What to do when people assume that they are invited?

I think you did the right thing. I was the same way. Why sugar coat it...

You handled it well.

We had people that assumed, and it was far enough out that we told them, "we haven't finalized the guest list but our venue is small so we know that we won't be able to invite everyone, unfortunately. We plan to keep things to close family and friends."

I think what you said is fine; if you had said something like "we will see," it implies that you will be invited and is more likely to invite hurt feelings than just being direct.

Um yes. My co workers non stop do this to me. & honestly I don't feel like I should have to answer them at all when they ask or assume that they're invited. Like okay. Whatever you wanna think.

But yeah, its fucking rude when you're paying $x amount per person, and people assume that they are coming along for the ride.

I think you did the right thing. One of my friend's friends invited themselves and I said "Sorry we're on a tight budget so we're keeping it small" And they said "I'll pay for my plate" so that was awkward.

I think you were fine. The person asking about an invitation was the one being rude. Lying or avoiding saying no would only make it worse later.

You handled it appropriately!

"We will see" is just stringing someone along and inviting future questioning. THAT response is far more cold than what you said. The bridesmaid was way off on that one.

I usually started out by stating that it was "mostly family." Only once did someone not get it and she kept asking if she could be invited and I had to be more blunt after several attempts to let her down easy did not work.

You're far enough out from your wedding that you could say for now that "we haven't finalized our guest list, yet" and change the subject. It's not wrong to just tell someone who is asking if they're invited, "I'm sorry, but due to the size of the venue, we're having a small wedding and couldn't invite everyone we wish we could." Or similar phrasing, but blame budget. Or, "I'm sorry, but we decided to have a small wedding with mostly family." Either way, I think it's important to pick a reason, state it kindly, and not drag out your reasoning.

You did the right thing.

I'm going through this now me and my best friend have mutual friends who over the years I drifted apart from them. During a recent event they started asking about the wedding. I felt really bad because I know I'm not inviting them so I simply replied we put the planning on hold so I can't really give you details. This is my go to with close family as well because everyone keeps pressuring me to do things and I usually shut down so this is my way of staying focused and not shutting down

@FME wow... Super awkward. I can't imagine your expression at that moment.

OP I think what you said was completely fine.

Nope, you are correct. Do not lead people on.

I have already had the same issue. Especially relatives we do not really speak with. Um, no, this is NOT a family reunion. I have had to make that clear to my FMIL a few times. I am not inviting distance cousins and neighbors of yours. No. You are not paying, if you want a family reunion...then you can plan and pay for one.

Co workers, nope. Sorry, if we do not hang out with each other outside of work, then I am sorry. This is not a work party, it is my wedding. NO.

Friends of the parents. NO. They are not paying, so they are not allowed to invite people.

I want my wedding to be people that are special to me...not a LOOK AT ME party for myself or the parents.

Invite the people that you are close with and care about and you know will still be in your life 15 years from now. Not to mention, not having to invite a bunch of randoms will save you a ton of cash for things that you would really like.

It's crazy how people just assume they are invited! I've gotten a few of those from "acquaintences" and long lost family that we've never even met! My fiance just got the one from a cousin he's never met but is friends with on FB. The cousin said "I better be invited!" Ugh. My friend got her STD and asked me if her sister was invited. I replied with the budgetary response..." due to budget constraints, unfortunately I couldn't invite Kim." People don't realize how rude those comments are and how it puts you on the spot! I think you handled it perfectly!

I had a coworker not talk to me for 48 hours after I was forced to explicitly tell her she's not invited. She's over it now though!

Honestly is the best option IMO!