Madison
Just Said Yes April 2021

What to do about the veil?

Madison, on December 30, 2020 at 3:29 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 13
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I'm getting married at the end of this coming April. I technically have a veil. It's my mother's and since she's no longer with us I wanted to honor her memory by wearing it for my wedding. It's 2 layers and cathedral length with a head cap (I think its called) that covers half the back of my head. Heres where I'm having trouble. I'm not a big fan of the head cap part. It's all jeweled and pearled out and alittle uncomfortable for me, but it's in direct contact with the veil, if it's gone itd be very hard if not unable to be put back. My dress is very simple and I'm not sure if it'll match (I had tried to find a dress that matched the veil but I didn't like any of them), but I'm scared to change it since it's my deceased mothers. Just wanted to hear the thoughts cause everyone I've asked has just said it's up to me.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Barbara, on December 31, 2020 at 2:25 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    If the veil is uncomfortable, don't wear it. Wear something else that you like better without deconstructing it.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    Hmmm can you take a Pic? Maybe there's a way to wear it in honor of her. Do you have something she you can wear in honor like old jewelry or do s picture charm of her?
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    If it’s too uncomfortable to make it through the ceremony, you could just have your photographer take some beautiful photos of you in it before the wedding- then you could still get that feeling of having your mom close to you before you walk down the aisle, and your hairstylist would still be there to fix your hair if it gets a little messed up putting on/taking off the veil.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag
    Can you take it to a seamstress and have them make a custom veil out of the tulle from your mother’s veil?
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Are you willing to alter it via a seamstress? I like the previous poster's idea about having your pics taken in it, then not wearing it for the ceremony.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Altering the veil a little would still honor your mother while also making it comfortable for you. A professional can do amazing things without causing any damage. It is work looking into.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    So many great ideas! Talk to a professional about altering it but don’t make any decisions until you’re ready. Once it’s cut, it can’t be uncut. The PP idea about getting your photographer to take pics of it before or after your ceremony is a good route if you don’t want to alter it.
    • Reply
  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag

    I like all of the ideas above! If the veil can't be altered and/or you don't want to wear it, you could also have it incorporated into the detail shots of your wedding, have some getting ready photos of you holding the veil, etc.

    No matter what you decide, it'll turn out lovely!

    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    Master February 2022
    Victorian Bride ·
    • Flag
    It sounds like your mother's veil has a Juliette Cap. I'm a veil designer. I'll be happy to give suggestions, if you can attach a photo. Also, if you can show your gown that would be very helpful. You may indeed ruin it if you try to change it. Hard to say without seeing it. I love the idea that you are honoring her memory. ❤
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this suggestion! You could always wear the veil beforehand (or even just after the ceremony for a few pictures) if you don't want to alter it.
    • Reply
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    I took my mom's veil (1972, three layers, cathedral) to a seamstress and she took it off the nasty pearled headband and put it on a plastic hair comb, no problems at all - cost me $25 and the comb

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super August 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Even if you remove a part that can't be put back its still your mother veil, you'll just be making it more of your own. If you don't want to take it apart have you considered getting a bouquet charm for a picture of her?
    • Reply
  • Barbara
    Dedicated March 2017
    Barbara ·
    • Flag

    You'd be surprised what a talented seamstress can do with alterations. Find some photos and talk to one or more before making a decision. I don't think disassembling/modifying it would be inappropriate. You're still honoring your mom; you don't have to have identical taste. If you're thinking of trying to preserve it as a family heirloom (for your daughter, perhaps?), tell her that and she can probably reassemble it after your alterations, depending of course on what they actually are. For my first wedding, I wore a tea-length dress with a fascinator. I had a seamstress take some of the lace from my mom's wedding gown to fashion the fascinator and it worked very well. The marriage, not so much! Second one's a keeper.

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