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Just Said Yes March 2018

What to do about a crappy groomsman?

Morgan, on January 31, 2018 at 1:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

My fiance is a really nice person to the point where he lets people walk all over him at times. His groomsmen are some of his "best friends" (I say this in quotes because they haven't been very friend-like during this process). Anyway, we set our date over a year in advance and he asked this specific guy to be his groomsman over a year ago as well. Most of our friends are from out of town so we have tried to be as accommodating as possible. Well this guy has complained about literally everything. The tux, the rehearsal dinner time, how much flights are (he didn't start looking until 1 month before), and how he has to pay for a hotel. I made sure my rehearsal was at 6pm the night before the wedding and had to pay extra for. We also offered him to stay at our place for the night before the wedding because I will be in a hotel with my girls. All he had to pay for was one night at a hotel and his plane ticket. I understand not being able to afford things but he could have started planning things months in advance. He also has friends in the wedding party he could have planned things with. With the wedding almost one month away I am frustrated because its really putting a damper on my fiances mood. He has now just told us that he's going to be "late" to the rehearsal...Like and hour late, obviously the rehearsal will not take more than an hour! I just don't even know what to do at this point or if there is anything I can do.

6 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on January 31, 2018 at 2:06 PM
  • Sunshine
    Super January 2019
    Sunshine ·
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    Don't worry about him missing the rehearsal, its really not necessary. He'll figure it out the day of the wedding.

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  • L
    Devoted June 2019
    Laurel ·
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    The best man and one of the groomsmen won’t be at the rehearsal. Our ceremony site only allows rehearsals on Thursday, and it didn’t make sense for them to fly across the country on Thursday and take an extra day off of work just you make it to the rehearsal.
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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    Not many weddings actually need a rehearsal at all, so let this one go.

    It is frustrating behavior, but you can make a conscious choice to not let this guy push your buttons. So can your FH. I doubt this is a total change of behavior for this guy. He has probably been like this before in their relationship, but your FH chose him anyway.

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  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·
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    The rehearsal is not a big deal as others have said. It's annoying he is complaining about finances when he had a long time to figure it out but I don't see how that makes him a bad friend. FH picked him for a reason, I would try to take the high road and be excited that he is coming for FH.

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  • HowCo Industries
    VIP September 2018
    HowCo Industries ·
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    You have every right to feel frustrated, and don't let anyone invalidate that. Now, deep breath! Rise above it.
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  • Amanda
    Super May 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Agree with PP's.

    You can only control how you react to these types of frustrating situations. You can't control how your GM behaves or acts. I would be pretty frustrated too, as I imagine he knew there would be a cost associated with your wedding when he was asked to be part of your day. Sounds like you've tried to be as accommodating as much as possible.

    Enjoy those who do make an effort to show up for the rehearsal / dinner and try not to let this GM ruin your time!

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