What Makes a Wedding?

I like it when a wedding has personal touches of the bride and groom, and isn't just a cookie cutter wedding.

I always enjoy when the bride and groom write their own vows instead of just saying something generic, that always makes the ceremony so much more personal and special to me. I also like when the ceremony is fun, joyful, and light hearted rather than generic and solemn. It’s always good if the officiant can get a laugh out of the audience. I guess I’m kind of a dork, because I also really like the speeches as long as they aren’t too terribly long (I think lots of people hate that part though, lol). I also like photobooths. I know some people on here think they are silly or whatever, but as a wedding guest I have always enjoyed when a wedding has a photobooth, especially if there are lots of friends at the wedding I haven’t seen in a while who I ge to take pics with!

View Quoted Comment Perfectly said! Acknowledgement is definitely important.

I appreciate not having to wait very long between the ceremony and reception (unless specifically stated that the reception will start at a certain time.) I understand some time between is needed for pictures but sometimes it gets to be too much.

I like the ceremony to be personalized, meaningful, and thoughtful.

I am happy to never see another sand ceremony again.

It is nice to not have too long to wait between the ceremony and the reception. I don't like weddings where there's nothing to do, and nowhere to go except to sit in your car and wait.

I like weddings where the seating chart has been well-thought-out, and we are sitting with people we know and enjoy.

Plenty of food and alcohol (that doesn’t cost anything!) and a good flow. No waiting or standing around without a drink in my hand in fancy shoes. PLENTY OF SEATS.

View Quoted Comment I hadn’t thought about it but seating IS so important...if I’m sitting with fun people it makes it. I feel like at family weddings we always ended up sitting with the difficult people because my mom is a peacemaker. Lol.

Food and and drink is what I notice. And I know most people disagree, and say they’re unappreciated, but I do like nice favors. They can add a little something memorable. The effort and cost are probably disproportionate to the impression, but I do like it! I like it when I can actually talk to the bride and groom too.

When I go to a wedding, I'm not focused on having a good time. I consider it an honor that they invited me to be a part of their day. I come to celebrate with them. Unless it's my wedding, nothing about the day is about me.
It is nice that you want your guests to remember your wedding for years to come. Provide good food and music, add personal touches to the ceremony and decor. Make it you and your spouse's day and your guests will be happy for you.

Adrianna is 1% of guests, so ya know.

I really don’t like when the dancing is interrupted. Once you open up the dance floor, just keep the party going. I went to one wedding where they kept stopping the dancing for things like the shoe game and the dollar dance, then the DJ stopped to teach us a line dance. Totally killed the flow.

I also love personal touches, as someone else mentioned. I went to a wedding of HS friends, 300 people in NYC, probably $100,000, and all I remember thinking was how generic it was. It was beautiful and I had a great time but I knew that day I wanted my wedding to be somewhat unique. Also, if it’s in your budget, something extra that makes it clear you were thinking about your guests having a good time - extra desserts, late night snack, upgraded bar, cigar roller, etc. Obviously this is not required for a good wedding but it’s definitely nice as a guest.

View Quoted Comment I agree! Guests want to feel involved but not used.

I agree with PPs. The worst is not knowing anyone and having nothing to do. I went to one where I knew no one but bride and groom and it definitely wasn't their fault, but it dragged for me. Another wedding I went to I knew some people, but almost no one danced, and while it was nice to just chit chat with friends, my FH who didn't know anyone was so ready to leave.

Also...make sure your times on your website are correct!!!!!! I went to one wedding where for some reason i didn't check the invite (or maybe left it at home) and relied on the website. FH and I arrived what we thought was early for the ceremony, but when we walked in we saw the bridal party rushing out and it was very clear the ceremony had just ended. We were pretty upset we had missed the whole thing. It turned out that the coupled made 2 wedding websites, and one was an older one with a different time. It just really sucks because we were just bumming around in the hotel before hand...totally could have been there an earlier if we would have known.

Also the last couple weddings I've been to have had almost no food. Is this a trend? Where it's like a buffet of tiny finger foods?

Also I went to a wedding where all the guest name cards were displayed, and she had forgotten my one for my name. It wasn't a huge deal, but just kind of embarrassing for both of us.

Also agree with PPs about stopping the flow. I personally do not like lengthily speeches, too many special dances (groom with mom, groom with aunt, groom with grandma, bride with dad, bride with brother, bride with grandpa)..too many get long and I'm only going to do a first dance then be done. I also think having too long of a break between ceremony and reception is awkward. At one wedding it was like 2 hours..i went back to the hotel because I had nothing else to do, and had to come back.

A good open bar, enough food, and enough entertainment (dancing, Photo Booth, etc), along with knowing other people there, are the best recipes! FH had a friend who had an awesome spread of desserts which was pretty awesome, including a smores making station. That was pretty cool. And the DJ and guests were popping, so even though I only knew FH there, and he hates dancing, I still got up to dance for hours alone with people i just met.

ETA: Ok I guess I have a lot of complaints. I promise I was honored to be invited! I think I'm just being critical because I am very much the "inclusive person" who doesn't like anyone to ever sit alone at a table growing up, because I'm so shy and introverted myself, so I want to ensure everyone knows at least a couple other people and is highly entertained the entire time. I am putting a lot of pressure in making mine the best wedding ever (said no other bride ever!)

Good flow to the the event and the atmosphere is important for me. I don't like stuffy events at all. I prefer something fun and enjoy humorous touches like our wedding programs will say something like we get married we party.

I obviously will remember how the food/booze/dancing was but for the little things, I like personal touches. They're what make your wedding different from other weddings and therefore more memorable.

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What do you mean the bride and groom acknowledging the guests? Just like a thank you speech at the reception or something more?

There is a lot of things that can be done right or wrong. Just remember its yours and your fiancee day. As long as you are happy it shouldn't matter what other people thinks specially when you can't please everyone. I think thanking everyone for coming out and interacting with the guest to be able to pull them on the dance floor and the seating chart is a big deal. But don't stress on it because its about you and him.

When the bride and groom take the time together to thank each guest and they are together throughout the reception. I went to a wedding once where the bride stayed on the dance floor drinking and dancing with her friends while the groom stayed by the bar. Neither of them acknowledged guests outside of their friend circle, not even family. I really didn’t like that.

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I agree with this. I want a comfortable seat, a good meal (and I am not a fussy eater), comfortable atmosphere (A/C or heat), and a drink. No dollar dance, no honeyfund, and please thank me in person for coming. Don't dance all night with everyone and forget to mingle, don't hang out with your college friends or group of friends that you see on a regular basis and forget about your relatives. Please send me a personalized thank note via US mail thanking me for my gift. Not a one size postcard of the two of you saying "Thanks for sharing in our day!"

Start the wedding on time. Please keep your ceremony somewhat short.

I know I am in the minority on this: no memorials to dead people. We get it, they are gone, we had funerals. I find it jarring to see a table full of photographs of deceased people. No dove release, no memorial balloon release, just no.

No open mic with speeches, you get drunk people up there saying, "I love you guys!" over and over....

Please keep the inside jokes to a minimum too - I was at a wedding where they played all these goofy songs that no one else could dance too as it was a "thing" for them in college. It went on waaaay too long.

Please don't feel the need to entertain us with photo booths, magicians, tarot card readers, etc. We are grown up, food and drink and dance is enough.

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THIS!!! Yes @Red Queen completely agree!!