butt about this! i honestly am completely natural. i don't do make up, i don't care to style my hair. and she's always hated it because she's a big girly girl so some days she really gets on me about keeping up appearances

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It's just so hard to hear honestly. Especially when all you want is for your mother to love you as you are, just as you love her as she is.
At the ripe old age of 12, my mother forced to me diet for the first time. According to her, "[she] was embarrassed to be seen with [me] because I was too fat and looked pregnant." And of course, she wasn't going to have the people at the grocery store thinking she had a pregnant daughter lol!

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It makes me so happy to hear that the people in your life trust you to know what's best in your relationship!

View Quoted Comment I had a friend growing up who had the same story. Her mom would give her a hard time for her weight, and make her diet CONSTANTLY. It got to the point where my other friends and I had to make her eat at lunch because she’d stopped all together. That kind of mindset and treatment is toxic, and I’m glad it seems like you’re ok despite having grown up in that environment.

View Quoted Comment My dad tried to give me a hard time for my acne growing up “go upstairs and wash your face, pizzaface” but then I got 2nd degree burns on my nose from the acne face wash, and he felt really bad and never did anything like that to me ever again. My mom did tell me my wedding dress of choice is boring, but that’s not a big deal.

My mom never gave me negative advice like those. Sorry, OP. I feel like a mom should build up their kids and not put them down like that. It’s heartbreaking. My dh’s mom (I don’t call her mil anymore, I cut my ties with her. She is very toxic) said terrible things to me and my kids. One day she told me “As a wife you should never talk back to your husband, otherwise it’s reasonable for him to slap you.” She said terrifying things to our son years ago, but it’s so inappropriate for saying it here. She is so lucky I didn’t call the cps on her. My kids limit their contact with her ever since. They don’t value her as they value my mom, which is only natural.

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Ugh I struggled with pretty bad acne for like 10 years (before finally just going on accutane), and honestly the comments from family were the worst.

Even the ones that were meant to be nice "oh your skins looking nicer today than usual" always felt really backhanded. Like, can we please just not say anything??? I already know it's there!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about the 2nd degree burns though! That must have been so awful!

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Salycylic acid is THE WORST. And it's found in almost every commercial "acne cleanse" or exfoliant. I had something similar happen when I was trying to get rid of scarring from stress acne about two years ago. NEVER AGAIN!

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I feel for your friend. I was eating 800 calories a day for years in my teens, as I wasn't allowed to play sports or play with the neighborhood kids. To this day, my mother is notably more affectionate towards me when I'm thinner as opposed to heavier. And the largest I've ever been is a size 12. I've taken to not letting her hug me anymore. She's always groping me to see if I've gotten bigger when "hugging me".

Oh gosh. I fortunately didn't get any bizarre marriage advice, but my mom likes to comment on my weight (I used to be thin and gained a lot in my early-mid twenties that's still here at 30). I also mainly get asked when she's getting grandbabies (from my MIL too, but she isn't as pushy about it).


That 3rd one though is....wow. I would certainly hope that you weren't marrying a man so shallow for that to be true. Also, I will call my husband "sweetie" and "cutie" as much as I damn well please in front of other people lol.

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It always makes my heart heavy to hear stories like this, where women continue to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. I am so happy to hear that your husband disregarded everything your mother tried to teach him!

I'm sorry you've received those comments!

The only advise my mom has given me is 'just elope' when I told her we were postponing. She talks a lot of smack to and about other people, but never to me. I guess that's a good thing. My FIL say things like 'we are going to be dead before you have kids'. FH is there only child so I guess those comments are expected but not appreciated.

Oof reading that she made those comments to you hurt my heart.

Thankfully, my mom hasn't made many comments like that (and she's known for doing it in the past). The only thing she has commented on is my weight. I've never been 'skinny enough' for her even when I was 100 pounds lol...I've just learned to not react to her anymore. My current weight isn't unhealthy and I'm actively working out and bettering myself, so that's all that matters.

My great grandma would say "always get a guy that loves you more than you love him. That way he's less likely to leave you."

Ironically, I don't use nicknames for my fiancé, I always call him by his first name, and an older family friend was actually offended that I didn't nickname him, and actually confronted me about it asking "How does he know he's special to you?" I was dumbfounded

Not necessarily advice, but both of my parents believe that in a heterosexual relationship, the man should earn more than the woman. (Guess you flip a coin if your relationship’s non-heterosexual?) Coming from a couple in which the wife earns 30% than her husband, I wonder just how insecure my father feels about his income that he’s convinced my mother to agree with him.

"You are great at cooking and sewing, but before you get married you should really learn how to iron better." Said to me by my former step Father when I was about 13yrs old after voluntarily deciding to iron the big pile of everyone's clothing.

This was said by a co-worker and not very much advice but it seriously drove me crazy. I lost some weight for my wedding went from about 180 to 160, nothing crazy but I was pretty proud. One day after my wedding my co-worker says, good thing your husband likes full figured women who love good food. I was like what? I mean I am curvy-ish but nothing crazy so it totally made me feel weird. She thought it was the biggest compliment.

OMG! You guys have me rolling!! My mom passed back in 2018 so I don’t tidbits like this. When I was younger my nana & grandmother both teased me about my but! Told me if I wanted to keep a man, I’d better learn to cook, clean & wait on my husband if I wanted to keep him!