What would you prefer--short regrets or long explanation?

I just want them to say no. Either that or dont rsvp by the deadline. Who cares why.

I think it would depend on the person. If it was anyone I talk to on a weekly or monthly basis, I would very much like to know why the aren't coming. But for our more distant family that we only saw a few times a year pre-Covid, I don't really think an explanation is necessary. But I don't see how Covid has changed that.

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I'm not sure if others have experienced this, but I have found (from trying to plan a wedding last year) that anyone who isn't coming needed to tell me exactly why they felt unsafe coming and how hard this was for them. Pre-covid, even for close family weddings, we would just rsvp no and maybe send a quick "Congrats, wish I could be there" to the couple.

I agree with you - I don't need any lengthy explanation from someone on why they can't attend. A simple "Sorry, but I won't be able to attend" is sufficient for me.

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I agree with this! For most people, no explanation is needed. But I personally would rather have a RSVP 'no' than just no response, just so I had a solid number to give to the caterer and I wouldn't be stressed hoping they didn't just show up.

But for some people, I would kind of want a conversation. I would probably be rubbed the wrong way if a good friend or close family member simply RSVP'd 'no' without any duscussion - not that I would try to sway them into coming, I just would want the courtesy of a phone call if they were missing my wedding day and they were an important person to my fiancé or I

View Quoted Comment That is fair, I suppose if they were nervous about Covid and decided not to come, it would make sense that they would say something. There are probably a lot more people that really want to go, but just don't feel safe in groups anymore.

So with everyone! Why do people feel the need to explain why? No is a complete sentence!

Would definitely prefer just a simple yes or no. One of the people we invited RSVP'd no and then reached out to my husband to explain why, and the explanation didn't quite make sense. We would've preferred just hearing 'no' instead of getting caught up on the weird nuances of her reasoning. I would only offer or expect an explanation if I was extremely close with the person and the 'no' was a surprise. With COVID, declines are not surprising, and we did our best to articulate that we'd understand even if our closest family and friends were not comfortable attending.

Just rsvp no. No explanation necessary

I give no explanation, as is traditional, and I expect no explanation. One of my younger sisters asked people (phone reply optional), though not for lack of my parents teaching her that was rude. She stopped asking after several did tell her, but did not know how to politely cut off those telling her without being asked, because they did not know that is an etiquette faux pas, TMI that gets personal.
Some I remember - the detailed explanation of preparations for husband having surgery to reduce hemorrhoids the next morning, their favorite team won the playoffs berth, so even though they had accepted they were now declining. They have the only really big screen TV among the guys the guy knows. They did not think the drive was worth it. Mother in law would be visiting the two previous weeks and they needed a weekend to themselves after that, Mom was such a bidch. ( mom also a guest coming with her husband.)
Wife won a prize ticket for her Bingo, but has to be there in person the night of their monthly drawing to claim the prize. Dog drank some antfreeze, and now is incontinent 'both ways', hubby does not like any of the meals, but wife is coming. Baby seemed like it might come early, because mommy peeing and farting all the time, and 2-3 girlfriends or wives having period that day, but guys coming anyways. ...My sister was so depressed, she did not want to go to her own wedding, though 200 plus accepted and had a fine time. She will always look at these people differently. It would have been better if she had just assumed any who could not come had another friend or family wedding, or could not get off work.

For me it depends on the person, but I honestly would rather them just say yes or no lol.

The only guests I would want, or hope, to get an explanation from are those that we KNOW aren't currently practicing any safety measures. Only because I feel like it's rude to pick and choose when you want to practice covid safety measures. If you can go to a birthday party with 30+ people, go to a restaurant, not wear a mask everyday, act like everything's back to normal, then you should have no problem coming to my wedding.

Ugh please please please just RSVP with a yes or no, guests. If you want to say, "We wish we could be there, but we are sending our love for the big day," that's fine. But please spare me the 30-min spiel on how you have exercise-enduced asthma and you feel that any events right now are irresponsible and you wish I would wait and blahblahblah.

Covid brides know how everyone feels. We get that some people might not feel safe coming. You don't have to tell us your life story about it. Please stop doing this, guests.

I explanation is needed honestly. We know if there’s a note and at this time then there’s a 95%chance that it’s due to covid. I have an aunt who let me know she’ll only come if her husband also can get vaccinated in time as she is. So some guests will give an explanation if they wish but it’s not required and a no is completely understood.

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Yeah I think I feel like it is probably due to covid. I have family who won't go to events with people they don't know, or won't go to big events, or want to be vaccinated before they go anywhere, and that's all fine. I just feel like I don't need to know the specifics.

Ick. What a terrible article.

Especially in these times, all this does is set the bride and groom up for a bunch of "you are so irresponsible to be having a wedding in a pandemic" at worst, and a bunch of guilt trips of "I wish I could come, but I'm high risk" at best. Cannot fathom why an article on a wedding website would suggest to guests that they should inundate the couple with guilt trips.

I am firmly of the "yes or no" crowd.

As a host, I don't want to be made to feel bad by my guests. Of course, the current situation is COVID19, but there will always be something - "it's too far," "I can't get someone to watch the kids," and so on. There will always be at least one reason that makes you feel like an ungracious host (you selected a venue that is far, you're going child-free, you picked a date that is significant to a guest in some way.)

On the other side, as a person with social anxiety, I hate when I get asked "why" I'm not attending. The honest answer most of the time is "I'm anxious and paranoid of being around people." Just accept my "no" and leave me alone.

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I agree that I don't want to be asked why. FH and I were invited to 6 weddings this year. They are all for fairly important people in our lives, but they all require us to fly and pay for hotels and we can't afford to do so this year. So we decided that we will go to the 2 family weddings and the one wedding that FH was asked to be a groomsman in. In a perfect world, we would love to go to all of them, but if asked why we couldn't come, we would have to either admit that we can't afford it and that we had to choose other people's instead or make up some lie.