I moved to Sweden last year to be with my now fiancé, and our wedding is in almost 4 weeks! We decided to have our wedding here vs Los Angeles (where I'm from) for a few different reasons but mainly because he has a much bigger family than I do. I knew that by choosing to have it here, many people from my side would not be able to come, which I was totally ok with and still am, and even mentioned on our invitation. That's also partly why I had a bridal shower when we visited for Thanksgiving last year. I wanted to make sure that my friends were included in whatever they could be included in, in case they wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. We actually have 20 people coming from the US which is surprising and awesome and I'm relieved it's not more than that, to be honest. But I'm having a weird thing with my best friend right now and I would love some advice.
We have been friends since we were 7 years old (so that's 27 years). Let's call her Olivia. She's the kind of friend who would do anything for me, if she could. So I'm not exactly taking this personally because I know it's not on purpose, but it's making me feel uneasy. I feel like if you consider someone to be your best friend, you should be able to be honest with them. And she and her girlfriend (let's call her Teresa) have been avoiding talking to me about my wedding like the plague for the past few weeks.
After we sent our invitations in February, Olivia (bff) told me she was putting in the request at work to take the time off, and then she updated me when the request went through. Teresa (who is the planner of the two, her girlfriend) was often texting me asking me for travel and accommodations advice, seemingly trying to plan their trip. A month or two after that, Teresa told me she was going to propose to her while in Sweden so that I could be a part of it since my best friend would want that, which was so touching and made me so happy. But not long after I just had a feeling that they weren't coming. Every other guest updated me whenever they were booking their tickets, but these two weren't saying anything. At one point, I asked Teresa if they still needed help with their travel just to see if I could get her to tell me they could no longer come, but she just ignored the text, which is so unlike her, and it happened a few times. So I stopped trying.
Teresa also ended up proposing to my best friend on her birthday last week, saying to me that she just "couldn't wait" which I was completely understanding of, but again.. that would've been the perfect opportunity to be honest and say "we actually realized we just can't make this trip. we're so sorry" but again.. radio silence.
Olivia literally texted me yesterday, apologized for her texts being so scattered lately (we had been texting about their engagement), saying things have been super crazy there, a lot going on with work, it takes up so much brain space, but "how are things in sweden?" like.. what? How about my wedding which you have been ignoring talking to me about? I'm not upset, just baffled that they're avoiding this and not being honest with me. We're 34, not 7!
But I guess there's nothing I can do. Would appreciate any advice or if you've gone through something similar with someone you're close to, I'd love for you to share your story.