Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated October 2018

What would you do?

Susie , on October 4, 2018 at 8:42 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 26

Saved

Flag
Hide content

A guest invited to my wedding was due with her baby September 30th. So a little backstory. Prior to her RSVP she told me she wanted to come but wasn’t sure what to do since her she safe was so close to the wedding (it’s Saturday) I let her wait until the very last minute (when my final count was due) to make a decision. When I reached out she asked me if I’d lose money if she said she was coming and didn’t. Then she said if she didn’t come she’d reimburse me for the dinners. I’m not sure why she even mentioned this because If she doesn’t come, I’m not going to ask her for any kind of reimbursement, it’s not about that at all.

fast forward to today. She still hasn’t had the baby. Based on what she said a few weeks ago, she’s planning on coming since she hasn’t had the baby. Now I’m freaking out that this woman is going to go into labor during my wedding ceremony or reception.

Is there any scenario in which I can suggest she stays home? I tried to suggest she just decline the invite but obviously she did not. What would you do?

Flag
Hide content

26 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on October 5, 2018 at 4:56 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 4, 2018 at 8:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
Why would you suggest she doesn't come? First of all, the odds of her going into labor in the 7 or 8 hours she's at your wedding, are pretty slim. Second of all, she's going to have warning signs. She won't just be dancing or in the middle of dinner and go into full on labor. It seems you're worried she's going to steal your shine, and you shouldn't be. You essentially want to to uninvite her because she's pregnant.
- Reply
September 2020
Kayla · on October 4, 2018 at 9:05 PM
Flag

Hide content
I agree with the pp! If you aren’t worried about the money then why would anything else matter. I’m sure she would be able to manage what’s going on with her body and act accordingly.
- Reply
Dedicated October 2018
Susie · on October 4, 2018 at 9:05 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I Don’t want to uninvite her because she’s pregnant. I want her to stay home because number one from what I understand, the end of pregnancy is fairly miserable. I don’t want her to feel like she has to come and most likely be uncomfortable because she knows that I paid for her /or she’s worried about reimbursing me. This is the reason I let her know it was ok to decline in the first place. I didnt want her to feel obligated to be at my wedding if she had a newborn.
- Reply
Dedicated October 2018
Susie · on October 4, 2018 at 9:06 PM
Flag

Hide content
And yes, the irrational, I’m getting married in two days and I’ve been planning this for 14 months so it better be perfect is absolutely afraid this woman is going to go into labor
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 4, 2018 at 9:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

She knows better than you do how she's feeling. If she wanted to decline, I'm sure she would. I can't think of any scenario where it's okay to "suggest" that any of your invited guests decline their RSVP.
- Reply
Super August 2019
Tina · on October 4, 2018 at 9:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
Let her come. More than likely she will either have the lil one before then or after. If she goes in labor on your day l don't think it will take her but a minute to get up and get going. I hope its a great day! No worries
- Reply
Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on October 4, 2018 at 9:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
If she's feeling up to it, you should just let her come. She knows her body better than anyone else.
- Reply
Master June 2016
Sarah · on October 4, 2018 at 9:17 PM
Flag

Hide content
All pregnant people are different and all pregnancies are different. With my first, I was ready to be done being pregnant 5 months in. With my second, I woke up and worked out the morning I was being induced. If she’s saying she wants to come she likely feels fine and will leave if she starts to go into the early stages of labor.
- Reply
Devoted May 2021
Stacy · on October 4, 2018 at 9:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
If she feels comfortable going. . I say have her be there. If she went into labor I'm sure she would quietly leave without making a scene.
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 4, 2018 at 10:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Then you shouldn't have invited her. If her due date is this close, I would assume that her pregnancy was already known when you sent out invitations two months or so ago. This also isn't a movie, women don't typically just go into labor randomly without a single sign that it's coming.
- Reply
0000
Mim · on October 4, 2018 at 10:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
She is an adult who can make her own choices. Most women keep living normal life, with all it's events, up until labor. Don't try to make a decision for her based on a concern that likely won't pan our. Should she get too uncomfortable she'll leave. If her labor starts, she'll leave. If she's not having any issues, she'll stay.
- Reply
Dedicated October 2018
Susie · on October 4, 2018 at 10:49 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Unfortunately I didn’t make it a point to memorize her due date. Do I think it’s likely she’ll go into labor at my wedding? No. I already said it was irrational. I appreciate your friendly advice !
- Reply
Expert August 2019
Amanda · on October 4, 2018 at 10:55 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think you should still let her come. If she is uncomfortable or anything like that, she will know and tell you she can’t make it. Enjoy your day!
- Reply
Master September 2019
Colleen · on October 4, 2018 at 11:02 PM
Flag

Hide content
If she goes into labor it will not be a major thing. She will be able to leave quickly and quietly. For most women it takes a few hours to have a baby.
- Reply
Master September 2019
Colleen · on October 4, 2018 at 11:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Most weddings have some kind of hiccup or some small thing happen. Never been to a perfect wedding.My suggestion will be to try not to worry about every little small thing being perfect cause anything can happen. You will not have fun or good memory that way To enjoy the day and the people you invited. She is one of the people you wanted to enjoy the day with. If something happens I am sure she will leave quick and quietly.
- Reply
Champion December 2017
earias · on October 4, 2018 at 11:34 PM
Flag

Hide content
I agree with the other PPs that this is not the issue you think it is. Women don't just spit out a baby when they go into labor. If this were my friend/guest I would not put my vision of having a perfect wedding over having her there to celebrate my joy.
- Reply
Savvy February 2019
belleofabride · on October 4, 2018 at 11:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
Let her make her own decision
- Reply
Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on October 5, 2018 at 10:03 AM
Flag

Hide content
Sounds like she wants to come. She’s not coming just bc she said yes— she said yes bc she wants to go to your wedding!
Youre DEFINITELY overthinking. It’s not like there’s any risk of her starting shrieking during your wedding and suddenly a baby pops out. If she’s having contractions, she’ll stay home or slip out quietly. This really is not a thing to worry about AT ALL. If she happens to go into labor at your wedding, you probably will have no idea, unless she tracks you down to say “bye I gotta run to the hospital”
- Reply
Devoted September 2018
Mel · on October 5, 2018 at 10:15 AM
Flag

Hide content
Maybe just check in with her? If your venue is far from the place she intends to deliver she may not come for that reason. However, if she’s up for it, I don’t think you should ask her to stay home. As others have stated, her going into labour probably will not take the spotlight away from you.
- Reply

Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on October 5, 2018 at 10:23 AM
Flag

Hide content
You're doing too much. She is a grown up. If she doesn't think she can make it, she won't come. You need to stay in your lane and focus on the things that you can control.
- Reply