Whats stopping you from starting your life together now?

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I was the victim of lovebombing in my last relationship...it got as far as engagement before I *finally* ended it, to my family's great relief.

I am an older bride; I was married for 20+ years before my divorce five years ago and then had the bad relationship between the marriage and my current relationship. My BF and I have known each other since high school; he has been widowed for 5 years. We each have children.

I think the key for me, anyway, is that I finally am in a relationship where I am valued, cared for, listened to and validated. My BF is in a good place financially. We are long-distance, so we are just ready to end his loneliness and have me move in with him even though it will require some sacrifices on my part which I am more than willing to make. Technically we aren't engaged yet; last week we chose rings and have had a wedding date in mind for a while but are waiting for things to calm down with the virus. We may go to the justice of the peace after I move in and then just have a small intimate ceremony after a time.

The "start our life together" thing is very true for us. We have known each other since we were teens and we have felt like teens since getting reacquainted. We have both had A LOT of heartache so it is time for the happy days to begin!

View Quoted Comment Or it could be this too! Ya never know lol and hey that’s amazing you two finally reached this point

Reason 1 is financial, I've been saving money like crazy by living at home. Reason 2, I wanted to finish my schooling and get my degree before we got married (I graduate in May, the wedding is October), so ALL my time wouldn't be spent doing coursework after work. I wanted a solid foundation to start our lives together. I feel like rushing into a marriage without being financially ready for it is a recipe for disaster. The wedding is just one day, the marriage is what you need to save and prepare for.

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Yes these are all things that make sense. But There are tons of comments that are along the lines of "We just want to get married ASAP to start our lives together." But you should start your lives together before getting married. Everytime I see a statment like that I can't help but think it's an arrainged marriage. 'Welp guess this is my life now'