What is the proper way to ask your guests not bring gifts?

You may request that in lieu of gifts you wish for guests to make a donation to xxxx charity. You may list one or several. Please realize that not everyone may comply and you may still receive some gifts.

That is something I would put on your wedding website or spread by word of mouth.

Please don't make any mention of gifts, anywhere. Please don't ask people to donate to a charity either, it sounds noble but it comes as.......still asking and talking about the expectation of a gift.

People like to give gifts, let them give you a gift, if you don't register they will give you money.

We each chose a charity and listed the two charities on the "registry" section of our website. We are taking a pretty lighthearted tone with most things we're doing, so it starts with saying that we really do feel the flight or fancy outfit or babysitter you paid for to come to the reception is more than enough, then transitions to the charities, then we did create a registry for some things.


I've seen some stuff given to people who didn't register for anything that I would never want, and then you have to figure out how to return, etc.

At the reception, we'll have three card boxes, one for each charity and one where people can still just give us the money if they really want to.

I also found that having some smaller items on the registry can be handy if you're having a shower. I know some people got us something off the registry for the shower but plan to focus most of their wedding gift on a charitable donation.

One last bit of peer pressure I attempted - our "traditional" registry is at Target, so instead of the blurb where you're supposed to say OMG we're so in love or whatever I said in lieu of gifts we would also appreciate a donation to one of these two charities.

Plus, Target gives you a 15% discount on stuff that's not bought off your registry within a certain window of your date, so we registered for some stuff we'd never expect someone to actually buy, TBH.

Let people get you a gift. Some people's love language is primarily gift-giving and it is rude to refuse to accept one.