What to do with an RSVP one week before your wedding?

Call her and explain the situation honestly. It sounds like you can accommodate her (whew) but tell her the seating issue and let her decide.

Did you not follow up with your unanswered RSVPs? You just assumed she wasn't coming?

I followed up with everyone but her and one other single individual. They were both people I haven't talk to in some time and honestly slightly regretted inviting after the fact. Anyways, I don't understand why she could not have least txt or e-mailed me or responded on my wedding website to let me know it would be getting to me so late instead of dropping a card in the mail a week before our wedding. In two days we are traveling 2,000 miles to the wedding in my hometown and have plenty to deal with once we get to the location (marriage licence, engagement photos, meeting with officiant, first ever venue walk-through, accommodating traveling guests, etc..).

Eek, well that's one for hindsight.

I'd call her and explain. This is partly on you. It's not OK for her to expect to be accommodated a month after the deadline, but you also neglected to check in and assume the outcome.

Let her know you'd be happy to have her, but that you cannot accommodate her plus one. I wouldn't even explain further at this point: she wasn't offered one to begin with, no need to add one now given it's rude of her to just invite someone along in the first place.

I would talk to her and tell her you can't accommodate her since she RSVPed past the deadline. Tell her she will be missed but that unfortunately she can't come because you already submitted the final count

She should have rsvp'd.

You should have followed up when she didn't.

It's a toss up whether you want to accommodate her or not.

You never followed up. While she didn't rsvp, people forget. You're the host. It's your job to double check before you get to this point. You could have saved yourself a lot of stress. Call her and be honest. I agree with what Megan said.

Sounds like you intentionally chose not to follow-up with her because as you said, you really didn't want her there. So tell her final numbers are submitted and that unfortunately you can't accommodate her.

Interesting that many people think it is a requirement to follow up. Etiquette (well Emily Post which I research when I have an etiquette question) doesn't state this is a requirement while it is not against etiquette to give a follow up call. Maybe I should have called but it is a week until the wedding and I have been working 12 hour days for four weeks trying to get caught up on work while planning two wedding receptions (we are having one in my Fiance's hometown in October to accommodate his family so they don't have to travel). I don't feel the need to put more stress over this on my plate. Anyways, I told her the truth, that I had requirements to our venue and caterer to give final numbers two weeks in advanced which is why our RSVP deadline was 8/16 (it is now less than 1 week to the wedding when we received her RSVP) and I wish I had known she wanted to come earlier. Thanks for the advice!

Well...you followed up with literally everyone else so you know that it's important to. People get last minute guests all the time but it seems more like you just don't want her there now. Which could have been avoided had you not sent her an invite.

Am I the only one curious on if she's going or not? Did you accommodate them or did she apologize? Wondering how your conversation was received. I know people are super hesitant for these kinds of things - was it as bad as you expected or not a big deal after all?

I'm wondering too!

What if she did drop her rsvp in the mail before the deadline? We hear stories all the time about mail getting lost and then turning up months later. But that's neither here nor there at this point. You should have followed up when you called everyone else, regardless of your post invite regret. Call her now, explain that unfortunately you can not accomodate the extra plus one she added and if that means she can't make it you tell her she will be missed at the wedding.

What did you end up doing?

Update please!!

Following, because I am curious about what you did also.

That is a sticky situation, and I don't necessarily think you were wrong in not following up. In hindsight it would have been better, because you could've avoided this awkward situation, but she is really the inconsiderate one for RSVPing SO late and giving herself a plus one on top of that. This post is really helpful to me though...my FH has a couple people he has invite-regret over and doesn't want to follow up with because he's hoping they won't come. Now there is no way in hell I'm going to let him "assume" they won't show up. At least you got an RSVP, albeit very late. What if she had just shown up with a guest and you didn't have seats for them? Oy.

Her invitation may have gotten delayed getting to her, her RSVP may have been delayed getting to the OP, or she may have really just responded late. Only the third scenario makes her inconsiderate as far as the late response is concerned.

Call your caterer! See if they CAN do some extra food, if it's not already.