What is the proper way to ask guests to contribute toward destination wedding lodging?

There's really not a good way to do this. I'm glad everyone is close to you because it sounds like it might offend someone. :/

Already paying for it and making guests stay at the venue is tricky.. Maybe there was a more budget friendly option they would have chosen?

Mine is similar but instead I'm just paying for their housing, the venue recommended asking for donations towards housing or some better wording

Hmm yikes, i guess itd be the same as paying for a destination hotel room- but maybe letting your guest know they can send a check/money order or paypal, to secure a room- give em a few options.

"If you would like to stay at the cabin, it is $xx per night. We already rented the entire cabin in our name, so if you would like to stay there, you can make a check out to us".

Do these people already plan on staying there? If so, I don't see why this is a big deal. I would definitely reach out to everyone individually regarding their rooms, though

I'm doing the same EXACT thing. We booked enough rooms for our bridal party and families. There are two options, one that is $100 for the weekend, and one that is $400 for the weekend....and that's with us covering half the cost. Everyone seems to be okay with the choices and prices. I basically just sent a mass text saying "Here are your options, or you have the option to stay at the hotel where we blocked rooms, which is 25 minutes away"...they decided what they wanted to do.

The key is to make sure people know that they have a choice. If you go about it as "Here's the price, pay it NOW", people could get offended. We booked WAY in advance. People have had a year to make a decision and pay for the rooms, so it wasn't a huge hassle.

Sounds like a complicated scenario. Do the guests have other options near-by? Will the guests have to pay more if less of them are staying?

Would it be simple enough to just say "Contact us for details about accommodations"?

I would rather verbally explain it to 40 people than try to write out a brief explanation that leaves them with some questions. The easiest form of payment for most people will probably be an email money transfer.

Wow, tricky. Our venue told us they could call and make reservations through them and they would deduct the total from our bill. Is that an option?

This is the language that I'm using on my wedding website:

We have arranged housing at several rental properties in [name of town], all within close proximity to each other. Those arriving Thursday can check into their rooms at 4:00 PM. For those arriving Friday, we'll reserve your designated space and see you then!

You should have already heard from us regarding the house and room we’ve reserved for you, but if for some reason you haven’t, please reach out to [bride or groom] at [phone number]. The suggested contribution is $75 per adult per night, which also accounts for cleaning fees; Venmo payments can be made to [bride or groom] at [Venmo name].

If you want to find your own housing, that’s no problem! You do you! We will not have our feelings hurt.