What to go over with your Bridesmaids?

I expect nothing of my bridesmaid and matron of honor. My sister is moving out of state and my daughter is underage. I will pick out colors that are ok and my dress. Then my daughter and I will buy her dress. My sister will get a color to go with and that the dress is long,short or in between. She will get the choice of what she wears. Since my daughter is underage my sister would be the one to host any pre-wedding parties for me. How they wear their hair, makeup or jewlery will be up to them. I might take my daughter and have her's done professioinally when I get mine done. I just want them there and by my side.

That depends on how set you are in your vision of what you want your BMs to look like.

Since my WP is small I really wanted them all to wear the same dress. So we went to the bridal shop and I had them both try them on to see what looked good on both of them (no small task as it seemed if it looked good on one, it looked bad on the other-different body types). I knew what color I wanted and that I wanted them to have the same dress, but I wasn't set on a particular dress.

We also discussed hair and makeup and what everyone was comfortable with. Since my MOH has shorter hair I told her not to worry about an updo. Even my BM with long hair I told her she could do an updo if she wants but I'm not going to make it mandatory.

LOL after shdvls comment I sound a little bridezilla! Ha ha! Really I have a vision in my mind but I'm more open to what makes them happy.

The only thing I talked to them about was to let them know what the colors for the wedding were. I let them know we were having a formal wedding and the colors were white, black, and silver. After that I haven't really said anything to them about the wedding. They got to pick their own dresses, if they want they can get their hair and make up done pro with me and they are asked to participate in the rehearsal if they can. I pretty much just don't want to deal with any drama so I am keeping it as simple as possible.

Konichiwa, hey my wedding party have over 20 years between them. My daughter is 13 my sister is 3 years my elder and I just turned 20 when my dauther was born.The dresses that my sister will like would be too adult for my then 15 year old daughter. My Fh threw another monkey wrench in to my plans by saying my son(10 and walking me down the aisle) can wear green I had a color theme of dark blue, silver and white I was planning around. So now I think my sister and son will be wearing deep green, My daughter and the best man in deep blue. FH and I will have silver accents. Fh wants to be different than the other males in tuxes. My ringbearer (2 yr ds) will even be in a tux. FH is groomzilla nothing but tuxes his orders LOL.

I agree with VegasBride. I kept it as simple as possible as well. My sister is my MOH, but she is underage so my BM planned the bachelorette. My sister hasn't really done anything, as she's a teenager and it's just not "her thing". I knew that when I asked her and am okay with that. It was more important for me to have her by my side on the big day. My BM has helped me with planning as far as being there for me to bounce ideas off of. I don't really expect much from them. I did ask them to help set things up and attend the rehearsal. BM took the day off to help and my sister does cyber school so she will be able to help set up. Other than those things, they were pretty much on their own. They both got to pick out their outfits, hair, make-up, shoes, etc. The only thing (as far as that is concerned) is that I asked them to show me before purchasing just so I felt okay that everything would look right. My sister still hasn't tried her outfit on (I bought it for her) and...

...I'm not even worried about it. Now that I've written a book (LOL), I think you need to do whatever you feel comfortable with. Like pp said, it depends on what your vision for the day is!

Amy J. My kids go to a virtual school also. My daughter is just starting her day at 2 pm on the west coast. Got to love school.

I've only got a MOH... and I'm pretty much letting her do as she likes. I initially told her to wear whatever she wanted... even down to the color. But she has since convinced me to create a color scheme, so now I'm asking her to wear eggplant purple. Whether she wants to buy a new dress or wear a nice one that she already owns is her choice. Her hair and such are her choice as well. As far as "duties" go... I'm not assigning her any. I just want her to be there with me. Because she's my best friend, I know that she's going to volunteer to do some stuff... and that's great. I want it to be volunteered though, rather than expected/asked for/demanded by me. She's been great already... was proactive in taking me dress shopping... keeps reminding me that I'll want to replace my awful glasses with something that I'll like, etc. She'd do those things for me even if she wasn't my MOH though, 'cause that's how she is as a friend.

I was planning to go over the dress that I had picked out and get mearsurements. Also let everyone get each contact number for the planning of the parties for me. Just want them to have fun and make it to rehersal. We will do some girl talk like hair styles, make up, what type of shoes for the dress jewerly etc. I want them to know all the detail such as wedding, having the MOH control of the gifts and money etc, helping me to get into my second dress.