What is a waste?

Really necessary- great food, booze, and a DJ (if you’re going for a party vibe)
Not necessary- personalized favors, napkins, cups, fancy centerpieces, chargers for the tables, chair covers, programs, menus

Honestly, I'm so glad we decided to get our invitations on Etsy and print them ourselves at Staples. It cost me about $100. My FBIL and FSIL are using someone local that is known for beautiful invitations. Don't get me wrong, they're gorgeous, but likely will get thrown out if it's not a VIP guest looking to keep your invitation. To me, it's a source of information and not worth shelling out $700 on, so I'm glad we "cheaped out" on those sort of speak.

I think if you put the majority of your budget into the guests' experience (i.e. food/alcohol/entertainment) you can't go wrong. We skipped on the videographer and got a higher end photographer instead.

ETA: Favors. We're doing a donut bar as our favors. If it wasn't edible, we were going to skip it all together. I've never taken a favor that wasn't edible.

Try to think back to the elements on weddings you’ve been to that you remembered or really enjoyed. Then work your way from there. I found that one of things I really love at weddings is a photobooth so I included one in our budget, but found aisle decor was not necessary with our venue or a priority to spend money on.

Necessary: Caterer, alcohol, bartender, professional officiant, hired attendant or DOC to do set up and break down, some type of entertainment

Unneccesary: Over the top stationary, STDs, engagement pictures, wildly expensive dress and accessories, chargers, signs everywhere, favors, send-offs, Garter/bouquet toss, over the top florals, games at the reception, the shoe game etc.

It really all depends on you guys. What do you want to get most out of your wedding? Do you love food and want multiple kinds of desserts? Do you want tons of documentation of your day? Are you overjoyed when you see huge displays of roses and peonies? I'd find your priorities first, then think about your guests priorities.

For me, my priority was the photographer and I wasn't as concerned about flowers. I splurged on the photographer/videographer package that I wanted and I knew that was how I'd be able to document my day. I've found that the best photographers (not always the most expensive) can make any event look magical. The venue I chose was naturally beautiful which allowed me to go much simpler on flowers. If I had the budget, I'd have gotten letterpress invitations, but I went much more basic because I know my guests wouldn't be as concerned with the material my invites were on, and much more focused on the information in the invites.

We're doing a lot of DIY hand making all the bouquets and boutiners, as well as hand making all of our signs, we went with simple centerpieces and made sure between our venue and catering that linens and flatware were included in the cost. We're also reusing some deco from both his and my cousins wedding that happened or will happen a year before ours

I use the guideline of what will I care about, want to see in a photo, want to remember in 10 years? For me, I care about the cake, food and fun. I won't want to see pics of someone putting on my makeup in 1 year much less 10, so I can shave off photographer time that way. I don't care at all about flowers because while pretty, they die. Gimmicky stuff that says bride and groom, mrs/mr all over it, and overly gushy stuff like that seems cute but in a few months you aren't going to use them.

I think for most people it is experience over things. We all obsess over centerpieces and decor and favors, but 10 years down the line you know what people will remember, the time they had! Not that your bouquet flowers were the exact same color as your groom's tie. It is so overwhelming because there are so many choices now and everyone has taken full advantage of weddings and the emotional of them which makes people feel that all the excess stuff is necessary. For example, my sister just bought my 3yo nephew a $20 ring bearer t-shirt. He will wear it for a day or two, everyone knows he is the ring bearer and he cant even read the shirt! What a waste of $.
I second all the DIY, renting, and second hand items, even for your dress and bridesmaid dresses, but this too can get really mentally exhausting.

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I agree. We ordered ours on etsy and I printed through catprint.com and spent way less than anywhere else

I have not had my wedding yet. But real flowers I felt were a waste as you spend so much money on something that will die. I did a lot of diy to save money like buying stuff from the dollar store and customizing. We splurged on the photographer as that is what will last forever but we did get video too at a great cost. My favors my grandma hand made and all I need is the candy to go inside.

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Yep on all those things - I have never taken a favor that is not edible. Save the Dates are a waste as you are locking into an invite.

Bridesmaid proposals, memory tables and honeyfunds all need to go away. Signs need to leave too. I know where to sit and to not use my phone.

