What's a way you can "encourage" your guests to go to both your ceremony and reception?

Is there a gap? That’s the only time I’ve ever seen people skip a ceremony and only come to a reception.

View Quoted Comment

There's an hour gap, unfortunately but most people in our family our Catholic and understand that it's one of those things. An hour isn't too bad and we have appetizers and an open bar ready for cocktail hour.

Unless they are at the same location, I think you will have people skipping the ceremony for a variety of reasons.

I don't think there is any reason why someone would attend the reception and not the ceremony. That's wrong in my eyes. The ceremony is the actual act of getting married and the reception is to thank the guests for coming. I would find it rude to attend a reception without going to the ceremony. No matter the religion. They might be confused by the rsvp and they plan on going.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for your input! The church and venue are 5 miles away. I'm curious...if I may ask, do you know why people may skip the ceremony? (Not saying your answers will replace my assumptions but I'm just curious)

View Quoted Comment

I'm 100% with you! I just think it's rude. I have Muslim friends attending my Catholic ceremony and I know I would do the same for someone with from another religion. If anything, I would want to go because it's another experience but I guess it depends on preference. I just asked the previous poster here to why people would skip. I am genuinely curious!

Also - we invited my FH's family members who live almost 2 hours done south from where we are. They are attending ALL of the events. Some members on my side (1 family) live in the same city and are only attending the reception.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with this.

Unfortunately, your gap makes this more likely; the best way for you to encourage guests to attend both is to eliminate the gap. Is there any way you can start your cocktail hour an hour earlier?

To be frank, I don't think you (general you) are justified in being upset at guests for skipping the ceremony if you have a gap. Gaps are rude to your guests. If they choose to skip the ceremony so they don't have to figure out what to do for an awkward hour during which they should be being hosted, then so be it. In general, though, if you aren't going to change your timeline I think you should try not to pay attention to who is or isn't coming to the ceremony (because really, you don't know why and whether they're choosing to or whether they have a conflict unless they tell you), and be happy about who is coming to celebrate with you overall.

Is it possible they intend to attend both but got confused with the online RSVP?

My husband and I work in manufacturing/production plants. They operate 24/7/365. And it is nearly impossible to get off on holidays if they aren't your regularly scheduled off day. Police, first responders, hospital employees, nursing homes, retail sales, restaurant servers... all could be working Labor Day. So yes, it is entirely possible people have to work.

View Quoted Comment

That is what I am thinking. Frankly, I wouldn't worry too much about it. There are people who are atheist, their religion forbids them for entering a church of another religion, someone has to work and can't get out of it but still wants to celebrate your marriage at the reception, and so many more. In my mind, I would rather have people there for part of the day than not come at all.

View Quoted Comment

I completely disagree with this, this may be a cultural thing, but she's said that it is a Catholic wedding and this is extremely common and acceptable for Catholics. Especially if guests know ahead of time. There is always something for them to do for a mere 45 minutes in between and if they don't feel like burning 45 minutes do they even care enough for you to want them to be at your wedding? Ridiculous! You are paying so much to give your guests a thank you for coming to celebrate your wedding with you. I can't understand this self-entitled logic of everything should be based around the guests desires. Gaps are not rude, People who would skip seeing friends or family get married because they might have to wait around for 45 minutes are rude. People literally wait that long to get seated for a meal at a restaurant.

I would touch base with those guests and perhaps mention you noticed the website was a little confusing and wanted to make sure you understood their rsvp. That will give you the chance at least to understand if they meant to rsvp for the ceremony or not. I personally think it's horrifically rude for guests to attend the reception and not the ceremony. The reception is a thank you for being a part of the wedding. I'll never understand that logic. And as long as you let guests know ahead of time about the gap, don't worry about that. It is super common for Catholic weddings and we're having one as well and all of our guests are totally fine with it. I personally touched base with them so no one was taken aback by the time gap.

View Quoted Comment

Agree with this 100%.

Or they knew you didn't really need an RSVP for the ceremony, so just RSVP'd for the part they knew you needed a count for. Honestly, that's probably what I would have done before you updated the website.

Also, it's highly unlikely that you'll notice anyone not at the ceremony. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I don't think there is a nice way to say it. People are going to skip the ceremony if they really want to. On my invitations I only put the start time of the ceremony and said Reception to Follow. People will still figure that the ceremony is an hour-ish and show up only to the reception.

In the past I have skipped the ceremony only because the ceremony was at noon and the reception didn't start until 6pm. It's a long time to ask guests to hang around and entertain themselves.

View Quoted Comment

In some circles it's common; that doesn't make it acceptable or not rude. Granted, an hour gap is better than a 2-5 hour gap, but it's still not great and not a good thing to do to your guests. Also, in circles where so-called 'Catholic gaps' are common, it's often also common for guests to skip the ceremony. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too.

View Quoted Comment

I happen to completely disagree with you. Gaps are not rude. Adults do not have to be entertained and have every second of the day planned out for them when an event is going on. It's perfectly fine to do to guests and I've been to numerous Catholic weddings and have never seen guests skip the actual wedding to come have fun at the party. THAT is rude. You absolutely do not have to have everything hit together second by second. I think guests are just way too entitled these days.

I don't think there is anything you can do. People will do what they want when they want for a variety of reasons. Hopefully you invited guests who care enough to attend both parts of your day.