What time is appropriate to leave a wedding as a bridesmaid?

If I was moved from a MOH to a bridesmaid and I wasn't really close to someone anymore, I'd probably leave after the pictures. Maybe after dinner if it's good food/open bar.

Ya maybe leave after you eat dinner. One the cake is cut and people are dancing she probably won’t notice you’d have left. I’m SO sorry you got moved down to a BM last minute! Did something happen? Also did she move up one of the BM’s to MOH? I wonder how that girl/woman must feel too. I would feel awkward in either position, being moved down suddenly, or being moved up to “fill in” for someone else’s position.

I think after dinner would be fine. Sorry your friend is treating you so poorly.

I'm sorry your friend sucks. I would leave after dinner. Are you bringing a date that might make you feel a little more comfortable?

She told you by text? Is she the poster child for the rude, to not even have the decency to talk to you? Can you tell us why you are even going to be in the wedding after she treats you like this? Demoting someone, as many call it, is a public slap in the face. MOH and BM are basically the same, except that the MOH is usually one you have known longer, or feel closer to at the time you choose them. It is nit about who does the most for the bride, or organizes parties, which can be done by any BM as well as any MoH, or close friend not in wedding party, or a close relative. And it is not polite to change back and forth, like who is miss popular this month is adjusted by the bride. Perhaps she told you by text because she knows she is behaving badly, and cannot face you.

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It was a weird situation to begin with. We worked together for almost a year, that is how I met her. I was caught off guard when she asked me to be the MOH and felt horrible if I said no. Basically, all her friends were busy when she was going to shop for a wedding dress. I'm the only one who has "money" from the group. Tbh I just feel used. Anyway, I am going just because I feel bad backing out last minute (good heart I have you could say).

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No date, he has to work I do have a coworker going, hopefully that will help out lol.

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Yes, she moved someone up from being a BM to MOH. She said I wasn't helping her as much as she needed me to. I was expected to go to all her alteration appointments, plan her bridal party, bachelorette, etc. all while I am in college during midterms..

View Quoted Comment I’m so sorry that happened to you! I read all your responses to everyone else and it just sounds like a horrible situation. Pretty tacky of her to start switching who has what role in her wedding party. I feel bad for both you and her new MOH.

View Quoted Comment Ugh, how do people think it's okay to rank their friends based on how much they can do for them. Your 'friend' sucks.

See how you feel on the day and just leave whenever you're ready to. If you're wanting to be inconspicuous then I'd go anytime after dinner. Once people aren't at their tables it becomes hard to tell who has left

Ugh that was so terrible of her and I don't blame you for feeling used. I would probably leave after dinner. And hey, even if you don't know anyone there maybe you will be seated with some cool people and won't have a terrible time.

I would definitely wait until after dinner. Not because that's the "right" thing to do, but because it's a free meal. I know, petty, but what she did is unacceptable. Her and her future spouse are the only ones who should be planning the wedding. Expecting your bridal party to do so is very inconsiderate and just plain weird. Sorry you're dealing with a bridezilla!

I agree about leaving after dinner. Once everyone is up and dancing/moving around, it's unlikely that she'll even notice. So sorry your friend is treating you this way.

Just leave after dinner. Hopefully you’ll still have a good time.

So beyond awful! I'd have a conversation with her, either in person or with a phone call, and let her know that the friendship has run its course and as such you won't be attending the wedding.

I feel like, if this were me, I’d back out of the wedding completely - especially if you aren’t close to her. I would have a hard time attending events leading up to the wedding, paying for a dress, hair and makeup and posing in photos knowing a person “demoted” me from MOH simply because I wasn’t there ALL the time. If I can ask, what did she need help with that was so “devastating” that she had to do this?

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I agree with this. I feel so bad for you, Paola. I wouldn't even go to the wedding. But it's your prerogative. I would say if you do end up going, leave after dinner when dancing will begin, because no one will really notice when you leave, which it shouldn't matter, to be honest. So sorry again

View Quoted Comment This is appropriate.

Hi Paola! I am sorry to hear you are in this situation and feeling this way. You can definitely choose to leave the wedding whenever you want, --after pictures, dinner, whenever-- given the situation, especially if it is uncomfortable for you.

Depends on how much of a wave you want to make. I'd say that since she demoted you via text (which is ludicrous on its own merit) you'd have the right not to go at all if you don't want.

But if you don't want to cause a fuss, traditionally the "signal you can leave" is cake-cutting. If it's a typical evening wedding, cake-cutting usually happens after dinner/toasts/first dances and is more or less the signal that all the formalities are over with and everything after that is a party.

Though, I mean, if you wanted to leave straight after pictures, I don't see the problem with that, either. If you're a BM, that's kind of your "main" responsibility. After that the bride might not even notice.

Frankly, at this point I'd be evaluating how good of a meal I expected to be served and if the bar were open or not. Filet mignon and endless Grey Goose martinis? Yeah, I'll stick around. Pasta buffet and kegs?

Nah. Not that I have an inherent problem with a pasta buffet and a keg (sounds like fun, frankly), but it's not good enough if I've been scorned and I have little/no love for the bride involved.