Good food, drink and ambiance will never go out of favor, nor will the bride and groom thanking each guest at the reception.

These are the things I personally found necessary/unnecessary for my wedding, but I do think a lot of these things depend on your personal budget and vision for your wedding.

Necessary: Fun DJ, Lots of yummy food, & open bar. I also found it important to have a Coordinator since I'm having a DW & to do a room block with discounted rooms for my guests.

Unnecessary: toooo many decorations (personal touches are nice, but 10+ft tall centerpieces, too many signs for everything, etc. just seem over the top for me), reception games such as the bouquet toss, etc., favors that aren't edible, engagement photos (unless included in your photography package)

I personally chose to cut back on things that wouldn't cater to not only myself, but my guests. I would rather host a really wonderful meal, and a night with a fun party atmosphere with unlimited drinks, then to splurge on decorations, floral pieces, and favors that no one will remember in the years to come.

Necessity: good food, open/limited bar, chair for every butt, music at a comfortable level, a/c, good music, a day of coordinator

unnecessary: signage-can be a bit redundant, programs, menus, favors, expensive invitations, stds,

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It reminds me of that song from the 70's: "Signs, signs everywhere there's signs! Do this, don't do that, can't you read the signs?" LOL!

This is totally personal preference. As long as you're hosting your guests well, things are only a waste if they are to you.

Lots of people think splurging on invitations is a waste. We had ours totally custom to our exact specs and they were amazing. They set our theme perfectly. People have been telling us they don't want to mail the RSVP back because they want to keep the whole invitation suite. So to us, totally not a waste.

I think a huge flower budget is a waste. To some couples, florals are very important.

So my advice is, figure out what is important to YOU and go from there.

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Too funny!! It makes me think: How did I ever get through a wedding back in 1984 with no signs, cellphones, STD's and wedding websites? LOL!

OP - if something is important to you then it is not a waste. I could care less about shoes but there are brides who drop serious coin on shoes - that is their preference. Anything that did not directly address the comfort and hosting of our guests I will consider eliminating.

Necessary: things that affect your guest experience. Good food, alcohol, and a chair for every butt. Appropriate setting for the climate (rain, heat, cold, etc). Professional officiant.

Nice to have: A good DOC, DJ, photographer, HMUA.

Not necessary: Save the dates, programs, favors, photobooths, large bridal parties. (Not knocking these but know what you're getting into if you have them, and take care of the more important things before you spend money on these.)

Really necessary- food, alcohol, music, enough chairs and tables for everyone

Not so much- all paper products (no save the dates, ceremony programs, menues, etc.) no bridal party, no floral centerpieces (use candles) only a bouquet for you and bout for him, no photobooth, no fancy boutique dress (DB has great options, also look into lulu's or buying online somewhere reputable) skip favors, skip trendy candy bars and cookie tables, skip sparkler exits, skip engagement pics (take 1 nice photo if you really want to send out STD's), skip the garter toss, skip the chargers at every seat, signs, skip anything that doesnt add to the guests experience.

Think about what you remember and enjoy from weddings, talk to your future husband about whats important to you. For us, we wanted good food and a good dj. We got save the dates and invites from Vistaprint for a GREAT price during a 50% off sale. My $600 dress was on sale for $300 at Davids Bridal. We got a welcome wedding sign and a picture frame for $20 from Vistaprint. BBQ and Italian are cheaper foods, use candles for centerpieces instead of flowers. Super romantic and low cost.

View Quoted Comment What do you mean by memory tables?

Alot of great ideas. For flowers we're doing silk theyre cheaper and last. You can do online invitations rsvps engagement photos and Dave the dates. We're putting an event on fb and those who don't have a social media account were sending invitations. Walmart is cheap. Most of our decor is coming off Amazon or etsy even wish. Honestly shoes aren't as important. Noones going to see them.
Food alcohol dj and photographer are always a must have. For cakes try and look for someone local. Even grocery stores have them and half the price than a cake shop.

The advice I've been given is not to go crazy on flowers or decor. Decor can be done in an affordable fashion, so crazy expensive isn't necessary. And being super specific on linens and napkins that cost extra, aren't even noticed by guests. Favors aren't even necessary because half the time people don't take them.