What Should i Do?

Is marriage something you want? its a good conversation to have.

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That is what my best friend told me. But he always want to talk and plan out this wedding. He is event asking about opening up a savings account to start putting money into.

I agree that just talking to him is the best thing to do. You don't have to bring up what you overheard. Talking about your future and what you want together is important in every relationship.

I think that really depends on your feelings about the proposal. Do you want him to propose to you? If not, a conversation should definitely be had asap, before he goes out and buys a ring! Four months is a very short time to date before getting engaged. That being said, you could always have an extra long engagement to ensure you are both on the same page regarding your futures and ready for marriage.

I think at 4 months in, you could definitely have the "long term goals" discussion. Ask what his goals are for career, financial, marriage, kids. And tell him yours. That's the only way to know if you two are compatible. Don't be a passive observer in your life; participate!

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Right.. and to be honest, we talk a lot about our goals and our future, almost everyday. His family lovess me and my kids adore him as well.

View Quoted Comment If there are children involved, I would definitely think long and hard about this. The well being of your children needs to be top priority, so make sure you do not get caught up in the fairytale of new love. Everyone goes through the honeymoon phase at first, where their partner is absolutely perfect. Oftentimes you don’t even see the real person until you are a year in. Becoming engaged so quickly, and telling your children this person will be a father figure in their life is a huge deal. If the relationship ends up not working out because you rushed into it, your kids stand to be very hurt in the process; and could suffer from abandonment issues in the future.

This is coming from a mother of 8 soon to be 9 take it slow everyone loves the new love and the new relationship feeling, but as time goes on people start to change, My fiance met in May 2019 we got pregnant in September 2019 during that time I was a mother to 7. He would come over once a week and we would have date nights, and then in January 2020 we moved in together, thats when he started to become my kids father figure, we had our daughter in March 2020 and got Engaged on July 4th 2020 and we are getting married in 2022. I took my time to make sure he was good with the kids and he is an amazing dad we have had our ups and downs death in the family, covid but we overcame our obstacles we know how to communicate well I think you should wait and get to know him get to see how he is around your kids

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Thank you so much! this was some very important details.

4 months is rather fast especially when you have kids involved. But everyones timeline in life are different. Some people know after a month of dating and get married at 3 months and it works, for others they need years. If you are hesitant because of the timeline then you should definitely have a truthful conversation with him about what you want. But if this is something you are on board with then I wouldn't say anything about what you overheard. Act surprised.

Make it clear how you feel. You don't have to tell him you overheard, but make it clear if you think it's moving too quickly.

As some have said, 4 months is a very short time period to decide to get married in, especially when kids are involved. If he is only talking about the wedding event, then you need to have more discussions with him about where you see yourself going in life. Make sure his goals somewhat match up with yours and that you both have the same end game. Do you live together? That's always a great indicator of whether it'll work or not as well. Also, make sure you are ready to be in a marriage yourself. I ended a relationship with someone because they wanted to propose 6 months in and I absolutely was not ready for that and they could not wrap their head around it. Once you figure that out, maybe have a conversation (without letting him know you overheard) about what your timeline looks like. Like "I want to be with someone for a year and then maybe we consider marriage" if that's what you decide. Best of luck!

Congratulations!! You sound like you are so excited! Don't mention iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.