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Just Said Yes March 2022

What Should We Put on Our Invitations- immigration requiring a civil ceremony before wedding.

Kate, on January 23, 2021 at 5:06 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13
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Hi all!

This topic has been extremely anxiety producing for me as I am worried we might face judgment regardless what decision(s) we make. It has been a very stressful time for us both.

My FH is from the UK and has been living here for over 4 years on Visa. A year ago his company began sponsoring him for a green-card and things were looking great. Covid came along and while causing delays there seemed to be no worries that his immigration would become an issue. Fast forward a few months we are engaged and have set our wedding date and booked a venue for 2022. Come June the sitting president at the time froze all green-cards for most visa types (excluding medical and migrant workers), we tried to stay calm as the lawyers assured us that they were possibly still considering already filed applications. By September we learned this was not the case and his application was thrown out. More discussions began and we were presented with two options, to get married legally by the spring of 2021 or wait for the ban to be done and work could re-sponsor him. This would require him to leave this summer until TBD. We are not in a situation where him returning to the UK is feasible, we share finances, a mortgage, not to mention his job and other responsibilities.

We have decided to get married on our wedding date, but a year early, at the courthouse. The act of being married is important to us and I will wear a small white dress him a shirt and tie and the wedding photographer we booked offered to come take some photos so we can remember the day. My parents will come, his sadly can not travel from the UK.

People have been telling me I need to reprint my wedding invitations to say vow renewal and not call our originally date our wedding. I am also being told I should not have bridesmaids or other traditional things since we will already be married.

What is the right thing to put on our invites? We aren't ashamed of having to married early and know it best for our situation, but still very much considered our 2022 date our wedding since it was when everyone we would want there will be able to celebrate with us. I don't want to offend people? But I also don't want to throw away a wedding I have been planning since last spring before any of this was a known problem.

What should I do? Any advice would be helpful.


Latest activity by Jennifer, on January 29, 2021 at 1:16 PM
  • Apryl
    Dedicated March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you have to stray from you original vision.
    You're well within your rights to have the wedding you envisioned at a later date.
    You certainly wouldn't be the first person the do this.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    There are so many people who opted to do a small ceremony now, and postpone the larger reception until a later date! You can certainly have bridesmaids and a ceremony and any other wedding related events if you want them. You deserve to have the wedding you want! Technically, the second event would be called a vow renewal, or a celebration of marriage, or a wedding reception (if you don't intend to do a ceremony), though with the current scenario, I think you'd be fine to call it whatever you want. Especially if you already printed the invites, I wouldn't spend more money to reprint them just to change that wording. Most people probably won't even notice the wording.
    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Devoted May 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    Its YOUR WEDDING. Absolutely do it how you originally wanted it. We got married a year early as well. On our invitations it says " You are invited to celebrate our love .... "
    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted September 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    You can say “celebrate the marriage of (your names)”
    • Reply
  • B
    Super July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    I would have the invitations printed with "celebration of marriage" versus wedding. As far as everything else - you should have what you want as far as bridesmaids, big white dress, etc.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Super August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I agree with all previous posts! Absolutely go for it and if it helps, our wedding invitation said “celebrating the marriage of” and I had a traditional wedding and I believe the same wording works for yours as well! Plus, you shouldn’t have to reprint invitations as they are expensive ❤️ All the best to you and your fiancé 🌿🥂🌸
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    Technically it is a vow renewal, but given the situation it is understandable. I would just be honest with your guests that you are already married, but would like to celebrate your marriage with everyone. A lot of people are doing this because of Covid.

    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow Online ·
    • Flag
    Have you already printed wedding invites? Then I would absolutely not spend extra money on reprinting them.

    Have the wedding exactly as you envisioned. Be honest with your guests that you're legally married, but other than that, don't overthink it.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    In most of Europe, every person must have a civil ceremony in an office first. Not a same day thing.
    Everyone who has a civil or religious ceremony in front of friends and family now considers that, not the clerk's office special, to be their wedding. I think that your ceremony of legal necessity should not mean you forfeit anything. Have a full and complete wedding if you want. I think covid has caused many people who used to turn their noses up at a ceremony not being a real wedding, after an office civil wedding, have changed their views. The dividing line more people I talk to seem to draw, is that if the civil is just couple and 2 witnesses ( if required), a real elopement or office ceremony, it does not count as your one an only wedding if you have one later for friends and family, and religion for many. But if you make your first one a private wedding, no matter what you call it, with your parents or a few friends and family, in addition to the officiant, and do the gown and dressup, then that is a private wedding. And any subsequent one is a vows renewal if you say them, or a reception and celebration of marriage if you don't. People's opinions are changing. And government action forced this, as Covid did for others. I don't see why you should forfeit any of the frills.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    Do whatever you want to do. Call it a wedding, have bridesmaids, it's YOUR day don't let others mess that up for you 🥰
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Devoted September 2021
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    Stay true to what you and your fiancé want. Call it a wedding, have a bridal party, etc! I personally wouldn’t spend the extra money to change invites. I would hope loved ones wouldn’t be offended, especially knowing your situation. Happy to hear you were able to work things out. Best of luck to you both!
    • Reply
  • Kate
    Just Said Yes March 2022
    Kate ·
    • Flag

    Thanks everyone! You have all made me feel a lot better around the situation. Appreciate all the advice Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Rockstar August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    Don’t listen to them, it is still a wedding! Take it from a Covid bride who had to postpone twice and is currently awaiting her wedding (even though we got married in 2020 legally). If people are going to get upset due to a single word on an invitation, they quite frankly have other issues they should sort out.

    If you’re concerned about it, when you do get married, make a social media post (if you have it) letting everyone know that you are legally married “and we are looking forward to celebrating with friends and family soon!” They’ll know it’s a vow renewal, but you can still call it a wedding.
    • Reply

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