What to do about those who passed away?

We're in a similar situation- some of those who left us didn't leave behind the greatest of legacies. Because of this we're opting out of displaying photos. Instead we're having our officiant include a prayer for those who are with us in spirit in his opening words.

We are doing something small near where the card box and guest book will be. I made a sign and went on Walmart's website and ordered an 11 x 14 sized collage of all the people who had passed. This way we still have something but don't have 100 pictures to set up.

We're only putting two pictures up. Her mom's and our friend who brought us together. I have plenty of people that have passed in my life, but we chose to edit the pictures we include. Some passed when I was young, two were my in-laws from my first marriage, and others have a difficult history in my life or would not have supported my marriage to another woman. We decided in the end that only those that would happily attend if they were alive would get a place on the table. It will be near the entrance of our venue.

We did a memorial table with a sign that said "you should be here". We had pictures of all our grandparents, aunts/uncles we were close to, family pets, some great grandparents, etc. Just people that were important to us or often talked about in our family.

Maybe you could ask your FFIL if he could wear a boutonniere charm like this one since you aren't planning to display photos of any other loved ones.

We’re doing something similar to the photos as well. We’re also having my grandmother, FSIL, FMIL, and my mother to light a candle right before they take their seat.

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I think that's a nice compromise. I completely understand not wanting a memorial table. That is a very personal decision. But now it's a bit awkward because your FFIL has announced he is doing it. Did your FH even have a relationship with his half brother?

I don't think you need to set up a whole table for this now, since you don't want that. If your FFIL doesn't accept a compromise of him wearing a memento and still insists on displaying a photo, then just designate a discrete place for it and leave it at that.

Don't feel pressured to display a bunch of other photos you don't want, and don't worry about what other people think you *should* do. This definitely falls into the category of "your wedding, your decision".

We will only have two pictures displayed. We each have one of our grandfathers that have passed so my Dad made this sign and we will place one picture on each side. I will also have their pictures tied on my bouquet. I'm still unsure where the sign will be placed.

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Never saw one of these before! That's a good idea. I will show them to see what they think!

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Yes, it kind of gets out of hand is how I feel with all these pictures now. I guess we could just do the one photo like you said. But I do like this clip idea. I was also going to see if FH could ask his dad if the officiant could just say something for the ceremony instead rather than photos. My FH did know his half brother for a bit. He has a tattoo on his back for him, but he feels the same way I do about people who have passed on. After quite a bit of time, the wounds heal. We are one in the same in that aspect.

I never really thought of doing a memory table when I was first married, at that time I had lost 3 of my 4 grandparents. I've since then been divorced for 16 years and about to get married again on nov 22,19. I lost my dad less than 2 years ago and my heart breaks every morning I wake up. I want more than anything to still incorporate him into my wedding day..I will have a photo of my dad and FH late dad as well on the mantel of the fireplace @ the venue we are getting married at. A small photo of my dad will be tied into my boquet as I walk myself down the aisle.

I’m putting pictures in frames, a little sign, and a lit candle on the piano.

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That's not so bad. We have a nice foyer area and a mantle with a fireplace at our venue. So maybe we can put it there rather than in the main banquet area. Thanks!

View Quoted Comment My thoughts exactly! I didn’t want it to be front and center making me sad all night!

We're only having 2 pictures of both of our grandfathers. Keeping it simple. They both meant a lot to us.

We are just doing a picture frame (maybe 14 x 18) and hanging twine from it and clothes pinning small pictures. We were originally going to do this because we both have grandparents we were close with that have since passed so it was just an honor thing. It was going to sit on the card table. It will say "We know you will be here today if heaven weren't so far away" My sister will get a picture on there as well but she will also have a picture in a small tiny frame around mine and my siblings bouquets. She recently passed and I didn't want anything to in my face as a reminder she won't be there for my day.

Was your FH close with this sibling? If not I think that would be a little weird and same with the grandparents. We are only opting to do it because The people we wish could be there meant something to us and aren't going to be there. If I didn't know or wasn't close with them we wouldn't have done this idea.

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Awhh I can't imagine losing a sister. I am sorry. My FH knew his brother for a little bit of time before he passed away during his youth. I think it's more so his father who is attached to the picture idea and I am not saying he can't since that was his son ya know. I talked with FH and we decided we are both fine with his dad just having a picture of his son and that's it, so we don't have to put all the others we didn't feel close to. We are not sure where we will place it yet. FH said what if he wants it at his table to eat and I said idk that's a little strange. We have a nice foyer area and a fireplace mantle at the venue so maybe somewhere there will be nice with a little saying.