What should we send for a gift to a wedding that only one of us was invited to?

It was pretty rude of them to not invite you, I probably wouldn’t send a gift. If anything, I would do something small off their registry ($20-30 range).

That’s pretty strange that they wouldn’t invite you if you’re married already. I either wouldn’t feel obligated to send a gift or send something small like Mr & Mrs glasses or something along the lines of that, or something cheaper on the registry

View Quoted Comment I thought so too! We are technically married but our wedding has been postponed over and over due to covid. So, it’s not like they received an invitation to ours yet, but they do know we’re married. I think that sounds good, thanks!

View Quoted Comment This is what I was thinking too, like a token item. Thank you!

Don't buy a gift. If you feel disrespected, don't spend a dime on a gift. It also makes no sense for anyone make you feel you need to. If you did send one, give an etiquette book, nothing else. Send a cheap card if you wish. Or not.

The same thing you would have given if you were invited.

I don’t think you have to send a gift to a wedding you weren’t invited to.

Send them nothing.... or send them a card with just the grooms name on it addressed specifically to the groom and congratulate the groom. lol Maybe they’ll take a hint

I’d just send them a card congratulating them. That’s it- nothing else inside.

Wow .. i was invited to a wedding once in a different state and i only knew the bride and bride’s mother... i didnt go, and didnt send a gift or card or money... i didnt feel obligated to 🤷🏽‍♀️

Honestly, I think a card is fine. But up to you both if you really want to send a gift.

If the friend is normally a decent person and they were close when they worked together, I suggest following up. Unless there has been a specific “we don’t like her and she is dead to us” incident, it truly could have been an oversight.
We are making out guest list and there lots of people on FHs side I ask “is he married? Dating?” and FH will have to pause to think LOL Both of us had a couple of decades of moving for work and our friends have done the same, so people are spread out.

View Quoted Comment This is what I was thinking. You may want to follow up

Thats so incredibly rude of them on so many levels. Send a card, no money, no gift.

I wouldn't send them anything, after all they just disrespected your relationship. You guys are a package deal a social unit and need to be respected as such. Especially when the wedding is on the other side of the country.

View Quoted Comment I love the etiquette book idea that would be perfect. You should definitely send them the book.

Honestly I wouldn’t spend anything on them if they know about you and wasn’t invited and you are married to him that’s disrespectful in my eyes. If not going you aren’t required to send a gift either.


(I had my family not give me anything for my bridal shower. It’s like I’ll remember that when you ask me to come to another birthday party for your kids. Some people don’t think.)

View Quoted Comment This sounds more likely.

Send a card. NO money, NO gift. As I think I saw someone else also post prior. That’s what we would do. Make sure you both sign it. Take the high road. Balls in their court again after that.
I know FH and I would never choose to go without each other in a situation like this. Unless they have no knowledge of you, which I doubt since you dropped the besties tid-bit. That is incredibly And blatantly rude of them. FH and I see it this way— how could we support and respect another couple in their union who doesn’t acknowledge or respect ours kinda thing.