What to do with people who just won't RSVP?

If you have reached out to them in several ways and they have yet to respond I would count them out. Unless there is something seriously going on and they are unable to reply I'd say just forget it.

I would just count them as a "no." I think some people don't respond because they're too embarrassed to tell you they aren't attending. You've really done all you can do at this point.

I would also tell that that if you don't hear from them by XX date, unfortunately you will not be able to accomodate them at the wedding as your vendors required a final head count already.

I had the same problem. We also have a 60 person min. I had to call a few people more than once. After several calls there is one aunt on grooms side that never mailed it. I passed the message along that she is an automatic no, so don't bother showing up!

I agree with Cristi & Ryan but good to have a back up plan. I have heard that their is a certain rate or no shows...but it also sounds like their is a certain rate or people that show up that didn't rsvp or said no originally. Hopefully it comes out in the wash.

If you have already attempted contact with no response, there is nothing more you can do. Clearly they are not interested in communicating with you and aren't coming.

Occasionally a bride on the forums will mention that a few non-responders have shown up. There are also emergencies (sickness, death, accidents, etc) that can happen so if you get a non-responder who shows up, you can generally accommodate them because of the no-show factor.

I had two no-shows -- both were in their 80s and one was hospitalized. We had one non-responder and I didn't even bother to call or follow up. The person lived out of state, is inconsiderate by nature (a relative who is estranged from many family members but who knew about the wedding and knew she was invited) and I put her down as a "No" and never bothered with it again.

Don't stress over this. Give the best number you can and let the vendors deal with it on the day.

Some brides will recommend that you send a note reminding the person that the deadline has passed and that you "can't accommodate" them unless they let you know they're coming. I think this is bad form personally and I mean no offense to anyone who has done this. I just think asking ONE TIME "Do you think you'll be at the wedding?" is enough. They don't need you to tell them that you "can't accommodate" them. Any reasonable person would know that and it's just...idk...a little too blatant or presumptuous or something.

Do your best to estimate their ability to show up based on personal experience. (Are they flaky? Do they show up for other events? Are they responsible human beings?)

That's all you can do. Good luck!

I think you should send one final nice message that says, since we have not heard from you, we accept that you will not be able to attend our wedding. If something changes and you can attend, please let us know ASAP. Good luck!

I gave them a "I need to know by tonight because I have to give the caterer a final number by this evening." Then if you don't here - count 'em out!

Count them out. You shouldn't have to hand-hold and if you've given each person a few attempts, you've done more than your part.

My deadline is Thursday and we are still missing over 20 RSVPs.

My deadline is next monday and out of about 75 we've only gotten back about 10 RSVP's. I'm stressed to the max

If this were to happen to me, I would send them a nice fb message or text saying sorry we didn't get your RSVP, we're assuming you're a "no" unless you tell us otherwise by tomorrow.

FutureMrsS and Sammy, you'll get a boatload this week and for a few days afterwards....fret not.

I would also follow up with them on the matter, just to be clear that they are now considered a no. I'd rather be 'rude' this way than have them show up and not be able to be accommodated which would make me look bad as the hostess.

RSVP's are crazy. Our final date was last Friday. 2 weeks prior to the dead line I wrote a nice fb message asking for RSVP's. Last week I went hard and just straight up asked people. I also had our Mom's help find out. I do however have 2 unknowns out there. I am assuming since I haven't heard anything they will be a no, and like u I have tried to reach them with nothing. We live in a world of "maybes".

No, I would put in for the minimum of 60 people. i would contact the people and let them know they have two more days to get a response to you or you will mark them as a decline. If you still do not here from them, then do not count them. Put in your 60 people and if they come to the wedding and there is not enough room, then they need to be sent home. Period!!!! some people are so rude, and you don't have time to cater to anyone. Its a yes or no question, if they can't decide, then you need to decide for them, and keep it moving. Good luck to you.

Count them out.

Reach out one final time with a deadline, and if you don't hear back from them you will be counting them as a no. Be sure to say this so they don't think it's ok to just show up!

Are they Hispanic lol? Spanish people will NOT RSVP. im having the same problem. dear jesus, its impossible for anyone in my family to send a fricken rsvp that is already addressed and stamped -_- I wouldn't count them out. there are just people who WILL NOT RSVP

If you have tried multiple times, its doubtful that trying one more time will get a response. They're a no. I would send them a message after you submit your final headcount to your caterer letting them know that since they didn't respond by the time you finalized your guest list with your caterer, that you can't accommodate them being in attendance.

You've done all you can do-some people are just rude a-holes when it comes to the RSVP. We still have no response from 4 invitations-we aren't saving seats for these clowns. It's a buffet so no biggie if they do show up but I'm not holding my breath. It's far less stressful once you decide the count's final!