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Connie
Expert October 2016

What is the best piece of advice you'd give newly engaged couples?

Connie, on June 17, 2016 at 12:14 PM Posted in Planning 0 15
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Aside from the obvious (no cash bars, don't kick out bridesmaids, etc), what is some personal advice you'd give someone who's just started planning their wedding?

Obviously I'm not married yet, but in this planning journey, here are my best pieces of advice:

1. If you're the type of person (like me) who says "yeah, that looks good, let's do it" and then regrets it a week later, don't pay your vendors all at once. We didn't do that with any of ours, but we almost did. We lost (thankfully fairly small) deposits on 2 vendors and have paid too much to find a new photographer, even though we're unhappy with their work. I guess the moral of this story is: do more research. But if you don't, don't pay your vendors off immediately.

2. You know how they tell you not to look at other dresses once you've bought yours? I'll amend that to say "If you're sentimental and have already firmly decided not to book a videographer, don't watch wedding videos."

(One more in comments...)

15 Comments

Latest activity by EmilyJ, on June 17, 2016 at 2:12 PM
  • Connie
    Expert October 2016
    Connie ·
    • Flag

    3. Remember that the little details don’t matter as much as you think they will. A few days ago, someone said something to the effect of “In 5 years, are you going to look back and think how much you hated your centerpieces?” At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you’re married to your love.

    What advice do you all have to give?

    • Reply
  • AMW
    Master September 2016
    AMW ·
    • Flag

    I think I would give conflicting advice.

    1. Take more time on decisions...I really made my dress and venue decisions in a snap, and sometimes I wish I'd taken longer--lots of unexplored territory.

    2. But at the end of the day, those little decisions really won't matter--it's about the marriage, not if I bought the BEST DRESS IN THE WHOLE WORLD or if my venue is the absolute prettiest one in the entire world. Getting caught up in details will make it completely unenjoyable.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP May 2016
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    1.) Enjoy your engagement and your wedding day and try not to stress too much because they really do go by so fast!

    2.) As long as you're still being a good host, don't get sucked in to a gigantic list of "must haves" based on what other people are doing. If you don't care about a photo booth, or fresh flowers, etc., then don't have them. I promise your guests won't care because 3.) no one cares about your wedding as much as you do!

    4.) skip STDs other than for out of town VIPs. A lot can change over the course of your engagement and it is really limiting to be locked into a guest list and a PITA if you need to change venues or anything and have to make sure everyone knows the new details. I learned that one the hard way.

    • Reply
  • KPizzle
    Super May 2016
    KPizzle ·
    • Flag

    1. Enjoy your time just being engaged. No need to stress about wedding planning right away.

    2. Set a budget and stick to it.

    3. Smile and nod at all the unsolicited advice and ideas your about to receive. Do what makes you happy.

    • Reply
  • DAK
    Expert May 2016
    DAK ·
    • Flag

    1. Take time for yourself. A break away from the wedding planning. Have a date night or day with FH.

    2. Allow ample time to plan. That way you can enjoy working on projects & not feeling rushed.

    3. Relax & BREATHE!! When & if you start to feel either overwhelmed or having a panic attack. RELAX & BREATHE!!

    4. Take it all in & try to enjoy the process as much as possible. But if things get out of control. Let things go. Don't hold on to them.

    • Reply
  • SoonToBeDames
    Expert November 2016
    SoonToBeDames ·
    • Flag

    I'm with KPizzle's #1 -- Enjoy being engaged. My biggest regret is jumping into planning (because I'm type A and feel lazy/unaccomplished when there are things on my To Do list for too long).

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Don't make 'wedding planning' your second full time job and the entirety of your time together.

    Cut your guest list mercilessly. Don't listen to anyone who suggests anyone you don't REALLY want there.

    Keep the major goal in mind; to get married to this person

    Treat your guests right

    Treat your bridal party right.

    Don't do anything right away except possibly booking a venue.

    • Reply
  • 5starFM
    VIP January 2017
    5starFM ·
    • Flag

    Welcome back Celia! Good advice everyone! I will add, once you decide on anything, stop looking around (invites, dresses, guest count, budget). I've turned into the most indecisive person since I started wedding planning. Trying to find the best deal, prettiest ideas, unique touches. Exhausting and most likely unnecessary. Stick to your decisions and move on to the next project.

    • Reply
  • Swin.
    Master June 2016
    Swin. ·
    • Flag

    Budget!

    Also, whenever you buy ANYTHING for the wedding, even tiny things, put that into a budget spreadsheet. It keeps you from dying tons of little things that are unnecessary and really add up.

    • Reply
  • AspinNichole
    Dedicated May 2017
    AspinNichole ·
    • Flag

    1.) Don't forget to actually spend time with your FH! Life gets busy, you get caught up in planning the wedding, working and everything else! Make sure to set time for just you and your FH!

    2.) DONT be a people pleaser. The wedding is for you and FH. Don't worry about anybody else, as long as the two of you are happy.

    • Reply
  • Teaowl
    Super October 2016
    Teaowl ·
    • Flag

    Perfect is the enemy of good. I'm very happy with my choices, but I forced myself not to go on an epic quest for the "perfect" photographer, etc. Stick to the budget. You don't need a theme. You don't need to decide things right away. You can't control everything.

    • Reply
  • ElleW.
    Expert October 2015
    ElleW. ·
    • Flag

    Read this book. I read it before we got engaged, and it really helped put everything in perspective for me. Plus she's super snarky, and it was an easy read. I didn't take all of her advice (she's against any type of registry, matching BP, etc) but the book kept me grounded throughout the planning process and focused on what a wedding actually is!


    • Reply
  • Connie
    Expert October 2016
    Connie ·
    • Flag

    Great advice, all. Celia! I'm happy to see you back!

    • Reply
  • Meesh
    VIP May 2016
    Meesh ·
    • Flag

    Dont send STDs, unless you absolutely HAVE to and then only send them to those you know without a DOUBT you will invite. (AKA... dont lock yourself in to a guest list before you know how much things will REALLY cost).

    • Reply
  • EmilyJ
    VIP May 2016
    EmilyJ ·
    • Flag

    If you can't wear heels all night, just wear flats.

    I totally thought I'd do heels for the ceremony and photos and flats for the dancing.

    By the end of the night, my bustle was all sorts of messed up, because it was too long in flats and everyone kept stepping on it.

    This photo is us going to the after party looking tore up as fuck.


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