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Elmarose
Expert July 2021

What to do with plus ones ? Help!

Elmarose, on June 16, 2020 at 11:50 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 18
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My fiancé and I are torn between adding plus one’s. Our set limit is 300+ and are currently at 275 without plus ones. What is the general rule when it comes to plus ones?
Some of our friends and family want a plus one just because they don’t want to go alone but is it rude to not give them one because of that?
I feel a relationship is essential and if they are then I would be willing to give them one but is it rude to not give a plus one if they are just dating or a close friend of theirs?How did you work around the plus ones? Did you include them or not?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Elmarose, on June 22, 2020 at 3:44 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Plus ones are for single guests, not ones that are "dating" or in a relationship. (is that not the same thing..?) Couples are social units and should be invited to events as such. It's not necessary to give plus ones to single guests, although it is polite if they won't know other guests.

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    Plus ones are for truly single people and at the discretion of the couple. If they are dating someone specific, then that person should be invited by name on the invitation. It isn't really up to anyone outside that relationship to judge the seriousness of it. We gave plus ones, but we only had 4 people on our list who were truly single, and only 1 of those people brought a plus one (her sister). If people are traveling a long distance for your wedding and/or may not know many people, it's usually nice to give those people a plus one.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    If someone is in a relationship at the time invitations go out (6-8 weeks before the wedding) they should both be invited by name. If they are single a plus one isn’t necessary.
    • Reply
  • Emma
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    We are doing plus ones for out of town guest who don’t know anyone else coming, married couples, couples who live together, and couples that have been together for over 6 months. The only in town single that is getting a plus one is my little brother 😂 he’ll be 17 and it gives him the option to bring a friend or a date.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I did give plus ones to some people who were kind of introverted and i knew were not gonna be comfortable alone

    • Reply
  • Alisa
    Devoted October 2021
    Alisa ·
    • Flag
    We decided that if you haven't been with your partner longet than 6 months then you wouldn't be getting a plus one. Also no other family members or friend of a friend. For example my FH brother wanted to bring his mother in law so she could watch their kid, that was a big NO.
    If you are strict make sure you are strict all the way around and no exceptions.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica Online ·
    • Flag
    Couples should be invited as such so couples who are dating, engaged, living together, etc. both people should be invited. Plus ones are for people that are 100% single meaning they aren't dating or otherwise seeing someone.
    • Reply
  • Super August 2020
    ·
    • Flag

    None of your family members need to bring a random (to you) guest, they know each other. If your friends know each other, they don't need plus ones either. If you are inviting any friends who won't know other people or aren't part of a friend group that's going to be there, it would be nice to let them bring someone. We only gave nameless plus ones to our siblings, a groomsman who will be traveling to the wedding, and a couple of elderly relatives who wouldn't be able to attend without a helper.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    We gave plus ones only to those in serious relationships (as in, long enough that we *knew* the partner, best man trying to get his 'oh, now you have a girlfriend' invited week of the wedding being a prime example of NO), mostly because we didn't want people we didn't know at our smallish wedding.

    It's really a line you two have to draw based on budget and comfort - but it has to be a really strict line. DH was a little more soft than I was, and I had to put my foot down, but it caused some problems in the invites for a bit.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    You have to invite any social unit and that is not considered a plus one.

    For example, if one of your friends is in a committed relationship, that is a social unit. Both should be invited with their names on the invite.

    Now, if one of your friends is causal dating around. He is not a part of a social unit. You are welcome to just invite him or give him a plus one.

    We choose no plus ones, but we made sure anyone in a social unit got invited.

    • Reply
  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
    • Flag

    I only gave plus ones to selective singles.

    All couples(married,engaged,long term) were invited as such couples.

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag

    I am inviting everyone in a relationship with their partner, and giving plus ones to my five "single" guests.

    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Many people skip the plus ones. They are never a required thing and many couples don't want to pay $$$$ for strangers who don't care about them.

    I have never understood why people think that singles require a date to a wedding or else they can't possibly enjoy themselves and wouldn't know anyone else. The single guest is much less awkward among friends and family than their date who knows no one.

    Inviting someone's spouse/significant other is mandatory but you don't need to invite anyone who is a flavor of the month.
    Do what works for you but if space and budget are a concern, skip the plus ones.
    • Reply
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2021
    Elmarose ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you very much for your advice! I'm going to definitely implement this for our wedding invitations!

    • Reply
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2021
    Elmarose ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for your advice.

    What I meant by dating was like some of our friends are dating so many different people all the time and we don't want them to choose some random person the don't truly have a connection with to be at our wedding. If they are in a relationship or dating for a while then obviously we would include both.

    Having a 300+ wedding is expensive enough with the food + beverages and we don't want random people we have never met at our wedding unless of course they are someone else's partner.

    what I do like is implementing the +1 for our guest who don't know anyone at the wedding. It past right by me given that around 275 is just family and the rest will be close friends. Thank you all! and congratulations !

    • Reply
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2021
    Elmarose ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2021
    Elmarose ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I can only imagine! that is exactly how I feel! and my FH wants to give plus ones to almost everyone and our guest list keeps increasing.

    • Reply
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2021
    Elmarose ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks Jana! appreciate it !

    • Reply

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