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Just Said Yes September 2021

What makes the couple happy or.... what makes the family happy.

Lacey, on April 6, 2021 at 5:48 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 12

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My fiancé and I planned our entire wedding ourselves and we are having a blast doing it! I’m super creative and have really enjoyed putting together the decorations and tables and everything else. We decided to have a smaller wedding with our closest family and a few friends our ceremony will be on the beach and we got a beautiful air bnb that holds events for a 2 night stay and the reception. We are happy and doing what we want within our budget (we paid for the wedding ourselves so that no one could try to change anything about our wedding) but, the in laws are not happy about it at all they want us to have a much bigger wedding at a completely different venue. Because it’s easier and stress free (we have tried to tell them we are enjoying the planning) it’s getting to the point I feel like they almost want something to go wrong so that we will have to switch venues. The last thing I want is to hurt their feelings or cause a strain on our relationship we have always gotten along very good before this. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? How did you handle it?

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12 Comments

Latest activity by MK, on April 7, 2021 at 1:51 PM

Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 6, 2021 at 5:53 PM
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Your wedding your decision. If someone doesn't like your choice, they can do it their way when it is their turn.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 6, 2021 at 5:57 PM
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I'm sorry you are going through, but don't let them dictate your plans. If you and your fiancé are happy with the plans that you've made then that's what you should do. It isn't up to them to decide how you get married. They had their chance when they got married to decide what type of wedding they wanted. The only thing I will say is I would confirm with the venue they are allowing weddings. Last I knew Air Bnb wasn't allowing events of 16 or more.
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Expert September 2020
Amanda · on April 6, 2021 at 6:09 PM
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Keep your plans. Whatever minor hard feelings they have about it will be way easier to deal with than stress, cost and resentment of changing your plans.
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Devoted May 2023
Heather · on April 6, 2021 at 6:16 PM
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This, all the way. I'm constantly amazed by the audacity of people who refuse to just let couples plan the wedding they want, especially when what they would prefer would cost the couple a lot more money. Remind them that this is your wedding and you will be celebrating it in the way that is most meaningful to you and FH, period.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 6, 2021 at 6:25 PM
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Alot of the time, it comes from their parents dictated their weddings so they think that's how it's done instead of letting the couple plan for themselves.
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Just Said Yes September 2021
Lacey · on April 6, 2021 at 6:29 PM
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The owner of the house booked us personally outside of vrbo we have a contract and everything for our guest count already
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 6, 2021 at 6:34 PM
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Oh okay. Not sure if that is entirely allowed, but the owner is the one that would probably get in trouble if it isn't.
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Just Said Yes September 2021
Lacey · on April 6, 2021 at 6:43 PM
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Yeah idk but she booked us. The original listing was actually through vrbo not air bnb. But she booked us personally and she holds 2 events there a month. So seems legit enough.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 6, 2021 at 6:46 PM
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Sounds good! I would stick with your plan and if your in-laws don't like oh well it isn't their wedding and they aren't the ones paying for it.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on April 6, 2021 at 8:12 PM
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Our parents generally have our best interests at heart but sometimes they can’t reconcile the fact that your dream wedding does not align with what their dream for the event was. I think your fiancé needs to sit down and talk to his parents and really stand firm that they need to accept your wedding plans and that while you both acknowledge they had a different vision in mind, this is what you want and they need to accept it.
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VIP November 2021
Allie · on April 7, 2021 at 1:36 PM
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So my future MIL is VERY opinionated on things like this because she never wants anyone to spend too much money on things. We basically told everyone that we chose our venue and what we wanted to do and they have no say in that. The things we do allow a say in are things like food tastings. You just have to be really upfront and honest and tell them, this is YOUR day, you are doing what you both want. Plus, covid is kind of making it harder to have larger weddings at this time anyways.
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Expert September 2021
MK · on April 7, 2021 at 1:51 PM
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It sounds like you and your fiancé have it under control! If it were me, I would tell them that you weren't willing to budge on your wedding plans and you are happiest doing it ya'll's way. Maybe to appease them, you could suggest having a party after your legal wedding that they could plan and invite more extended friends and family to. Just a thought!
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