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Expert June 2020

What would you do

Emly, on May 29, 2020 at 11:02 PM Posted in Planning 0 6

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I need help yall.. my heart hurts.

So my wedding is in a week and everything was set to go after being planned and replanned close to 5 times now. We are determined to be married on June 6th, its just our day and we are so ready to be married already. Well it seems like everything is trying to take this day away from us.. ontop of the pandemic we are located in Minnesota and with the current events it seems just weird to me to keep on as normal. We are in an area that is far away from any riots and our community is safe but still, I'm just so disappointed in my state right now.. on top of all of this FHs grandma is going into a nursing home this week and will be unable to attend our small ceremony.. this was unplanned and there was no way of knowing but it just seems like the cherry on top of all of this.. His mom (as she should be) is just so sad over all of this. His grandmother has dementia and really doesn't know who anyone is, so its just hard..
I am so heartbroken.. should we cancel this wedding we have so much time and effort into??.. FH is out of town at the moment so I guess I am just looking for some comfort..

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6 Comments

Master August 2019
Rebecca · on May 30, 2020 at 1:11 AM
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry your state is hurting, I'm sorry about your FGIL, it's just... everything is just so much.
Give it the night. Try to breathe a little, turn off the news, and take care of yourself.
Don't make any decisions until your FH gets home.
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Super November 2020
Mindy · on May 30, 2020 at 7:33 AM
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My great grandma was in a nursing home when my cousin got married. We made a point to go visit and take pictures with her before the ceremony. No one was in their wedding outfits, but it was still nice to have her included in the day somehow.
I personally wouldn’t cancel your wedding. In times of darkness, it is important to shine hope and light. I think the wedding will be beneficial for you and your family as a moment to get away from everything else.
But I definitely agree with the PP, don’t make any decisions without your FH. Sometimes they are the rock and steady hand you need to navigate the roughest waters.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on May 30, 2020 at 11:30 AM
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If you know you want to be married, I wouldn't cancel your wedding. It seems like the wedding could be the light in all this darkness!
My husband's grandmother wasn't able to make our wedding either and it was really upsetting. She lives across the country and just wasn't healthy enough to travel (my father in law took her for a 2 hour car ride and she came back from it so exhausted that she had to take a nap, so we figured a 6 hour plane trip would not be possible for her at that point...) She's the relative that my husband is the closest to, so it was really upsetting for him to not have her there.
What we ended up doing was hiring a videographer (if you don't have one don't worry... maybe ask a family member or a friend to take a video during your ceremony though?) and we watched the video with her when we visited her about 9 months after the wedding. She was SO happy and said she felt like she was there with us. The video was a really great way for her to feel like she had been involved.
Good luck! I hope everything works out for you dear. Things will get better.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on May 30, 2020 at 3:25 PM
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It’s terrible to hear about all of the situations you’re facing. Believe me, I understand..... my sister passed away a month after FH proposed, 1 of FH friends took his own life in September, his other good friend died in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago and of course there’s the pandemic. All of those events have had an impact on our wedding. But it goes to show that no matter how much we plan, we can’t avoid life’s curveballs and we have to keep going. Unfortunately, waiting on for “perfect” time will never come. So, I wouldn’t cancel (especially this late) and I also don’t think our friends/family want us to do that either. I realize that couples want the wedding day to be “perfect”. But that’s just unrealistic and it’s one of the main reasons why we’re not postponing our October date.
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Dedicated October 2021
Katie · on May 30, 2020 at 3:27 PM
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I’m so sorry I’m in Minnesota too and cried reading this!!! Good luck to whatever you decide to do. What a tough decision to make, I don’t know what I would do.
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Just Said Yes May 2022
· on May 30, 2020 at 3:38 PM
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It's hard with everything that's going on, as Rebecca mentioned earlier take a breath. Have a chat with people where Nan is and possibly do skype on a phone or ipad during the wedding ceremony, if not take 5 mins after the ceremony to call/facetime/skype Nan then to show she's missed maybe that will work for both Nan and mum make them both a little happier. But don't make rash decisions. They all now the situation is what it is, it's not a reflection on you two. Seems you've tried everything so love will overcome as they say!! YOU GOT THIS!! :-)
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