What is the unity ceremony??

I don't think there is a particular religion that does it, but there are different types. There's the Sand ceremony, and the Unity Candle that I'm familiar with. For the sand, there are 2 tubes of different colored sand (usually the wedding colors) and a container in the middle and the couple pours the sand into the middle container. Same basic process for the candles. It's meant to symbolize the joining of two worlds into one family unit.

We're doing the Unity Candle ceremony. My Mom still has her's and I've always wanted to!

We're doing the Unity Heart. It symbolizes the two becoming one. It's not part of any religion or anything.

It's definitely not just a religious thing.

I would only do one if you really want to. DH and I did a truce bell. It's an Irish thing (which I am), and my grandparents had one and I wanted one as well. You ring the bell during your ceremony, keep the bell in your home, and the point is to ring the bell when you need a special reminder of your vows. It's supposed to bring memories of the good times when you are arguing or really experiencing any sort of hard ship where you need a pick me up.

Mainly, we use it to piss off our dogs.

I wouldn't force one though unless you have something in mind already. Some people do something goofy or silly, and I'm a big fan of that. Ours was a bit funny because DH did a tiny little jingle while I hammered on the bell (didn't really mean to, I actually had no idea how loud it would be!). I have seen everything from having glass crystals that you combine at the ceremony being melted into a glass bowl (very pricey but awesome!) to making a black and tan and drinking it together.

I have seen unity candles at a lot of catholic ceremonies. I'm allegedly catholic, but I have no idea if that's religious. I have to assume so.

So is there a certain way people do this then? I guess I'm wondering if the officiant has to say something? I love the bell idea that's very romantic and love how you ring it in case u need a reminder. We both have Irish in us too so I may look into that!

There are usually words the officiant will say during the ceremonies.

My FI has Irish too, that's a cute tradition!

It's not a religious thing. You could think about a sand or glass pouring, chocolate or wine sharing, hand fasting. Your officiant should have some ideas and scripts.

I've never heard of that Irish bell one I like that!

I would say it's more of a secular thing than a religious thing. Many religions have a specific traditions, language, and/or readings incorporated into their marriage ceremonies. Unity ceremonies developed in part because more people are having secular weddings, and needed something to fill up the time left by omitting those religious traditions. They certainly aren't necessary--the wedding itself is a unity ceremony. But they may provide something to make the ceremony feel more substantial than a 3-minute, "I do," "I do."

APW and Offbeat Bride both have pretty comprehensive lists of unity ceremony options, you could check them out for options. We are doing a handfasting.

They all symbolize two people coming together as one unit.

We're doing a sand ceremony. The reading says that even though you can see the two separate colors you can never fully separate the two once they are together.

The wording for the unity ceremony can be either religious or secular.

My couples have done:

unity sand, glass beads, water orchid or small potted tree, planted wildflower seeds, unity cross, or handfasting.

We are adding a wine unity ceremony to ours. We felt like our secular ceremony was going to be way too short with the readings we like, and we want something that represents our interests.

I just spent my whole morning looking up unity ceremonies bc we are meeting with an officiant for the first time tonight and i, too, was clueless.

There are TONS of options. The Offbeat bride has some cool ones if youre looking for something really unique/non-traditional.

I am now leaning towards a handfasting, but I dont think you have to incorporate a unity ritual at all.

We're not doing a unity ceremony, but we are doing a wine box ceremony. We're putting in love letters and a bottle of wine and sealing it. Traditionally, it's supposed to be opened on the 5 yr. anniversary or if the couple is truly going through a hard time and considering separation. You read the letters, share the wine, and remember why you fell in love. FH and I are making it our own. We're opening it every year and sharing the wine, then adding new letters and wine. We're hoping the letters will become a sort of story of our journey together.

We did sand.