What Should We Do

Sounds like a plan if it’s bothering you.

Don't share any information with them or your family. Make your Pinterest board private.
Your guests may notice a general similarity in colors or whatever detail for maybe 5 minutes and then not be bothered by it the rest of the time.

If you want to change it, go for it. Do what makes you feel better. Don't mention any new details.

I say do a 180 and change everything. I know how frustrating it’s going to be but since you didn’t make any purchases yet that’ll make a lot of things easier.

Did you ask her why she decided to choose decor and stationery so close to yours ?

I think you’re doing the right thing. It’s annoying that she’s copied everything from your ideas. I would just choose different color, centerpieces and decor since you have time.

I mean I don’t see the harm in changing it up since now you know what she’s doing and you just wanna differentiate a little bit. But I will say though that not all weddings are entirely unique. For instance I was at a wedding early this year and we had the same colors. And she and my best friend are doing the same sent off as I did. It is what it is you know it doesn’t mean necessarily either that their wedding wasn’t unique that mine isn’t unique etc. but I think in your case since you know what she’s up to and youHaven’t done any solid buying or planning yeah I think it’s OK to change up what you wanna do

This was my post, but for some reason it won't let log into the account I originally made so I had to make a new one.

"Did you ask her why she decided to choose decor and stationery so close to yours ?" is a great question... i would definitely change/go a different direction since it bothers you enough to mention it... it sucks that she can't think for herself /has no creativity on her own and feels she needs to copy and have her wedding first,,I'm feel sorry for you! that's not fair to you! and definitely don't share anything new with her/keep pinterest board private

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I don't know what to say to her because she can be very defensive at times. She is also younger so I'm thinking she just doesn't what she wants.

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I haven't because she can be rather defensive at times. She is also only 21 so I'm thinking she might know what she wants.

View Quoted Comment I get it. It sucks because you have to start over. But you may discover that you like a completely different theme. I had a similar experience and now I LOVE that I changed everything and I can’t wait for my day.

Maybe you can use the same colors but a darker or lighter shade.

I honestly would probably change things and keep it a secret from her. If you think that your future brother in law would tell her I would keep it from him as well

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Currently the guys tuxes are black with maroon ties and vests, but I'm thinking of changing them to black that way whatever color I end up deciding on for bridesmaids dress they will match. It will also prevent her from know that we changed our bridesmaids' dresses to a different color. I would definitely make sure my fiance doesn't tell his brother any of the new ideas that we have.

Honestly, I don't think she means to copy you. If she is anything like I was prior to being engaged, she never really thought about what her wedding would look like. I was not one of those girls who had everything for the day detailed out since I was like 10. I didn't think about colors or decorations or centerpieces until people started asking me what I was going to do. So she is probably drawing a lot of inspiration from you guys because she's like oh that seems really nice. I didn't even know what shade of red I wanted until I looked at swatches, and it ended up being different than what I initially told people lol. That all being said, if it bothers you, you should definitely change it up some so that you feel like your wedding is still you but not look like you copied her, which is obviously not the case. It is unfortunate this is happening but hopefully you can still have your wedding your way without her taking all your ideas.

I'd be annoyed if someone copied our wedding. If you want to change it then go for it. It sounds really frustrating to have to deal with that.

I would be really annoyed and definitely change a lot of things if I was in your position, but if you're in love with the colors you chose, you don't have to change them. You can just rotate them. I'll use my colors for an example. My bridespeople are in blue, our centerpieces will be in grey containers, the invitations are mostly blue, green, and grey, and the largest flowers in my bouquet and centerpieces will be coral. The floral arrangements will also contain blue and white flowers and lots of greenery. If I was going to change the look of everything without actually choosing new colors, I could put my bridespeople in grey/coral, make coral the main color on the invitations, and have the centerpieces be mostly white/blue/green. I'd also choose different flowers from the other couple, but you don't have to.

I get why you wouldn't want to bring this up with the fiancée, and I'm not sure it'll help you at all unless you're overwhelmingly upset by having to change things or possibly have it look like you copied her. Moving forward, especially since their wedding is before yours, if there's anything else you both haven't chosen yet (menu? table signs?), ask her what she's thinking about doing for it. Then you can make suggestions that you like but aren't planning to choose. If she really doesn't have any of her own ideas she'll definitely choose from the options you present so you know it won't be the one you really want. This way you're helping her, so she has no reason to be defensive, and it's a positive way to start (or strengthen) a relationship that will hopefully last a very long time.

I had this happen for my first wedding - she took the maids color, accent color, style, and the wedding dress that I had picked out. I was so pissed. The good news is that it looked beautiful - the bad news is that it wasn't mine. I'd make your board private but keep an eye on hers - she still has time to change hers too. And, since they are family an info diet is needed but will be difficult.

Yup, I would do a complete 180 on her. I would actually make my Pinterest public again and start pinning some of thee most bizarre pins. Then make a private board for myself. If she asks if you are changing your colors I would say “yes I am changing everything because your fiancé told my fiancé that you are using the exact same colors as us and I don’t want to go to my wedding twice.” But that’s just me being petty. Good luck!